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To feel abit miffed....

(19 Posts)
tinkertinker1 Wed 10-Apr-19 16:00:37

Not miffed....I don't know what the word is really.

So me and dh have been together a good few years. Right before he met me, he was seeing someone, think they were together a couple of months. I know her name as dh has mentioned her a couple of times in the past. She doesn't live in the same city as us.

Anyway she came up on my people you may know on fb. Very strange, never even seen her profile before. We have 1 mutual friend which is a friend of dh. She isn't friends with dh.

So obviously I'm nosey and I have a quick peak at her profile which is all very private except for when she was seeing dh. Fair enough... that doesn't bother me. It was long before me.

But what does bother me is she shared songs that dh dedicated to me!

When we first got together, he used to send me songs from you tube and tell me to listen to them as they reminded him of me. I thought it was all lovely and they became our songs. 2 even played at our wedding!!

But clearly they aren't our songs as it looks like he sent her the same ones!

They just won't mean the same to me now.

I'm not going to mention it to dh. But just has upset me abit.

Or Aibu?

NoSauce Wed 10-Apr-19 16:05:35

I don’t think I’d like that either OP.

HowlsMovingBungalow Wed 10-Apr-19 16:06:41


It is a bit shit although I have a sneaky suspicion a good few men tell fibs!

ShitAtScarbble Wed 10-Apr-19 16:07:27

YAB a bit u to be a bit upset but I wouldn't go making a huge fuss about this. You run the very real risk of looking a bit like a bunny boiler. Leave it be.

IvanaPee Wed 10-Apr-19 16:08:58

Oh god 😂😂 what a knob.

CupcakeDrama Wed 10-Apr-19 16:09:09

Sounds like shes been looking you up and thats why shes come up as a suggested friend. yanbu

HowlsMovingBungalow Wed 10-Apr-19 16:11:00

I reckon there is lots of 'recycled' me&you songs out there.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Wed 10-Apr-19 16:13:03

Perhaps DH just really has a limited repertoire of music that he likes ??

But he's married to you and has been for yonks!

Confusedbeetle Wed 10-Apr-19 16:14:49

Its just laziness on his part, liked the songs, recycled. Dedicating songs is all a bit childish imo so I wouldnt be bothered at alll

waterygrass Wed 10-Apr-19 16:21:09

When my partner and I first started messaging we'd send each other links to songs we loved and probably said they were meaningful in the context of our relationship. If we split and still loved those songs I'd imagine they'd have meaning in new relationships too. I don't see a problem with it

Morgan12 Wed 10-Apr-19 16:22:35

Shes looked you up. That's what I would find strange.

whiskeysourpuss Wed 10-Apr-19 16:25:03

Or... is it possible that she's around the same age as you & DH & these are just songs from her teenage/younger years?

Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer was mine & ex-h song some 20 years ago... I still bloody love the song now & wouldn't think twice about sharing it on FB in case he'd maybe enjoyed it with wife number 2 highly unlikely

Pinotjo Wed 10-Apr-19 16:27:34

He's probably got the idea from her, most blokes don't dedicate songs to their OH, he probably thought it was a nice idea and as he loves you he wanted to do something soppy that would make you feel good, he probably doesn't/didn't sit around listening to love songs so pinched the ones the other girl chose, smart in my opinion, my OH wouldn't have a clue about romance. I wouldn't read anymore into it

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Wed 10-Apr-19 16:30:21

Shes looked you up. That's what I would find strange. not necessarily

MitziK Wed 10-Apr-19 16:30:50

No danger of that with my DP. XW liked the blandest, poppiest indie shit in the world and XGF was into Screaming Doom Metal.

My issue was with the song he wrote for me being the shittiest thing he'd ever done. An entire album of brilliant stuff and the one that was 'mine' was trite, folky wank on mandolin. Not telling him, though.

Fatted Wed 10-Apr-19 16:36:13

If her Facebook has randomly popped up on your 'People you may now' section it's either because you've looked for them or they've looked for you.

Sounds to me like she's looked you up and left all her old stuff unlocked for a reason. To wind you up.

It's up to you if you let it get to you or not. Personally I wouldn't.

tinkertinker1 Wed 10-Apr-19 16:48:01

@whiskeysourpuss no as she's actually shared the songs and dedicated them to my dh. So I know it's for him.

Then she shared some afterwards, when we first started dating.

It all makes sense, she found it hard when he ended things with her, he had to block her on everything.

Then after maybe 3 months of dating me, he told me about her (which is why her name always stuck in my head). She had sent him an email begging her him to give her another chance. Email was the only was she could contact him as she was blocked on everything else. He showed me the email. I thought it was great he was being honest with me about it.

This was back in 2015. She's had another relationship since, can't tell if they are still together or not as her profile now is so limited.

Dh still has her blocked on fb as far as I know

whiskeysourpuss Wed 10-Apr-19 16:56:37

When you said you'd been together a good few years I assumed you'd been together for a lot longer than 4 years... hence my thinking that these were songs from her youth... I wouldn't say 4 was a good few years hmm

Personally I'd just block her & move on - it's all a bit drama llama & I couldn't find the energy to get arsey about it.

tinkertinker1 Wed 10-Apr-19 17:19:01

@whiskeysourpuss well no, it's not a good few years as in 20 years....but right now it feels like it.

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