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Friend's husband on Tinder. WWYD?

(18 Posts)
4040vision Tue 09-Apr-19 12:11:48

NC for this one. But simply as the title states.

The wife isn't a close friend anymore. We used to work together and were pretty close back then, but she's a fair bit younger than me, had kids, quit the company we worked for and started to socialise with other young new mums etc, which is of course as you'd expect. No problem.

I still keep in light contact on FB with her and her husband, liking and commenting on posts, wishing each other happy birthday, occasional message etc. But not seen them propely for a couple of years as they moved.

She and husband been together at least 15 years both still show as "married" on FB, but not linked to each other's accounts (no idea if it's always been like this).

A few possible answers have popped into my head:

A. It's none of my business, keep my nose out.
B. If he's cheating, she should know.
C. Maybe they've quietly separated, hence back to answer A.
D. Could be a joke / fake Tinder account that the husband hasn't set up.

Anyway, just a WWYD?

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Tue 09-Apr-19 12:15:04

A. Always A.

>>>>>this is your clue >>>>> She and husband been together at least 15 years both still show as "married" on FB, but not linked to each other's accounts (no idea if it's always been like this).

They are probably separated, without fanfare.

Oopsy41 Tue 09-Apr-19 12:16:27

I wouldn't do anything, could be any of the above answers or something different but not your place to say anything. Think I would feel differently if she was still a close friend but you've no idea about their relationship so best not to get involved

Lllot5 Tue 09-Apr-19 12:16:38

I’d keep out of it in all honesty. If she was a close friend and you knew the status of her marriage maybe but I’d keep out of it.

ScreamingValenta Tue 09-Apr-19 12:16:51

It sounds as though she's more of an acquaintance than a friend nowadays. For that reason, A.

4040vision Tue 09-Apr-19 12:17:07

Thanks @PlainSpeakingStraightTalking that's my immediate thought if I'm honest.

He's not really the type you'd expect to be a player and to use his current FB photo on Tinder would be daft.

4040vision Tue 09-Apr-19 12:17:59

Thanks all. I was erring towards keeping my nose out.

CupcakeDrama Tue 09-Apr-19 12:43:16

I never get involved in these situations. I would stay well out of it.

TheTitOfTheIceberg Tue 09-Apr-19 12:51:49

I'll go against the grain and in your situation I would make her aware, purely because of the possibility that they are still together and I've read too many cheating husband threads in Relationships where the wife was the last to know and really struggled with that on top of everything else.

I'd do it in a way that acknowledged I might be way out of line, they may not even still be together, it might be all legit but that if it's not, I'd want to know.

InsertFunnyUsername Tue 09-Apr-19 12:59:10

If it was one of my closest friends i would take screenshots and send them on, even if they were to "sort things out" and i ended up being the bad guy.

But, It doesn't sound like you're as close anymore so unfortunately, I would say nothing!

Farmerswifey12 Tue 09-Apr-19 13:05:21

Might answer differently if a close friend but I this situation I would definately keep out of it

hellsbellsmelons Tue 09-Apr-19 13:06:09

I'd take a screen shot of his profile and send it to her.
She can then decide what to do from there.
Don't let her be the last to know.

Meangirls36 Tue 09-Apr-19 13:06:38

I think I have some dating profiles around haven't got round to deleting them. Keep your beak out.

4040vision Wed 10-Apr-19 09:55:21

@Meangirls36 Tinder wasn't invented when he was last single.

CupcakeDrama Wed 10-Apr-19 22:58:06

maybe he signed up during a break 🤷‍♀️ not your business really

Neverender Wed 10-Apr-19 23:09:30

I'd leave it to be honest. You don't know what you don't know.

NuclearReactor Wed 10-Apr-19 23:27:31

I would tell her.

There are two reasons he's on ;

1) Someone is cat fishing him in which case I'm sure he would want to know
2) He is having an affair which I'm sure she would want to know. (Unless of course they've split up)

I would say it to her. IMO it doesn't matter if you know her or not. I think any woman would want to know if their husband was looking elsewhere. Make sure you have screenshots to back it up and send a kind, concerned message. Then leave it.

DarthLipgloss Thu 11-Apr-19 22:35:23

Friend of mines husband is on it. A mutual friend told me..I couldn't tell her (the mutual friend) that he was almost certainly looking for partners for the both of them....

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