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to feel slightly insulted when house guests re-wash dishes before using?!

(105 Posts)
BayLeaves Tue 09-Apr-19 10:25:26

Not really a big deal but just been wondering how other people would feel about this.

I’ve had a friend and a family member (on separate occasions) insisting on re-washing kitchen items themselves at my house before using them. One wanted to wash up the already clean plate and cutlery they were going to eat from, the other wanted to rewash a wooden chopping board before preparing food on it. They both claimed it’s nothing personal, just “OCD”. I don’t think either of them actually suffer from OCD, but then again I’m not an expert.

Would you find this insulting? My kitchen is very clean and my plates etc are all very clean too, no greasy fingerprints or anything as we use a dishwasher. It felt like they just don’t trust my cleanliness?

Deadringer Tue 09-Apr-19 12:12:26

I always rinse cups and glasses before i use them as i think the dishwasher leaves a residue on them, but I wouldn't do it in someone else's house. I think it's quite rude.

ShirleyPhallus Tue 09-Apr-19 12:12:30

They too had a dishwasher but they never rinsed anything before it went in

You shouldn’t rinse plates before they go in the dishwasher. What a waste of water!

Cantthinkofanythingrightnow Tue 09-Apr-19 12:22:42

I have OCD (which is under control these days, it becomes more of a problem if I'm stressed) and have to wash every plate/chopping board/pan etc before I use it. I do this in my own home despite having already washed them and knowing they're clean. It's very common for people with OCD. Please dont make a big deal out of it you'll be adding to your friends anxiety.

Flaverings Tue 09-Apr-19 12:38:05

This thread has made me give the dw a deep clean!

If visitors did this to me I’d be worried about my level of cleanliness.

ourkidmolly Tue 09-Apr-19 12:59:43

And the amount of people claiming to have OCD is ridiculous. Totally diminishes the reality of actually suffering from this illness.

Toddlerteaplease Tue 09-Apr-19 15:16:35

My parents do this. My house isn't dirty.

CottonSock Tue 09-Apr-19 15:20:17

@LucyAutumn my dishwasher was doing this and I spent yonks trying to fix it to no avail. Water was ponding in it and eventually it broke down to my relief and I could buy a new one. It wasn't even old.

MariaNovella Tue 09-Apr-19 15:22:43

I would take this as a sign that my house wasn’t clean.

AhhhHereItGoes Tue 09-Apr-19 15:24:19

I do it, as don't know how long ago it was last washed.

If it's still on the dryer then obviously no need.

NoFancyUserName Tue 09-Apr-19 15:25:26

Yes I'd be insulted, because my house is super clean. I spent a lot of time cleaning my home.

But if I knew I was a bit lax with house work then I would suck it up I guess. I'd prob be more embarrassed than insulted

GarthFunkel Tue 09-Apr-19 15:33:37

I do this at my brother's house who, although he has a dishwasher, has never ever ever put any salt or rinse aid in it, nor cleaned it out or emptied the filter, or put it on a very hot wash or rinsed anything before it went in it. He also uses the cheapest of cheap dishwasher tablets. As a consequence every thing that's ever been anywhere near it is covered in gritty shrapnel.

He also "washes up" things which should really go in the dishwasher, like pans. They get put in cold water, occasionally they see a small bit of fairy liquid but never any heat or a clean scrubbing brush, and never rinsed afterwards.

So yeah, I wash up there.

Jandapanda Tue 09-Apr-19 15:46:14

I sometimes rinse or even wash my own dishes after it's been through the dishwasher as I don't like the residue and smell (artificial washing up liquid smell) from the dishwasher. We look after our dishwasher, it is always clean, with salt and rinse aid etc. but I just don't like the residue that dishwashers leave. I think it's a bit of ocd and not a personal thing regarding your situation

ginghamtablecloths Tue 09-Apr-19 15:48:15

I would be bemused but what is their reasoning? One friend likes her dishes to be rinsed absolutely clear as she feels she can taste the washing up liquid otherwise.
I used to wash things at MIL's as they were greasy and dirty due to her dementia. This had to be done discreetly or she'd explode. Then I simply stopped eating there.

Petalflowers Tue 09-Apr-19 15:53:50

I think it’s rude.

BloodyDisgrace Tue 09-Apr-19 15:56:48

We have a dishwasher. No one ever did this at our house but if it happened AND they explained by OCD, I'd ignore it. whatever makes them happy. If I noticed the plate not being clean I'd be rather embarrassed but still, won't die of shame.

I do have a thing about wine glasses though and if I had a quid each time for each glass I had to return to the bar saying "do you mind giving me a clean one, there is some lipstick still here?" I'd be a millionaire. I did suffer at friend's house because I just feared to upset them too much by asking the same.

MIA12 Tue 09-Apr-19 15:56:50

And the amount of people claiming to have OCD is ridiculous. Totally diminishes the reality of actually suffering from this illness.

Hear hear. The D stands for Disorder people, it isn’t just a particular personality quirk hmm

BloodyDisgrace Tue 09-Apr-19 16:00:47

Also: people in this country don't fucking rinse the washing liquid off properly when they do it by hand!!! I've seen foam on fresh clean drying plates ffs. They just "mop it up with a towel". That gave me inner rage for quite a while but, thankfully, the instances of going to someone's place for dinner are not that frequent. it's more likely to be an outing to a restaurant when we meet friends.

Treaclepie19 Tue 09-Apr-19 16:04:39

Agreed. I suffer with OCD and the thought that it's something to aspire to or giggle about is shocking.

TildaKauskumholm Tue 09-Apr-19 16:07:16

Do you have pets? It might be just a general hygiene thing. If I went to a house and there was a dog/cat/hamster (let's face it - not much difference to having a rat - roaming about I might feel the same.

EvaHarknessRose Tue 09-Apr-19 16:08:23

I think there is an ick factor when at someone else’s house, I doubt its personal, just evolutionary maybe.

RabbityMcRabbit Tue 09-Apr-19 16:11:11

* I think it's a bit of ocd*
There's no such thing as "a bit of OCD."

Masai71 Tue 09-Apr-19 16:13:23

My English DH and his family wash up with a washing up bowl full of greasy hot water for all the dishes and then let the suds drain off on the's beyond revolting to me. Akin to wallowing in a bath if covered in crap and using murky water to get clean. It ain't hapening!

It makes me retch and I wash up after him everytime I use anything.The DCs wash up before using anything too as they can tell when Mum or Dad has done the washing up.

IncrediblySadToo Tue 09-Apr-19 16:17:35

I won’t actually wash it unless it’s visibly dirty, but I hate the dishwasher detergent taste. Whatever’s in it leaves a residue and I can taste it. Same if people don’t rinse hand washed dishes, especially glasses & mugs. I really don’t know how other people don’t notice it. Restaurants aren’t as bad as their dishwashers seem to have a better rinse cycle.

flameycakes Tue 09-Apr-19 17:07:17

I do it with cups and glasses, think it's a remnant of my upbringing, my mum insisted on it and would go on about suds not being washed out all the time x

scarbados Tue 09-Apr-19 19:10:20

Here's the predicted 'jumping in' - I always washed anything I was going to eat or drink with or from when I visited MIL and got a glass of water before lunch. As I ran water into the glass, it foamed with washing up liquid residue.

I wouldn't do it in anyone else's house though.

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