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to feel slightly insulted when house guests re-wash dishes before using?!

(105 Posts)
BayLeaves Tue 09-Apr-19 10:25:26

Not really a big deal but just been wondering how other people would feel about this.

I’ve had a friend and a family member (on separate occasions) insisting on re-washing kitchen items themselves at my house before using them. One wanted to wash up the already clean plate and cutlery they were going to eat from, the other wanted to rewash a wooden chopping board before preparing food on it. They both claimed it’s nothing personal, just “OCD”. I don’t think either of them actually suffer from OCD, but then again I’m not an expert.

Would you find this insulting? My kitchen is very clean and my plates etc are all very clean too, no greasy fingerprints or anything as we use a dishwasher. It felt like they just don’t trust my cleanliness?

DrSeuss Thu 11-Apr-19 09:47:36

My MIL spent a day in my house once while I was at work and informed me that she hadn't touched the food in the fridge that we had left for her as the packets were open and she didn't know how long they'd been open. Because, obviously, I would leave stale or potentially rotten food for a guest! Was quite offended at the implication.

Next time she visited, I placed unopened packs in the fridge with huge notices attached saying, "MIL's Super Special Definitely Not Dangerous Never Been Opened Food." She never commented!

e1y1 Wed 10-Apr-19 18:37:11

Tough one, it never seems not insulting but some people just have to - im one of them.

A dishwasher doesn't always mean the dishes are clean either, as an example we have a dishwasher and everything comes out sparkling and spotless, and I mean spotless that's because I'm obsessive about making sure it is reagualrly cleaned.

A certain other family member has nothing but issues with the way dishes come out of theirs, it's almost a running joke.

ConferencePear Wed 10-Apr-19 18:27:24

OP you say this is not really a big deal
it would be for me. They wouldn't be eating at my house again.

theconstantinoplegardener Wed 10-Apr-19 18:18:24

Thanks for the dishwasher cleaning tips, Shannon & Ferdinand! I'll try them out. I might have to try Mitzi's idea too, if I feel really brave.

FerdinandsMightyTesticles Wed 10-Apr-19 16:45:42

And the amount of people claiming to have OCD is ridiculous. Totally diminishes the reality of actually suffering from this illness
*This with bells on. Too many mentions of “a bit of OCD” or diagnosing others on this thread.
OCD is a debilitating condition, and doesn’t necessarily focus on cleanliness.*

Do you think it's unlikely that actual OCD sufferers wouldn't post on this thread? I also have OCD. As in I was diagnosed, by a doctor. I had the traditional door locky, weird counting, everything must be EVEN, Stop the washing machine the cat is definitely in there. Oh my god I'm going to get AIDS from this toilet seat type that then turned in to the quite upsetting intrusive thoughts type.

But If I had a friend who insisted on washing every dish she ate off before use, I would quietly ask her if she had ever spoken to anyone about it. That's not usual.

Mamaslave18 Wed 10-Apr-19 16:28:43

A friend of mine washes glasses by swishing them in water. No cloth or scrubby thing is used which means the glasses are all greasy and smeared when you come to use them. I always buy an individual bottle of coke when I go to hers so that I can decline a drink on the basis I have one to finish from earlier.

ShirleyPhallus Wed 10-Apr-19 16:16:37

My DP is rubbish at washing up; he basically waves the cloth over the items and I frequently have to re-wash.

Why the fuck do you let him get away with that?!

supersop60 Wed 10-Apr-19 16:13:16

My DP is rubbish at washing up; he basically waves the cloth over the items and I frequently have to re-wash. We have a dishwasher, but he gets impatient if stuff is piling up on the side.
So, it's possible, OP, that your things aren't quite as clean as you think they are. If I'm wrong, then your guests are very rude.

Smellslikemiddleagespirit Wed 10-Apr-19 16:04:41

And the amount of people claiming to have OCD is ridiculous. Totally diminishes the reality of actually suffering from this illness

This with bells on. Too many mentions of “a bit of OCD” or diagnosing others on this thread.
OCD is a debilitating condition, and doesn’t necessarily focus on cleanliness.

Aethelthryth Wed 10-Apr-19 15:55:00

Unbelievably rude, no matter how filthy the plates etc..

Littleraindrop15 Wed 10-Apr-19 15:48:10

I do this in my own home regardless whether they are clean. It's now become a habit I don't do cutlery just plates and glasses.

As of restaurant I wipe them down with a tissue if possible if not then life goes on.

KellyMarieTunstall2 Wed 10-Apr-19 15:48:06

I have a friend who does this. I've watched her rinsing plates and cutlery. She's also told her children to wash their hands before they leave my house. My house is clean. I used to ignore it as it's OCD, but I can't help finding it very rude so I don't invite her round anymore.

MitziK Wed 10-Apr-19 15:46:44

The pondwater smell is the pipe the other side of the filter/drain getting clogged up. Most people have their dishwasher connected to the sink outflow as well.

The way to deal with it is;

Get buckets, cloths, rubber gloves and a wire coathanger and a peg for your nose

Undo the dishwasher pipe where it connects to the sink outlet. Point it down into the bucket. Empty the DW (usually pressing and holding the start button). Clear any gunk out you can reach with the coathanger. Take the filter out, clean it over another sink (as the kitchen one is currently open), reach into the depths and see if you can feel any bits of food/slime that has collected. Slosh a bucket of hot water in, press drain and see what evil emerges into the bucket under the pipe. Clean the spray arms with a cocktail stick and rinse to ensure there is no slimy black gunk blocking them.

Clean the sink trap and as far down the outlet as possible. Put it all back together. Run a hot cycle with a dishwasher cleaner, fill the sink with boiling water, soap and a bit of bleach/disinfectant and all should be sweet smelling again.

FerdinandsMightyTesticles Wed 10-Apr-19 15:43:18

@theconstantinoplegardener if you take a large dishwasher safe jug and fill it with white vinegar then stick in the bottom of your Empty dishwasher it fills with water as the machine runs and cleans it really well.

FerdinandsMightyTesticles Wed 10-Apr-19 15:41:26

If they only do it at your house it's an insult, if they do it everywhere, they may well have OCD and not their fault.

If 2 people did it at my house I'd question if my dishes were as clean as I thought they were.

MitziK Wed 10-Apr-19 15:37:56

I do this at home.

DP learned from his mother that letting the water run until it got hot was a waste of money. My mother was no better, as she believed dunking them in soapy water and putting them straight onto the drainer (and keeping them there) was quite enough.

I', however, know that you use very hot water, a small squirt of liquid, start with the cleanest things and work your way from those to the greasy things at the end, using some form of scrubbing implement, changing the water frequently, rinsing everything AND cleaning the sink and bowl afterwards.

I'm not going to absolve DP of responsibility for washing up as he obviously needs the practice, but that doesn't mean I'm going to carefully ignore the essence of Fairy in a cuppa or crusty marks in the tines of a fork out of politeness. I really miss having a dishwasher.

Blibbyblobby Wed 10-Apr-19 14:57:11


The nasty pond smell might be from eggs.

I am really sensitive to plates that have had egg on and then been washed and it is exactly that stagnant water smell. I can smell it even walking past plates on the drying rack or opening the cupboard. It's not old rotten eggs, it's a totally different smell, not even eggy.

I get it whether they are hand washed or dishwasher washed,.and it's anything that has eggs including cake batter. Eggy dirty dishes are fine. Actual eggy foods are fine too (except meringues for some reason) so it's something that happens in the washing process.

It took ages to work it out. At first we thought it was something wrong with the dishwasher so we were constantly cleaning it. Now we always wash eggy stuff by hand in a separate wash, first soaked in hot water with a drop or two of bleach and then scrubbed twice. Even then I often still smell it and have to rewash the plates.

I am certainly not a super clean house person, usually much closer to the "cut the mould off" end of the scale. It is just this one smell I am super-sensitive to.

I notice it quite often eating out as well sad luckily less often eating at friends, I think because people don't eat eggs every day but restaurants usually have a few egg dishes.

Sorry for the essay and thread hijack! But it took so long to get to the bottom of the mystery smell so I hope it helps anyone in the same boat

ShannonRockallMalin Wed 10-Apr-19 11:00:25

@theconstantinoplegardener you can buy dishwasher cleaner in a small plastic bottle that you put in the rack upside down and run the cycle. I also take the filter and other detachable parts out once a month and scrub them to get all the food residue off.

dangerrabbit Wed 10-Apr-19 11:00:03

Never, that’s really rude and insulting.

Mememeplease Wed 10-Apr-19 10:56:50

I have been known to re wash things in holiday cottages and I know some dishwashers aren't great. But normally? What a waste of water to be continually rinsing.

theconstantinoplegardener Wed 10-Apr-19 10:45:16

Sorry to hijack your thread, OP!

theconstantinoplegardener Wed 10-Apr-19 10:44:39

This thread has been a revelation for me. I do rinse everything after washing up in the sink (and clean my sink daily), but it's never occurred to me to clean the dishwasher. My dishwasher is old and I have lost the instruction do you clean a dishwasher? I assume it must be empty and on its hottest cycle, but do you put normal dishwasher powder in or something else? And is a full cycle necessary or can you do a quick cycle? Please advise me - I think this is something that I need to do!

LL83 Wed 10-Apr-19 10:09:51

Either it is dirty or it is them not you. I wouldn't get worked up or offended about it.

ShannonRockallMalin Wed 10-Apr-19 10:07:51

I wouldn't do this in an obvious way at a friend's or family member's house as I wouldn't want to offend them, but I do have one or two friends at whose houses I would discreetly rinse a cup or glass before using it. I'd never say anything to them though!
I always rewash cups etc at work, or if I'm on holiday in a cottage or whatever. I even rewash things at home sometimes because DH is really crap at washing up. I always scrutinise glasses and plates if I'm eating out. I can't help being like this, I just can't eat or drink from something if I feel like it might not be perfectly clean. Just a psychological thing I guess.

PocaMiseria Wed 10-Apr-19 09:44:33

I might clean a chopping board if it felt sticky, or I was going to chop raw meat or poultry on it... but I'd probably do the same at home anyway. I'd rather not poison a whole family.....

Here's an appropriate funny story to lighten the tone. (Or make you feel really grossed out).

Little boy visiting his grandad who lives in a shack in the back of beyond... dinner plates are a bit yucky so the lad says "are these clean, Grandpapa?" and grandad replies "they're as clean as cold water can get 'em" so the boy shuts up and eats.
When the meal is finished grandad gets up form the table, picks up the plates and opens the back door yelling "Cold Water!" and up bounds an enormous dog. envy not envy.

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