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AIBU?

AIBU to call the school to ask?

21 replies

Lazydaisies · 10/04/2019 19:49

DDs school are running an end of year play. DD was taken out of class and specifically given a singing sheet with her name on it and told to learn a particular song. She has practiced it daily for 2 months now at home. School have not mentioned it to her since. Rehearsals for the show was today and the choir sang her song. You are only eligible to join the choir in the year older than DDs class. Anyone outside of the choir was specifically told not to sing along.

WIBU to ring the school and ask them if the plan has changed or should I just leave it as one of those things? Tbh I am not even sure who I would call as it is not one of her teachers in charge of the performance. Interested in other people's views.

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GoingRetroMN · 10/04/2019 19:50

How old is DD? Can she ask?

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Lazydaisies · 10/04/2019 19:54

I suggested it to her but she is not confident she is 10.

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BertrandRussell · 10/04/2019 19:55

I’d ring and ask. How does she feel about it?

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BertrandRussell · 10/04/2019 19:56

Much too hard a thing for her to ask herself. You need to help her out.

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Lazydaisies · 10/04/2019 19:58

Disappointed and frustrated Bertrand and I suspect a teeny bit embarrassed because it has come up with her friends that she was asked. She is definitely not the type to brag but they knew she was supposed to sing and now she isn't as far as she can see.

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IceRebel · 10/04/2019 19:59

Rehearsals have been going on for over 2 months and she hasn't once sung the song as a solo? If so I think It sounds like someone may have given her the sheet in error, or she may have got the wrong end of the stick.

She definitely needs to ask a teacher about it, to help clear up any confusion.

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gottastopeatingchocolate · 10/04/2019 20:01

Your DD must know who gave her the sheet. Ask that person.

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Lazydaisies · 10/04/2019 20:03

I don't know what exactly happened Ice. She was never fully sure it was a solo. All she knew was that she did an audition, then she was called out of class by the teacher running the show, handed a sheet on which he had written her name, told to practice the song and he would get back to her.

I have asked her a few times if he had called her back but the answer was always no. It is a big show and so there are a lot of various facets so I was never that surprised her time had not come yet.

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CatWhisker · 10/04/2019 20:06

Poor thing. I'd contact them and ask what happened

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Lazydaisies · 10/04/2019 20:07

She does know gotta but because it is not a class teacher I have much more limited mechanism for communication.

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TheMightyToosh · 10/04/2019 20:13

Ahh I've been here and I hate it when schools do things like this. Don't they realise that's huge to a 10yo? The poor thing has practiced it as asked and now possibly not even singing it?

I would have stern words if needed once you figure out what's gone on. Too often schools IME are focusing on putting on a great show and forgetting about the individual children and the impact on them.

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gottastopeatingchocolate · 10/04/2019 20:13

Can you send her in with a letter for the teacher?
With your contact details so he can reply by email/phone.

Do you have a reporting system like class dojo or Tapestry? Because you can access other staff on some of those.

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Chickoletta · 10/04/2019 20:35

I had this exact situation with my DS last year. He was playing Aladdin and had rehearsed 'A Whole New World' with Jasmine at school with the music teacher and we'd worked on it at home too. When it got to the final rehearsals, the whole cast was singing the whole song with no solos. He was gutted and embarrassed. I spoke to the drama teacher in a very non confrontational way (I'm sure DS has got this wrong but he thought that Mrs Musicteacher had said..') and she was fine about it. Just a miscommunication between the staff, she didn't know that he' did been practising it and put it back in the show. Sorted!

Could something similar have happened here?

I think it's definitely worth a quick phone call or email.

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Lazydaisies · 10/04/2019 22:00

Thanks everyone I think I will give them a buzz and see buoyed by your advice.

I suspect the teacher has forgotten, easily done. I just feel sorry for DD as she has been practicing every day and she actually does sing it very well now.

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Moomooboo · 10/04/2019 22:11

I really wouldn't get involved for her. If she was confident enough to sing a solo she should be confident enough to ask about it in the first place. If she's not confident enough to ask - then she doesn't have a solo. How can she sing in front of a crowd of people on her own but she can't ask a teacher a question...

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BertrandRussell · 10/04/2019 23:27

“I really wouldn't get involved for her. If she was confident enough to sing a solo she should be confident enough to ask about it in the first place.”

Absolute bollocks. I have a child who acted King Lear in front of 500 people but couldn’t approach a teacher about a misunderstanding like this. And he’s 7 years older than the OP’s dd. Go in to bat for her, OP!

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BackforGood · 10/04/2019 23:55

I don't think it is bollocks. This is exactly a situation where you raise your child's confidence and skills and self esteem but supporting them to go and resolve it. Teach them how to speak up when something is important to them. Let them practice on you what they are going to say, or even give them the word to say, but this is in a school where they have presumably been for 6 year, and know the staff, and - as pp said - have the confidence and desire to stand and sing in front of a big audience, then this is exactly the time to show how talking to someone about a misunderstanding, is the way to resolve it.

All that sai, I don't know why you didn't get them to ask 6 weeks ago - to have gone back to the teacher with the sheet they were given and clarify if it was for another audition or if it meant they had a solo, or what.

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NWQM · 10/04/2019 23:56

Definately would say ask. They need to know that your DD is feeling uncomfortable.

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DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 11/04/2019 01:14

I'd ask. Depending on your child, that could be a really big thing for them to ask for themselves.

Any chance she has a name and initial in common with a child in another class and someone had a brainfart? "Sophie B" must be your dd Sophie Brown in year 4, who I took for PE before lunch and who is fresh in my mind, not Sophie Burton in yr 6 who is actually in the choir?

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PregnantSea · 11/04/2019 03:34

I actually agree with Backforgood

Doing these sorts of things is an important learning experience for your DD. Support her and give her the confidence to ask herself. She'll be in secondary school soon, she needs to be able to speak up for herself.

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Lazydaisies · 11/04/2019 15:05

It is definitely her. I've cursed her with a yoooonique name.

I had actually decided to give her one more day to try herself and I spoke to her about how she might do that before I read the other messages since I last responded. As to why I didn't go in 6 weeks ago. It really would not have been appropriate then, so I waited to see what was happening. The show has been written by staff members and they have been taking people in and out of class to do new bits but no children have been consistently coming in and out of class because there is no star so to speak.

Dd has tried to speak to teacher a few times but he has shooed her on as unsurprisingly he is rather busy working his teaching job and managing a show. There is that power imbalance between teacher and student that she has struggled with too. So we waited to see what was happening. Now it appears he has forgotten her or handed her song to someone else so we are wondering what to do. There is nothing going to change the course of history here, it is not life or death but I am hoping to strike a balance between what DD would like to happen and a very, very busy and hard working teacher.