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To have refused to move my dogs?

(92 Posts)
HipHipHippoo Wed 10-Apr-19 22:44:45

Today I was in the woods with my 2 dogs and 3 DC. I was sitting on a bench with 2 yo old DD while she had a snack and her sisters climbed a tree. A woman approached and sat at the other end of the bench. One of my dogs looked in her direction and she told me to take them away. I said "excuse me?" She said "I don't like dogs, take them away." I told her that if she didn't like dogs then perhaps she should sit elsewhere (my dogs were laying down and hadn't moved since she sat down.) She launched into a tirade about how dog owners think they own the woods, that she should be able to go for a walk without being made to feel uncomfortable and so on. I largely ignored her.

When DD finished her snack and we were ready to move on, I waited until we were 50m or so from the woman before letting my dogs off their leads. She stood up and bellowed at me to put them on leads, that there are children around and it's so dangerous...! The only children there were mine, and the dogs were perfectly under control anyway. AIBU to have ignored her or am I indeed being an ignorant dog owner??

BlueSlipperSocks Thu 11-Apr-19 13:41:59


*I think Lets means that people think they can let their dogs run anywhere and do anything in wooded areas.
The ones we walk in have runners and walkers and horse riders and cyclist about. I keep my dog where I can see her and make her stand still and out of the way if we encounter others on our walk.
Not all dog owners are irresponsible and not all dogs are badly behaved*

I think that's typical of most dog owners tbf. Not many would allow their dogs to run free if there are horses, motorcycles and children about. I can't see anything wrong with letting a dog have a run around with a ball, swim in the river or just to sniff in the undergrowth, when there is clearly nothing/nobody around. Mine has excellent recall and ignores everybody and other dogs so not a problem at all. She has also been trained to sit and wait for people/horses/cyclists/joggers to pass. I certainly don't think I own the woods lol! I don't see many unruly dogs about tbf and I'm out in dog walking areas 3 times a day, every day. The minority who are unruly are a bloody nuisance for dog owners and non dog owners alike.

I usually head to the top of the mountain during school holiday time. Nobody without a dog will walk that far. I've just come back from a walk in the woods. It was very pleasant. Plenty of dogs and their owners interacting appropriately. The next two weeks will be very different and we can look forward to rubbish being discarded everywhere, because families simply must have a picnic in the woods, and leave their rubbish there, all the while complaining that someone has the audacity to walk their dog in a public place, whether it's on lead or not.

Wolfiefan Thu 11-Apr-19 13:46:12

We headed over the field today. Met one other dog owner and we walked and chatted as our dogs mooched. No one else about. I will avoid parks and touristy areas over the Easter holidays. Mainly because my dog prefers it quiet and without too many people. They do say dogs are like their owners. grin

LillithsFamiliar Thu 11-Apr-19 13:59:28

Bianca I agree benches are for people. I'm sure it would have been possible to position the dogs so they didn't infringe on people sitting on the bench. And I think a dog owner should do that automatically rather than waiting for someone to ask.

BlueSlipperSocks Thu 11-Apr-19 14:00:10

Iwill avoid parks and touristy areas over the Easter holidays. Mainly because my dog prefers it quiet and without too many people

Exactly! I'm very lucky where I live. Plenty of woodland, mountains, enclosed fields - without livestock, and dog friendly beaches to choose from. I avoid parks and cycle tracks like the plague!

Greggers2017 Thu 11-Apr-19 14:00:17

@EjectorCrab I think you need to work on your sons fear of dogs and teach him not to squeal and jump up and down. That will wind a dog up. Unfortunately some dogs get out or run off so the owner may not always be close by.

YouTheCat Thu 11-Apr-19 14:03:47

Lillith, her dogs weren't infringing on anyone. They were sat on the ground and on leads.

Biancadelrioisback Thu 11-Apr-19 14:06:03

Lilliths as far as I can see from the OP (unless I've misread) but where does it say her dogs weren't positioned away from the bench and infringed upon the woman?

swashbuckles Thu 11-Apr-19 14:15:17

To people saying OP knew someone was scared so shouldn't have let the dogs off lead... How exactly scared was she to go and sit right next to something shes scared of. That's idiotic.
If we passed a law that dogs must always be on a lead we'd have a craptonne of frustrated, giddy, mental dogs who will abscond at first oppprtunity. The majority need exercise.

"Dogs scare me, hang on theres some dogs over there I'll go park myself next to them"

Okay then.

EjectorCrab Thu 11-Apr-19 14:19:16

@Greggers2017 @EjectorCrab I think you need to work on your sons fear of dogs and teach him not to squeal and jump up and down. That will wind a dog up. Unfortunately some dogs get out or run off so the owner may not always be close by.

Exactly the excuse this woman gave. If the owners are not close by (as this woman wasn’t) then they are not in control of their dog. And just like this woman, you’re blaming my DS. I take it you’re a dog owner, maybe you’re even the woman from this morning.
Like I said, I like animals. I grabbed it my the collar and knelt beside it until the owner arrived. A dog hater might not have been so kind. I’m not blaming the dog, I’m naming the selfish owner, please don’t blame my DS.

Sawyer2202 Thu 11-Apr-19 14:34:10

What a c u next Tuesday

UnusualBluePenguin Thu 11-Apr-19 14:39:10

I hate people who come and sit on my bench. Find your own bench you weirdo.

Troels Thu 11-Apr-19 14:41:01

Not a dog lover hear by any means, and I even think that waoman was nuts about sitting on the bench.
However letting them off lead when theres a lot of nesting going on is unreasonable.
Round us it's nut jobs letting them off lead around lambing fields claiming they are "good dogs with good recall and under control they'd never hurt a fly types" Bullshit on that one the sheep are still scared into misscarrying just having lose dogs running about.

Greggers2017 Thu 11-Apr-19 16:07:32

@EjectorCrab no I'm not blaming your DS I'm merely stating that it's a lot safer if you help your dog overcome his fears. My sister reacted like your son as a little girl and the dog that approached her was thankfully nice but some dogs do escape and they can bite or get overexcited. Standing still and staying calm is much better than agitating the dog.
Mum took my sister to therapy to overcome her fear.

I am a dog owner but my 3 are always on leads unless in an open space with no other people around. Unfortunately there are some irresponsible owners and I'm just thinking about your child's safety.

swashbuckles Thu 11-Apr-19 16:10:40

I agree dogs should be kept under control and exercised in an appropriate place but unless you've hired a field to walk in with your kids/dog the two are going to encounter one another sometimes. I call my dog back when there are kids but if some suddenly come running around a corner or something its going to happen. Teaching a kid not to scream and jump up and down when there's a dog is found advice. Depending on the dog itll likely either interpret that the kids playing and pay the kid a lot of unwanted attention OR it will become scared. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know an animal is much more likely to misbehave or become defensive when scared. Not victim blaming, common sense.

adaline Thu 11-Apr-19 16:26:53

I’m not blaming the dog, I’m naming the selfish owner, please don’t blame my DS

Nobody is blaming your son, but him jumping up and down and squealing won't be helping the the situation. When we got our puppy, we had to really train my niece not to squeal and run about (she wasn't scared, just playing) because it wound the dog up and encouraged him to run and chase her - he saw her as the ideal playmate - which was fine, but play needed to be a bit calmer for both their sakes.

I totally appreciate your DS is scared but the best thing he can do is stand still and fold his arms - no moving, no squealing and ideally, no eye contact. The vast majority of dogs will ignore you if you ignore them.

Gin96 Thu 11-Apr-19 16:48:57

I had a lady run up behind my 2 dogs, both on leads, my dog had some thing in his paw and I was trying to get it out, she stood behind me flapping and screaming, there was loads of room to go round me, I was slightly off the path! My dogs never went anywhere near her. All she had to do was walk round, I had to move with my dog hobbling. Surely you need to learn a bit about dog behaviour if you are that scared.

Unfinishedkitchen Thu 11-Apr-19 16:52:47

I was once on a train sat opposite a woman with a dog and her friend sat next to her. The dog was lying by her feet, causing no trouble the entire time.

A guy came on and stood nearby. The dog was still lying down at her feet. He started yelling at her to get her dog away and threatened to harm the dog abd her I’d she didn’t remove it. Everyone on the carriage was confused then scared as it became apparent the guy was using the presence of the dog to cause trouble and be aggressive.

Luckily another man intervened and told the man to stop scaring the woman and the aggressive man got off at the next stop. The entire time this happened the dog didn’t move. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen someone carrying on like a loon at the presence of a dog which is nowhere near them and is minding their own business.

OP, some people are aggressive and want to argue. They actively go looking for it. This is what you were the victim of.

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