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to be fumimg that hes been sacked yet again!!!

(71 Posts)
PoppyD93x Wed 10-Apr-19 10:24:56

My partner has just been sacked!! I'm so angry with him. Sometimes no matter whos in the wrong you cant keep having a go at your boss!! He's so argumentative can never back down and always has to have the last word. Sometimes in life you just have to grit your teeth and do the job because you need the fucking money!!!

Sorry i just need to rant!! This is the 2nd time its happened in 6 months with the same company. I dont think they will take him back this time.

EmeraldShamrock Wed 10-Apr-19 10:29:36

Shit OP. I don't blame you, I would be livid with him.
He needs to learn to speak inside his head.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Wed 10-Apr-19 10:33:41

Oh no. Bloody hell talk about not learning. If it was a case where by he was a slow worker or doing his best but underperforming. I'd be in the mind set of its not entirely his fault.
However to be sacked from a company get back in there and then do the same thing (which can be helped). What was he thinking of.
He was exceedly lucky that the company took him back.
I know there are times you've got to speak your mind, and that's a good thing.
However sometimes it is a case of "You can think what you like, but you can't say what you like."

Tomtontom Wed 10-Apr-19 10:33:41

Does he ever shout at you Poppy? Has he got anger management issues and is he getting help for them?

NoKnit Wed 10-Apr-19 10:35:56

I know this is annoying but please if you love him be there for your husband.

I have known cases where things like this have not ended well.

MortyVicar Wed 10-Apr-19 10:42:49

I know this is annoying but please if you love him be there for your husband.

If he'd been sacked unfairly then I'd agree, but when it's his own fault then no. His actions affect the OP hugely.

OP I'm another one asking - if he always has to be right, and have the last word and not back down, does this apply in your relationship too? Because if it does, then think hard about whether you still want to be with him.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Wed 10-Apr-19 10:44:49

He must be a joy to live with ....

Shoxfordian Wed 10-Apr-19 10:45:52

He's irresponsible
Is he angry like this with you as well?

Purplecatshopaholic Wed 10-Apr-19 10:50:56

My Ex was like this. And every time, he got angrier and angrier, as it was always their fault not his for not keeping his mouth shut. One of the many reasons he is now my Ex...

speakout Wed 10-Apr-19 10:52:23

He's so argumentative can never back down and always has to have the last word.

At home too?

JaneEyre07 Wed 10-Apr-19 10:54:14

You poor thing.

That's also going to blow any reference from them.

He's clearly not learned anything from last time.

pinkyredrose Wed 10-Apr-19 10:58:23

Why do you want to be with this angry tosser?

PoppyD93x Wed 10-Apr-19 10:59:42

Well its a weird situation the one before was his fault (imo) shouting, swearing and threatening manager in anger but they took him back because the manager admitted he started it and he was winding him up. But he could of easily bit his tongue and gone to the main boss first instead on retaliating back. Today im not sure really he said his main boss asked him to do something a bit dodgy.. he asked him to cut a key of the shop they're working in (in secret) and go in there when no one's there to get theyre equipment out (they're builders) which is totally wrong and when my partner told him he'd done it for him he said he didnt say that and my partner is a liar and sacked him. So not sure if im getting the full story or what. Sounds prettt weird to me.

downcasteyes Wed 10-Apr-19 11:00:55

Oh gosh. You poor thing.

I have a friend whose husband is also serially being fired. He is a lovely bloke but has a real problem with injustice - just cannot keep quiet when faced with it. It has its good points - he will speak truth to power - and its bad - he'll go off the deep end and treat a minor customer service problem like it's a human rights issue that requires the immediate intervention of Amnesty International. It actually turned out that he had an undiagnosed, non-neurotypical issue which was contributing to the behaviour. Of course, someone being serially fired doesn't have to have a pathological cause - but in this case it did. Just putting it out there in case it is helpful. smile

PoppyD93x Wed 10-Apr-19 11:00:58

And to the questions about our relationship.. thats a whole other thread!!

HBStowe Wed 10-Apr-19 11:02:11

This latest incident doesn’t sound like your DH’s fault (except that he should’ve refused to do something dodgy). It sounds like he was set up by his manager?

PoppyD93x Wed 10-Apr-19 11:06:54

Yeah does sound set up or he's not telling me the full story

Itssosunny Wed 10-Apr-19 11:07:08

Your DH needs to find a new employer and stay away from the dodgy ones as they can destroy his future opportunities.
Don't be angry at him as the employer is dodgy. Ideally, your DH should have kept quiet and then left them for another job but you can't change it and it's a lesson for him for the future.

Candleglow7475 Wed 10-Apr-19 11:07:15

Maybe that’s only half a story?
If it’s the full story I’d say he’s better off out of there if the boss is being dodgy like that.
It also sounds like he should learn to keep his mouth shut too, it’s just part of being an adult ... y’know not blurting out/ shouting the first thing that comes into your head?

bethy15 Wed 10-Apr-19 11:07:32

Sounds like a dodgy company though.

Letting him back after such an argument, and his manager saying he was arguing like that too.Now this.

It sounds hella dodgy. Is it a 'legit' company.

Itssosunny Wed 10-Apr-19 11:08:45

He is lucky not to have this job as he could have paid for his employer's dodgy dealings.

SnuggyBuggy Wed 10-Apr-19 11:10:07

The whole situation sounds dodgy. Is he willing to seek help for the anger and find a less dodgy workplace?

StarTheGirl Wed 10-Apr-19 11:11:52

Omg tbh, that most recent thing sounds like a set up! Was it the same boss who he swore at? If so, could this be pay back for that?

He’s a total idiot for letting himself get so wound up he swore AT anyone at work, let alone his boss in the first place. But this most recent thing actually doesn’t sound totally his fault... unless he lost it again and shouted and swore... Did he?

Also, would be worried if he does this at home too.

WeeDangerousSpike Wed 10-Apr-19 11:13:21

It does sound dodgy - did he say he'd done the key and equipment thing in front of someone else and drop boss in it?

I can imagine you're angry, I'd be livid.

Life's too long to spend with an angry shouty man, you have my sympathy, I have one too.

WattdeEll Wed 10-Apr-19 11:15:50

My ex was like this too. He has had 26 jobs in ten years. He was never out of work for long, but he was a perpetual victim, nothing was ever his fault, it was always that the managers were rubbish, accounts wouldn’t know what they were talking about and whatever else excuse he has that put the blame elsewhere. Every job he started would be the best job ever, then he would wind people up the wrong way, argue with key staff. I put up with it for so long and after a while the impact and stress on me was too much.
Only you know if this latest thing is because the company genuinely isn’t being run well, or if this is a long line of jobs where he hasn’t lasted because he isn’t capable of learning from mistakes and of holding down employment. Listen to your gut instinct

TreadingThePrimrosePath Wed 10-Apr-19 11:15:50

She was there for him last time, NoKnit, and he appears to have learnt nothing at all in the intervening 6 months. It’s more than merely annoying, it’s a very immature attitude from an adult in a relationship with bills to pay. It’s also currently not a good climate for job-hunting, and being sacked for being argumentative isn’t a good look on a cv either.

GirlcalledJack Wed 10-Apr-19 11:16:32

If what he is saying is true he needs to go to the police.

Can you suggest anger management therapy?

He obviously needs to find a new job with a decent company but if he can’t bite his tongue and tow the line it’s going to be difficult wherever he works.
Could you suggest finding a new job and becoming a union rep? Would give him a legitimate way to solve injustices of the workplace.

AintNobodyHereButUsReindeer Wed 10-Apr-19 11:17:46

Sounds like my dad, he was forever getting sacked. It was never his fault he fell out with his management though, the supervisor was a wanker, the boss was a dickhead, the manager was a control freak etc etc hmm My dad just couldn't learn to keep his trap shut and get on with his work. He'd always start rows.

cstaff Wed 10-Apr-19 11:20:41

My brother couldn't hold a job for years because of the same reason i.e. always arguing and falling out with his bosses because DB was always right. It was never DB fault anyway.

He ended up becoming a taxi driver as that was the only job he could do where he was his own boss and couldn't be fired grin

Not sure about your DH OP - his boss sounds very dodgy tbh. Maybe not as straightforward as my ass of a brother.

anonymousbird Wed 10-Apr-19 11:21:23

Oh no, so sorry to hear this, what an idiot for flying off the handle, though the situation sounds suspect. Sadly, he fell into the trap.

My sister kept getting sacked/always first to be made redundant as she couldn't accept any amount of authority or the fact that someone else might be right and she might, just might not be and needed to act in an appropriate fashion and not go crazy at superiors.

She has NPD, and constant changes of employment, getting sacked is a classic characteristic.

spanishwife Wed 10-Apr-19 11:24:57

I wouldn't waste my life with someone who can't get along in regular society. There's no excuse for raising your voice at anyone.

PoppyD93x Wed 10-Apr-19 11:34:35

Thats what annoys me. Whatever the situation was its never his fault always someone elses!! Im not sure if that's the full story or not but either way yes the company is a bit dodgy but it is legit its a big company that does new builds and shop fittings. Im on maternity leave aswell so i cant help much and our rent is ridiculous so f**k knows what we are going to do now.

bethy15 Wed 10-Apr-19 11:38:43

I've just seen your other thread and it seems he's just an awful person all around and doesn't just treat his bosses like crap but you too.

ilikemethewayiam Wed 10-Apr-19 11:41:00

I know you said it’s a whole other thread OP but people are rarely shouting, angry and threatening just at certain people and not others. If he’s like this with one person I’m assuming he’s also like it with you. It’s not something a person can switch off. what ever the real reason is for him getting sacked is irrelevant to how he reacted. That behaviour is abusive full stop. I could not live with someone who had explosive outbursts. I did for a long time! I was a nervous wreck at the end of it. I doubt you’ll get to the truth about his sacking or who’s to blame but at the end of the day, do you want to live with such a chaotic person? Surely you deserve better than this.

alittlesnow Wed 10-Apr-19 11:45:22

As someone who has always worked and paid my way and never taken handouts from anyone, and who comes from a family who is the same, including all the men; father, grandfather, great grandfather, uncles, brothers etc, I'm afraid this would be a dealbreaker for me.

All the men in my life (including my husband,) have been hard workers, who stayed in the same job for many years, and got their nose to the grindstone, and looked after their families. I simply couldn't tolerate a man who was flaky, unreliable, snappy, angry all the time, blaming everyone but himself for everything that goes wrong in his life, losing job after job, and throwing his family in the financial mire.

He won't even be able to claim jobseekers allowance, or housing benefit, or council tax benefit or ANYthing, not if he has been sacked.

My DH has had his moments when he has had arguments at work and claimed it's not his fault, but he has never been sacked - not in 36-37 years of work. He's not perfect - no-one is - but any man who is constantly being sacked - or even constantly giving up jobs and moving onto another one (several times a year,) is not someone I could be with.

I know several women with men like this, and they are always walking on eggshells, worrying about finances, borrowing money off people to make ends meet, and looking 10 years older than their age because of the stress. Being married to a stroppy, unreliable, immature manchild will do that to a woman.

Obviously if DH couldn't work because of health reasons or if he lost his job through redundancy, that would be different. For a start, he would not have deliberately and irresponsibly put the family's welfare and financial security in peril. And also, he would be able to claim benefits until he got another job (or until he was well again.) There's none of that if you're sacked!

As I said, dealbreaker for me. I'm afraid I would be leaving this man.

Sorry @PoppyDX93 You are worthy of a better man than this. Don't look back in 30 years and regret your life.

StarTheGirl Wed 10-Apr-19 11:47:43

Ime you need to go quite a long way to be sacked without warning*. That’s what’s so annoying. It’s so easily avoided in this case.

*Swearing and shouting at your boss will do it, right enough.

Sexnotgender Wed 10-Apr-19 11:50:22

Sounds like my ex. Nothing was ever his fault.

Was a bloody nightmare to live with. Note he’s an ex.

Itssosunny Wed 10-Apr-19 11:50:39

He needs to go to the Citizens Advice Bureau and talk to a solicitor. It's free for 30 min.

Ellisandra Wed 10-Apr-19 11:55:17

When asked of their relationship, a poster says “that’s a whole other thread” you just know they should just leave.

Obviously easy to say and hard to do when you have a small baby.

But honestly - your boyfriend should be among the very best people in your life. Don’t settle for this shit. Make sure you go back to work over maternity leave, and get your ducks in a row to have the options to leave him, if he’s the tosser I suspect he is.

HappilyHarridan Wed 10-Apr-19 11:57:20

Has he works there continuously for over two years?

spanishwife Wed 10-Apr-19 12:02:55

your boyfriend should be among the very best people in your life great line.
They should be someone you are proud to be with and excited to spend the rest of your life with. Anyone else isn't worth your precious and limited time.

TatianaLarina Wed 10-Apr-19 12:06:25

What are you doing with this man?

TroysMammy Wed 10-Apr-19 12:13:19

I had a husband who was constantly in and out of jobs. He in 98% of the time he walked out with some stupid reasons, as a postman he didn't want to get up in the morning! I wish I hadn't spent 13 years married to him and had a backbone although he didn't like confrontation. He's been an ex for 16 years and at the age of 50 is still flitting from one job to another. My advice get rid. The uncertainty isn't worth it.

shakenfizzydrink Wed 10-Apr-19 12:30:52

I feel like there is his story, his bosses story, and the truth somewhere in the middle.

But if he's nasty in general op, just get rid.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse Wed 10-Apr-19 12:34:03

What are you doing with this man?

Honestly break up with him. Why are you are wasting your life this man?

Takethebuscuitandthesink Wed 10-Apr-19 12:37:45

It is indescribable how livid I would be in your shoes. Even if it wasn’t his fault he has a baby on the way and a girlfriend to provide for. I would tell him that either he finds another job within a reasonable period of time (I.e a few weeks/a month) and keeps it. Or that is you two done.

Loopytiles Wed 10-Apr-19 12:42:38

This plus the relationship problems you allude to would be a deal breaker for me.

That said, construction employers can be shit!

Whatever you do continue to work FT.

TaxiPlease Wed 10-Apr-19 12:52:32

I have a friend whose husband is also serially being fired. He is a lovely bloke but has a real problem with injustice - just cannot keep quiet when faced with it. It has its good points - he will speak truth to power - and its bad - he'll go off the deep end and treat a minor customer service problem like it's a human rights issue that requires the immediate intervention of Amnesty International. It actually turned out that he had an undiagnosed, non-neurotypical issue which was contributing to the behaviour.

As someone who also struggles with authority, respecting hierarchies and biting my tongue (I don't swear or threaten people and have only been fired once, though!), downcast's post really resonated with me, especially the injustice bit. I have ADHD and medication does help me keep myself in check a little bit better. The OP's partner may just be a bit of a dick (haven't read OP's other thread), but there could be more to it.

Dana28 Wed 10-Apr-19 12:56:44

Your dh sounds well out of it. You should be supporting him.some jobs are not worth having

PoppyD93x Wed 10-Apr-19 13:03:39

Another boss has now said he might get his job next Monday. Oh what a mess!! Tbf he is trying in terms of the relationship we haven't had a big argument since Christmas when he first said he would change. In terms of his job its just added stress i dont need

Topseyt Wed 10-Apr-19 13:06:16

I don't know whether you will ever be sure that you are getting the whole story here, either from your partner or from his employer. Both sound dodgy to me.

It would be a deal-breaker for me too. You won't get to the truth. Nothing will ever be his fault. Is what he says about his employer definitely true, and do you know that for a fact? Getting keys cut without permission to premises you neither own nor lease sounds very risky to me. Criminal really. Could he have taken it upon himself to get the keys cut without telling anyone so that he could get the equipment? Was he caught and has been summarily dismissed for it, so is now trying to blame others for his twattery? I would wonder if that sounds more likely.

I have occasionally had workmen accidentally leave something behind when a job is finished. They just phone and ask about it, and arrange to come back and collect it. They have never had keys cut and just come to help themselves. That would surely be trespassing.

dronesdroppingzopiclone Wed 10-Apr-19 13:07:38

Get rid of him! He's a loser.

PeachesAndMayo Wed 10-Apr-19 13:14:40

Is he in a union? He could get unfair dismissal because of being asked to participate in something dodgy by superiors.

SpannerH Wed 10-Apr-19 13:27:32

People saying get rid of him.

You know nothing about this relationship apart from a few details in a full life of details. Stop trying to pursued people to give up on important things in life when you don't know the ins and outs!

dronesdroppingzopiclone Wed 10-Apr-19 13:30:28

Oh, please, Spanner, she said their relationship is 'a whole nother thread' and he's an unemployed dosser who blames everyone else for his issues. What's important is not wasting time with losers like this just so you can be in a relationship, not hanging on to some waster who's in and out of work.

PineapplePatty Wed 10-Apr-19 14:06:02

Sounds well dodgy to me

Pantsomime Wed 10-Apr-19 14:11:19

Not sure how a company can be dodgy but legit at same time. Short term he needs a job with a legit co, then you need to work out if you want to stay with him longer term- does he make your life better or worse?

PyongyangKipperbang Wed 10-Apr-19 14:20:10

Not sure how a company can be dodgy but legit at same time

Sports Direct?

A company can be legit on paper, but still have very dodgy practices. They may be unofficial company practice such as ignoring the working hours directive and creatively sacking anyone who questions it, or it could be a manager trying to improve their results by dodgy dealings such as the one the OP describes. Of course a company can be both.

bethy15 Wed 10-Apr-19 14:34:37

He's an awful person.

He threatens to take your child off of you if you ever leave him by claiming you're an unfit mother. He throws objects at you in a rage and he can't keep a job.

Seriously, why do you want this?

theWarOnPeace Wed 10-Apr-19 14:36:26

I would be extremely shocked about him cutting the keys for the boss in the first place. That being said, from your other thread he sounds like an immature loser, so maybe not that shocking.

PoppyD93x Wed 10-Apr-19 14:41:39

Its legit as in its an actual company. But they do do dodgy stuff from what i hear. Wouldn't suprise me if they end up on that cowboy builders programme. My partner isnt actually employed by them he sub contracts off of them so those who say about unfair dismissal it doesnt apply to him unfortunately.

I do agree with @SpannerH if im honest. I know you are all sticking up for me and trying to say what's best or what you would do but apart from being a hot head with his job which is a really stressful job often working away and working long hours hes a great dad and tries his hardest to please me (most of the time) no one's perfect. But i can see all of your point of views aswell

theWarOnPeace Wed 10-Apr-19 15:26:42

He’s not a great dad if he threatens to take your child away and is abusive. Nobody’s trying to upset you, but for your own good you need to face the way his behaviour affects not only you, but your children.

bethy15 Wed 10-Apr-19 16:24:56

He's doesn't really want the best for you from your other thread though. Also the threatening to stalk you and things.

He seems pretty toxic.

StarTheGirl Wed 10-Apr-19 16:40:35

Yikes, based on what posters are saying here about your other threads, he sounds just terrible op. Do you really want to stay with him?

StarTheGirl Wed 10-Apr-19 16:40:51

I haven’t seen your other threads btw.

PoppyD93x Wed 10-Apr-19 16:49:11

@starthegirl 90% of the time i want to. I know he sounds terrible but he has changed towards me since being on anti depressants.

New question!!
Aibu to leave him even tho hes changed like he promised he would?

StarTheGirl Wed 10-Apr-19 17:24:15

Oh gosh that’s so difficult op. Based on nothing but what I’ve read here, as I haven’t seen you’re other threads, I just don’t know if I could stay with a man who had threatened to take my children from me. But you know him and the whole situation better than I do and maybe it was his MH problems speaking. Not that it’s an excuse for that, but maybe you think he’s genuinely changed.

Hopefully someone more useful will come along soon flowers!

bethy15 Wed 10-Apr-19 17:51:27

Has he really changed though? I mean he's losing his temper again at work.

Are you treading on eggshells around him, hoping/wishing that his better mood will stay? What did he say when you said this wasn't on, him losing his job? What was his response to all of this?

Maybe you should do the freedom programme that is recommended on here.

PoppyD93x Wed 10-Apr-19 18:20:08

His response was to get annoyed and kick his toys out the pram because im not being supportive of him!!! Supportive of what?! Losing his job by doing something illegal then having an argument about it.

Oh and now he's gone down the shop for some beers. Great.

bethy15 Wed 10-Apr-19 18:33:58

So, where's the difference then?

He's getting annoyed at you, where's this improvement he's made?

PoppyD93x Wed 10-Apr-19 21:36:28

@bethy15 im not sure anymore

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