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To give up work ?

(48 Posts)
GetMeOut Wed 10-Apr-19 17:54:33

Just trying to make sure I don't do something stupid....
I am a single parent to DT( 17). Their father has never helped financially, so I have have worked FT pretty much the whole time.
I am worn out with work and home. One twin is doing ok at 6th form, but the other one has managed to leave school without any qualifications and needs my help with the next step in life. Me being out of the house for nearly 12 hours every day means they can avoid life/ responsibilities etc. Think anxiety issues as well as school/ learning issues.
My job has changed dramatically over the last 18 months and it has gone from a job I loved to a job I hate. The company has now been taken over by a large American company ( who I used to work for over 15 years ago and I left because I was so stressed out ). Takeover only happened 10 days ago and things are already changing quickly. I can feel all the stress coming back already.
I have ( some how ) savings to fall back on and a sufficient pensions provisions from old job and current job ( I have been working for 37 years in one shape or another) which I can access in 18 months time. I won't be rich but I will be able to pay all bills and have a pot for boiler/ car breaking down etc and small type holidays /weekends. I have never done big holidays or anything flashy anyway so I don't think I will be giving anything up. DT who is in 6h form wants to go to universal so he will have to take full student loan ( tuition and maintenance and should qualify for full maintenance if I stop work now )
I am worn out. I think I need to be around for my teenagers.
I want to give up my job. Now. I have lots of creative hobbies I want to peruse but probably won't be able to earn anything from them. Am I missing anything ? AIBU ?

Jackshouse Wed 10-Apr-19 18:00:37

How old are you? Can you afford to retire or may you be struggling in 12 months to look for a job? It’s always easier to find a job when you have one. Can you look for a part time job?

Dyrne Wed 10-Apr-19 18:00:57

I think your misery at work is (understandably) making you very blinkered and wanting to pack it all in; but why is it all or nothing? Couldn’t you look to find a nice, low stress 9-5 admin type job with a really short commute? Yes it might take you a while to find but if you’re able to live off savings in the meantime you could search at your leisure! You could even look for part time. Maybe plan for a 6 month break to concentrate on supporting your DC find their path in life while you idly look for another job?

Just thinking as well that it might be difficult to persuade your DC to find a job when you're giving up yours!

GetMeOut Wed 10-Apr-19 18:01:26

Nearly 54

Waveysnail Wed 10-Apr-19 18:02:44

Would work let you drop to couple days a week until pension kicks in.

GetMeOut Wed 10-Apr-19 18:05:23

Dyrne, thank you. Yes, I like that idea. I was thinking of maybe doing some volunteer work and maybe getting DC involved in that as well.
I am definitely blinkered at the moment and that is what is worrying me.

Dyrne Wed 10-Apr-19 18:07:31

To be honest you’re in a fortunate position OP - if you do pack it in i’ll be jealous - I absolutely hate my job and dream of sticking two middle fingers up at my bosses while back flipping the hell out of there; but sadly I still have 20 years of mortgage to pay off grin

Dyrne Wed 10-Apr-19 18:08:36

OP that’s a great idea - gets your DC out and trying things that will look good on the CV, but you being with them may help with their anxiety.

BloodyDisgrace Wed 10-Apr-19 18:12:17

What are you going to live on? Hopefully, not your savings? Have you thought/enquired how much a dole would be? Universal Credit my arse it is these days. My friend (your age, a bit older) gets £300 a month, rural area, has to spend on petrol to get to places by a car, has mortgage, don't know how she pays that+bills.

I understand you. I'm 43 and gave up work. Always resented it, at times hated it and in my last years as middle manager in civil service (managing 5 nice middle aged women) had to be signed off work with stress once every year. No kids, just a good husband, plus a house I let to get me some 800quid monthly rent. From which I have my personal expenses of 200.

Find out your alternative options re: finances first. I cannot comment on the need to be around, and for, your children. Good luck. Your feeling about work is quite - well - universal.

GetMeOut Wed 10-Apr-19 18:13:27

Waveysnail - your idea makes sense in paper but I have tried my job part time before and it was even more stressful, unfortunately. It is all or nothing in current job I'm afraid plus having to prove myself to new bosses whilst being giving all the crap as we are being taken over.

whittingtonmum Wed 10-Apr-19 18:14:27

I would advise finding another job and leave your current one once you have it lined up. Part-time jobs are rarely advertised but you could try and negotiate a four day week and/or some working from home days with the new one once you have an offer. 54 is young to retire unless you have one hell of a pension pot. If you leave now and change your mind and want to find a new job later you might also struggle due to age-related discrimination AND a career break. I am not sure a 17 year old would need you at home full time but appreciate it would be useful to be around more/be more available. A part time and/or working more days from home job should do the trick.

StarTheGirl Wed 10-Apr-19 18:17:34

Ime 9-5 admin jobs are not stress free! I’ve had many and some are horrible.

I would definitely go with similar though; something low key, maybe even part time to get you by. I wouldn’t keep up the job you hate when you don’t really have to.

My mil retired from a stressful job recently and got a very PT job in a supermarket. She seems to love it!

GetMeOut Wed 10-Apr-19 18:19:40

BloodyDisgrace ( great name )!
Yes, I will live on savings until pension kicks in, but I'm thinking that is what they are for - the rainy day ? I feel the rainy day is now here. ( though take your point that everyone feels the same about work )

I will also have the option at some stage of moving/downsizing and this will free up some equity.

GetMeOut Wed 10-Apr-19 18:23:42

Sorry Dyrne winkbut I like the image of you doing back flips !
I do realise that i am lucky to have these options. I didn't have them 10 years ago.

GetMeOut Wed 10-Apr-19 18:24:24

Star girl - good points - thank you

BlackPrism Wed 10-Apr-19 18:33:03

Quit and get a job in a cafe or pub, just doing min wage work and leaving it all behind when you get home. And pick and choose your hours.

hawleybits Wed 10-Apr-19 18:35:33

I could have written this post. I'm a couple of years older than you, but without a really decent personal pension pot although, I have worked my whole life, except when the children were under 5. The youngest is now 18.
I now work 50 hours a week and I'm exhausted! Fortunately, mine is term time only, otherwise I'd have had to rethink my work/life balance.
I'm always looking for ways out and I have to say that I don't blame you one little bit.

GetMeOut Wed 10-Apr-19 18:47:49

Black prism - yes - good idea. I have done those sort of jobs but i was a lot younger then ! I have images of looking like that tv sketch of Julie Walters serving soup !

GetMeOut Wed 10-Apr-19 18:52:14

Thanks, Hawleybits. Sorry it is the same for you, and I appreciate your understanding. I heard an advert for the Postcode Lottery this morning and such is my state of mind that I started to think that this was the way forward grin

GetMeOut Wed 10-Apr-19 19:22:36

Victoria Wood as a soup serving waitress - not Walters hmm

SeriouslyStrongCheese Wed 10-Apr-19 19:55:23

Do is so short. Stack a few shelves got 18 months if you need to. If you dont and you can make your savings last until you get your pension then do it.

SeriouslyStrongCheese Wed 10-Apr-19 19:55:48

For not got

Genevieva Wed 10-Apr-19 20:23:01

Any chance the new parent company might to a redundancy round? It would be great if you could volunteer to be made redundant and be paid to leave.

daphine2004 Wed 10-Apr-19 20:27:25

Will they be looking at redundancy following this transfer? You’ve a long service and it might be worth just seeing what happens if there is.

Moonie1970 Wed 10-Apr-19 20:52:15

I totally understand where you are coming from .
I’ve worked 26 years for a Company that has changed so much over the years .
I’m being worked into the ground and when I get home I’m so tired I’m asleep by 9pm .
I have a child in year 10 with mocks on the horizon and an older child who doesn’t work due to ill health .
I have 2 pensions but would. It be able to leave as it wouldn’t give me enough to live on .
I feel as chill get older they need you more in some strange kind of way they have different sets of problems and I feel I’ve taken my eye of the ball with my parenting.
I do it all myself with no help financially or otherwise .
You sound in a much better position than me if you can afford to id give it up
Like a shot .
Good luck going forward

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