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to feel slightly insulted when house guests re-wash dishes before using?!

(105 Posts)
BayLeaves Tue 09-Apr-19 10:25:26

Not really a big deal but just been wondering how other people would feel about this.

I’ve had a friend and a family member (on separate occasions) insisting on re-washing kitchen items themselves at my house before using them. One wanted to wash up the already clean plate and cutlery they were going to eat from, the other wanted to rewash a wooden chopping board before preparing food on it. They both claimed it’s nothing personal, just “OCD”. I don’t think either of them actually suffer from OCD, but then again I’m not an expert.

Would you find this insulting? My kitchen is very clean and my plates etc are all very clean too, no greasy fingerprints or anything as we use a dishwasher. It felt like they just don’t trust my cleanliness?

StealthPolarBear Tue 09-Apr-19 10:28:55

Yanbu very insulting

birdlover1977 Tue 09-Apr-19 10:29:41

My son with ASD does this all the time. It’s nothing personal, he just likes to makes sure the plate is clean.

Comefromaway Tue 09-Apr-19 10:29:55

I don't like the film that dishwashers leave on lots of crockery.

ZeroFuchsGiven Tue 09-Apr-19 10:31:33

I have never had this happen and if I did I really would be questioning how clean I perceived my house to be and how clean others seen it.

ShirleyPhallus Tue 09-Apr-19 10:32:32

I always rinse glasses before using them as the rims are often dusty and the dishwasher leaves film on them

ThisIsNotMyRealName1 Tue 09-Apr-19 10:51:41

That's a tough one. I've just spent six months living in a house where I had to pretty much wash everything before I used it. They too had a dishwasher but they never rinsed anything before it went it so it was more of a waste master that didn't work particularly well and some stuff came out no cleaner than it went, plus the dw smelt horrible. I'm definitely not ocd but also don't fancy eating off of plates etc with baked on food scraps.

LucyAutumn Tue 09-Apr-19 10:59:24

Do you have a dishwasher? If so do you make sure you put it through a clean cycle every now and again? I have a family member who, when we've been round to eat, has crockery that smells a bit off (like pond water my DH says). As they use a dishwasher we can only put it down to them not cleaning/ rinsing the dishwasher through enough. It really does pong to us, but the family member just doesn't seem to notice at all.

phoenixrosehere Tue 09-Apr-19 11:09:59

I’ve done this but it’s more of something that has been ingrained vs trying to be offensive. I only keep it to items I’m about to use vs things that have already been set out where if I see it I pick another utensil.

My hub washes dishes but doesn’t rinse as does his mum. They leave them covered in soap so the soap not only dries on them but anything that was missed is covered by it and it isn’t seen until it is picked up and used. Also, doesn’t rinse or scrape heavy food particles off dishes before popping them in the dishwasher either. If I didn’t go back and do it I can’t imagine what the dishwasher would smell like since the trap would eventually get clogged and I am definitely not going to be the one to clean that! The amount of dishes I had to rewash at home due to my husband’s washing because there was food still encrusted on it is ridiculous and wastes more water than if he had bothered to give them a quick rinse.

My parents were very strict when it came to dishwashing. If there was a spot or a speck of food on after I’ve washed them I’d have to wash every item again while being berated about food poisoning.

Yellowcar2 Tue 09-Apr-19 11:11:15

Are they 'ocd' about eating in restaurants or other people's homes? If so I would say it's just them. If not I'd be insulted.

BlueMerchant Tue 09-Apr-19 11:15:39

It's very rude of them. I wouldn't do it and if someone did it at my house I would be extremely offended.
I however don't like dishwasher's as people tend not to clean them and they can leave a funny smell on crockery.Id never wash them though in someone's home.

Comefromaway Tue 09-Apr-19 11:15:53

I regularly sent cutlerry back in restaurants!

teyem Tue 09-Apr-19 11:20:23

I rewash dishes and cutlery for my ds who has coeliacs. I see crumbs, and crumby fingers, crumby worksurfaces and crumby cutlery drawers everywhere I would have called clean before. grin

WhatNow40 Tue 09-Apr-19 11:21:09

I do this but only at my mums house. Her dishes and utensils are really dirty though. She seems oblivious. I picked up the fish slice from the utensil pot and it had grease and crumbs on, like she used it then put it back. I washed it, used it and left it with the dirty dishes. Next day, same again. She put it back dirty rather than put it in the dishwasher. Who does that?! confused I hate going to stay but leave to far away to be able to do a visit in one day.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Tue 09-Apr-19 11:22:54

I’ve had a friend and a family member (on separate occasions) insisting on re-washing kitchen items themselves at my house before using them.

Two, unconnected people ?

BlackSatinDancer Tue 09-Apr-19 11:23:50

If it was only one person I would consider it an OCD thing if they said that but two separate people? I would at least consider whether they are being kind by not telling me that the crockery wasn't as clean as it could be. Is your eyesight ok?

If you are sure it is perfectly clean then assume they are correct and do have OCD and try not to take offence.

onalongsabbatical Tue 09-Apr-19 11:30:42

Yes, two separate people seems more like it might be actually that there's something about your washing up that needs looking at, OP. Could you get another objective opinion from someone? A friend who'll be honest with you?

BaronessBomburst Tue 09-Apr-19 11:35:42

I rinse plates and glasses in my own house if they've not be used regularly. And I always re-wash the Christmas stuff/ serving plates/ garden set as they only get used at certain times of the year and then left in the cupboards for months.
I wouldn't take offence.

ourkidmolly Tue 09-Apr-19 11:42:13

Incredibly rude to do this as a guest. No defence.

onlyk Tue 09-Apr-19 11:42:36

I tend to rewash wine glasses even in my own home. Probably as they don’t get used much and I think they’re dusty.

ourkidmolly Tue 09-Apr-19 11:42:53

No doubt some poster will jump in with some crazy extenuating circumstances though.

AfterSchoolWorry Tue 09-Apr-19 11:44:24

I get the heebie jeebies from hand washed dishes tbh.

I wouldn't wash them but I'd be slightly aware, especially cups.

StealthPolarBear Tue 09-Apr-19 11:48:35

Do you not eat in restaurants?

whitesoxx Tue 09-Apr-19 11:52:40

If you have a dishwasher the crockery might smell. And it leaves a grimy film in some cases.

I never rewash as it's rude but am often tempted at dishwasher houses

shakenfizzydrink Tue 09-Apr-19 12:08:52

Is your dishwasher clean? Do you use rinse aid?

Deadringer Tue 09-Apr-19 12:12:26

I always rinse cups and glasses before i use them as i think the dishwasher leaves a residue on them, but I wouldn't do it in someone else's house. I think it's quite rude.

ShirleyPhallus Tue 09-Apr-19 12:12:30

They too had a dishwasher but they never rinsed anything before it went in

You shouldn’t rinse plates before they go in the dishwasher. What a waste of water!

Cantthinkofanythingrightnow Tue 09-Apr-19 12:22:42

I have OCD (which is under control these days, it becomes more of a problem if I'm stressed) and have to wash every plate/chopping board/pan etc before I use it. I do this in my own home despite having already washed them and knowing they're clean. It's very common for people with OCD. Please dont make a big deal out of it you'll be adding to your friends anxiety.

Flaverings Tue 09-Apr-19 12:38:05

This thread has made me give the dw a deep clean!

If visitors did this to me I’d be worried about my level of cleanliness.

ourkidmolly Tue 09-Apr-19 12:59:43

And the amount of people claiming to have OCD is ridiculous. Totally diminishes the reality of actually suffering from this illness.

Toddlerteaplease Tue 09-Apr-19 15:16:35

My parents do this. My house isn't dirty.

CottonSock Tue 09-Apr-19 15:20:17

@LucyAutumn my dishwasher was doing this and I spent yonks trying to fix it to no avail. Water was ponding in it and eventually it broke down to my relief and I could buy a new one. It wasn't even old.

MariaNovella Tue 09-Apr-19 15:22:43

I would take this as a sign that my house wasn’t clean.

AhhhHereItGoes Tue 09-Apr-19 15:24:19

I do it, as don't know how long ago it was last washed.

If it's still on the dryer then obviously no need.

NoFancyUserName Tue 09-Apr-19 15:25:26

Yes I'd be insulted, because my house is super clean. I spent a lot of time cleaning my home.

But if I knew I was a bit lax with house work then I would suck it up I guess. I'd prob be more embarrassed than insulted

GarthFunkel Tue 09-Apr-19 15:33:37

I do this at my brother's house who, although he has a dishwasher, has never ever ever put any salt or rinse aid in it, nor cleaned it out or emptied the filter, or put it on a very hot wash or rinsed anything before it went in it. He also uses the cheapest of cheap dishwasher tablets. As a consequence every thing that's ever been anywhere near it is covered in gritty shrapnel.

He also "washes up" things which should really go in the dishwasher, like pans. They get put in cold water, occasionally they see a small bit of fairy liquid but never any heat or a clean scrubbing brush, and never rinsed afterwards.

So yeah, I wash up there.

Jandapanda Tue 09-Apr-19 15:46:14

I sometimes rinse or even wash my own dishes after it's been through the dishwasher as I don't like the residue and smell (artificial washing up liquid smell) from the dishwasher. We look after our dishwasher, it is always clean, with salt and rinse aid etc. but I just don't like the residue that dishwashers leave. I think it's a bit of ocd and not a personal thing regarding your situation

ginghamtablecloths Tue 09-Apr-19 15:48:15

I would be bemused but what is their reasoning? One friend likes her dishes to be rinsed absolutely clear as she feels she can taste the washing up liquid otherwise.
I used to wash things at MIL's as they were greasy and dirty due to her dementia. This had to be done discreetly or she'd explode. Then I simply stopped eating there.

Petalflowers Tue 09-Apr-19 15:53:50

I think it’s rude.

BloodyDisgrace Tue 09-Apr-19 15:56:48

We have a dishwasher. No one ever did this at our house but if it happened AND they explained by OCD, I'd ignore it. whatever makes them happy. If I noticed the plate not being clean I'd be rather embarrassed but still, won't die of shame.

I do have a thing about wine glasses though and if I had a quid each time for each glass I had to return to the bar saying "do you mind giving me a clean one, there is some lipstick still here?" I'd be a millionaire. I did suffer at friend's house because I just feared to upset them too much by asking the same.

MIA12 Tue 09-Apr-19 15:56:50

And the amount of people claiming to have OCD is ridiculous. Totally diminishes the reality of actually suffering from this illness.

Hear hear. The D stands for Disorder people, it isn’t just a particular personality quirk hmm

BloodyDisgrace Tue 09-Apr-19 16:00:47

Also: people in this country don't fucking rinse the washing liquid off properly when they do it by hand!!! I've seen foam on fresh clean drying plates ffs. They just "mop it up with a towel". That gave me inner rage for quite a while but, thankfully, the instances of going to someone's place for dinner are not that frequent. it's more likely to be an outing to a restaurant when we meet friends.

Treaclepie19 Tue 09-Apr-19 16:04:39

ourkidmolly
Agreed. I suffer with OCD and the thought that it's something to aspire to or giggle about is shocking.

TildaKauskumholm Tue 09-Apr-19 16:07:16

Do you have pets? It might be just a general hygiene thing. If I went to a house and there was a dog/cat/hamster (let's face it - not much difference to having a rat - roaming about I might feel the same.

EvaHarknessRose Tue 09-Apr-19 16:08:23

I think there is an ick factor when at someone else’s house, I doubt its personal, just evolutionary maybe.

RabbityMcRabbit Tue 09-Apr-19 16:11:11

* I think it's a bit of ocd*
There's no such thing as "a bit of OCD."

Masai71 Tue 09-Apr-19 16:13:23

My English DH and his family wash up with a washing up bowl full of greasy hot water for all the dishes and then let the suds drain off on the side..it's beyond revolting to me. Akin to wallowing in a bath if covered in crap and using murky water to get clean. It ain't hapening!

It makes me retch and I wash up after him everytime I use anything.The DCs wash up before using anything too as they can tell when Mum or Dad has done the washing up.

IncrediblySadToo Tue 09-Apr-19 16:17:35

I won’t actually wash it unless it’s visibly dirty, but I hate the dishwasher detergent taste. Whatever’s in it leaves a residue and I can taste it. Same if people don’t rinse hand washed dishes, especially glasses & mugs. I really don’t know how other people don’t notice it. Restaurants aren’t as bad as their dishwashers seem to have a better rinse cycle.

flameycakes Tue 09-Apr-19 17:07:17

I do it with cups and glasses, think it's a remnant of my upbringing, my mum insisted on it and would go on about suds not being washed out all the time x

scarbados Tue 09-Apr-19 19:10:20

Here's the predicted 'jumping in' - I always washed anything I was going to eat or drink with or from when I visited MIL and got a glass of water before lunch. As I ran water into the glass, it foamed with washing up liquid residue.

I wouldn't do it in anyone else's house though.

Loopytiles Tue 09-Apr-19 19:11:59

Rude.

AmIIntrouble Tue 09-Apr-19 19:37:24

Do they do the same at the restaurant? If not OCD then definitely rude! Or may be they have some odd OCD like my mum.

I have yet to meet or heard anyone behave like my mum, my family make lovely homemade food but my mum can not eat any of it! She love cooking, she will eat her own cooking, anyone else's cooking as well as cheap greasy low quality rubbish from takeaway or supermarkets. She simply can not eat homemade food from her own family. Weird eh?

Maggiemoothecoo Tue 09-Apr-19 19:44:15

Family members let the dog eat of the plates and I've witnessed them scrapping dog spew of the floor with a knife... I don't like eating there... washing up is done with like warm water.

LividLaughLove Tue 09-Apr-19 19:45:20

All those people saying its rude, would you actually prefer to eat off dirty/sudsy/gritty stuff than fake a reason to give stuff a rinse?

If it happened once, OP, you could chalk it up to a weirdness. More than once, and your pots are dirty and you don't know it.

MikeUniformMike Tue 09-Apr-19 19:49:23

Have you posted without a NC that you wash your toilet brush in the dishwasher?

BloodyDisgrace Tue 09-Apr-19 19:58:35

I think in real life, outside of MN, no guest would dare get up and wash their plate. And even if they did, a host would be like "what the fuck do you think you are doing?" and never invite them again.
I can't imagine people who have dirty plates and pans are the type who likes to entertain at home. I'd think they are so dirty because they are so tired, or poor, or stressed, have too many problems - i.e. not in the mindset to have dinner parties at theirs.

Gwenhwyfar Wed 10-Apr-19 07:09:27

Do you rinse your dishes after washing them? So many British people don't that it makes sense for a guest to rinse them again otherwise they're eating detergent.

ShabbyAbby Wed 10-Apr-19 07:23:00

I rinse things before I use them. In my own home, too. I wipe my cutlery clean when eating out, too.

longwayoff Wed 10-Apr-19 07:33:00

I've had to stop reading, is making me feel queasy. I've never done as OP describes but if I had to, I would, rude or not. Obviously I would be making feeble excuses or just saying no thanks, already eaten.

NaturalBornWoman Wed 10-Apr-19 07:34:23

I think in real life, outside of MN, no guest would dare get up and wash their plate. And even if they did, a host would be like "what the fuck do you think you are doing?" and never invite them again.

What you actually think that in real life a relative or friend who noticed their plate was dirty wouldn't say 'oh dear there's something on this plate, I'll just give it a quick rinse'? You think they'd carry on and eat off a dirty plate? And that they should?

maeb Wed 10-Apr-19 07:59:49

My OH does this when we visit certain members of his family! TBF they do have erm...'different standards of cleanliness'...(think cat litter tray full of shite on the kitchen table while you're sitting around it).

Do you have pets? Pet hairs can get everywhere (as can pets...looking at you cats!)

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha Wed 10-Apr-19 08:07:36

I would be mortified and rush to check all my crockery to see what had made them do it!

However I have never, ever seen anyone do this. And I think if you did it in an Irish house you would never be forgiven for your rudeness in implying their housekeeping was poor.

I am still getting over the time my friend's husband commented on some tiny particles of limescale that escaped the kettle filter and polluted his cup of tea. The shame.

maeb Wed 10-Apr-19 08:16:22

Amintrouble My dad would not eat anyone's food except immediate family. Even cousins.

I'm okay as long I know the person and know they're clean!!! I'm not comfortable eating food someone brings in to work though.

ittakes2 Wed 10-Apr-19 08:26:52

I officially have OCD and I have had lots of CBT for it and it would never occur for me to to do this as this would just be rude. Everyone who has OCD has different symptoms though. I'm sorry I think they have both seen something about your dish washing habits they don't like. Do you hand wash and and not rinse?

RosemarysBush Wed 10-Apr-19 08:31:18

Chopping boards can be particularly notorious for harbouring germs. Maybe the person has had food poisoning in the past and linked it to a chopping board? Also do you have cats who might walk across things?

Tiredtessy Wed 10-Apr-19 08:34:00

I am certainly so super tidy person but washing up in a bowl of dirty water repulses me and I would want to re wash before using something if I new people did that and not rinsing the bubbles off is bizarre to!

I have a couple of friends where I’ve discreetly washed something up as there has been bits on the glass from the dishwasher or maybe washed up in a bowl and it’s horrible when you’ve drank half a glass of something and see some left over food stuck to it and these friends houses appear spotless and they claim themselves they have spotless houses!

Tiredtessy Wed 10-Apr-19 08:35:07

I am certainly not a super tidy person that should read!

ASundayWellSpent Wed 10-Apr-19 08:39:41

I would never ever do this in someones house, but I also don't like the way dishes come out of the dishwasher, sorry!

bullyingadvice2017 Wed 10-Apr-19 08:40:56

My friend does this. She has serious mh issues. So has a passout, Any one else would get told to fuck off.

DizzyPhillips Wed 10-Apr-19 08:42:54

Wish I had the guts to do this at my in-laws house. They met the dog lick the plates before they put them in the dishwasher shudder

woollyheart Wed 10-Apr-19 08:47:09

A lot of people don't rinse plates after washing them in water with detergent. I have noticed that people from some other countries find this abhorrent and have to rinse the detergent off.

If you use a dishwasher, sometimes they leave a salty residue. I have to sometimes rinse this off.

Could be one of these reasons. Or maybe your eyesight is worse than you know?

peridito Wed 10-Apr-19 08:47:49

Well that's put paid to my idea that a dishwasher - what a lot of work they sound - would solve the problem of my partner's appalling washing up .

TapasForTwo Wed 10-Apr-19 08:48:22

Prompted by this thread I am currently running a dishwasher service clean. We scrape food off plates and rinse them before putting them in the dishwasher anyway.

PastaOfMuppets Wed 10-Apr-19 08:48:37

Plenty of people think their kitchenware is perfectly clean when it isn't. OP might be one such person.

woollyheart Wed 10-Apr-19 08:50:38

@DizzyPhillips

I think a dishwasher will clean plates well enough after a dog has licked it. You just don't like the dog.

DizzyPhillips Wed 10-Apr-19 08:52:14

grin bonkers. That must be it.

maeb Wed 10-Apr-19 08:55:15

I officially have OCD too and even though I have it under control I can focus in on hygiene and food. I'm more forgiving the closer I feel to the person, but can get quite fixated on people eating on public transport, for instance.

I think PPs suggestions about rinsing the dishes more and/or giving the dishwasher a clean maybe an idea.

Bringbackthestripes Wed 10-Apr-19 09:03:14

I actually have diagnosed OCD and I do not do this. There are people’s houses that I would politely decline the offer of food and drink in though.
However if they are actually eating and drinking at your house then maybe they do just have an odd quirk re dishes confused surely if they were actually OCD and thought you were dirty they wouldn’t want to eat food you had made?

DizzyPhillips after staying at BIL and they were cooking a full on breakfast and pulled clean plates out of the dishwasher to serve up. I was horrified when they then pulled the dog bowls out of the dishwasher and gave the dog breakfast. I have declined to stay ever again. Washing dog dishes with human dishes makes me shudder, dogs licking plates in gross!

nb: I am aware dishwashers wash very hot but, as I said, I do have OCD so I find it very wrong.

skybluee Wed 10-Apr-19 09:15:40

This wouldn't bother me at all. I'd be glad that they felt able to tell me and speak out. My plates are spotless but for some people that doesn't matter, I guess they need to witness it themselves that its been cleaned and if it helps them I'd be OK with it.

I also would ask them if they wanted to do the rest of the washing up :P

flirtygirl Wed 10-Apr-19 09:26:09

I do this even at my mum's. To be fair I do it at my home too as things get dusty.

Also I wouldn't eat at most people as they put things that shouldn't go in the dishwashers and too many do not rinse plates when washing up which is truly gross.

I will carry on doing it. Sorry dome thing it's rude but it's not. Everyone is different and everyone has different standards.

PocaMiseria Wed 10-Apr-19 09:44:33

I might clean a chopping board if it felt sticky, or I was going to chop raw meat or poultry on it... but I'd probably do the same at home anyway. I'd rather not poison a whole family.....

Here's an appropriate funny story to lighten the tone. (Or make you feel really grossed out).

Little boy visiting his grandad who lives in a shack in the back of beyond... dinner plates are a bit yucky so the lad says "are these clean, Grandpapa?" and grandad replies "they're as clean as cold water can get 'em" so the boy shuts up and eats.
When the meal is finished grandad gets up form the table, picks up the plates and opens the back door yelling "Cold Water!" and up bounds an enormous dog. envy not envy.

ShannonRockallMalin Wed 10-Apr-19 10:07:51

I wouldn't do this in an obvious way at a friend's or family member's house as I wouldn't want to offend them, but I do have one or two friends at whose houses I would discreetly rinse a cup or glass before using it. I'd never say anything to them though!
I always rewash cups etc at work, or if I'm on holiday in a cottage or whatever. I even rewash things at home sometimes because DH is really crap at washing up. I always scrutinise glasses and plates if I'm eating out. I can't help being like this, I just can't eat or drink from something if I feel like it might not be perfectly clean. Just a psychological thing I guess.

LL83 Wed 10-Apr-19 10:09:51

Either it is dirty or it is them not you. I wouldn't get worked up or offended about it.

theconstantinoplegardener Wed 10-Apr-19 10:44:39

This thread has been a revelation for me. I do rinse everything after washing up in the sink (and clean my sink daily), but it's never occurred to me to clean the dishwasher. My dishwasher is old and I have lost the instruction manual....how do you clean a dishwasher? I assume it must be empty and on its hottest cycle, but do you put normal dishwasher powder in or something else? And is a full cycle necessary or can you do a quick cycle? Please advise me - I think this is something that I need to do!

theconstantinoplegardener Wed 10-Apr-19 10:45:16

Sorry to hijack your thread, OP!

Mememeplease Wed 10-Apr-19 10:56:50

I have been known to re wash things in holiday cottages and I know some dishwashers aren't great. But normally? What a waste of water to be continually rinsing.

dangerrabbit Wed 10-Apr-19 11:00:03

Never, that’s really rude and insulting.

ShannonRockallMalin Wed 10-Apr-19 11:00:25

@theconstantinoplegardener you can buy dishwasher cleaner in a small plastic bottle that you put in the rack upside down and run the cycle. I also take the filter and other detachable parts out once a month and scrub them to get all the food residue off.

Blibbyblobby Wed 10-Apr-19 14:57:11

@LucyAutumn

The nasty pond smell might be from eggs.

I am really sensitive to plates that have had egg on and then been washed and it is exactly that stagnant water smell. I can smell it even walking past plates on the drying rack or opening the cupboard. It's not old rotten eggs, it's a totally different smell, not even eggy.

I get it whether they are hand washed or dishwasher washed,.and it's anything that has eggs including cake batter. Eggy dirty dishes are fine. Actual eggy foods are fine too (except meringues for some reason) so it's something that happens in the washing process.

It took ages to work it out. At first we thought it was something wrong with the dishwasher so we were constantly cleaning it. Now we always wash eggy stuff by hand in a separate wash, first soaked in hot water with a drop or two of bleach and then scrubbed twice. Even then I often still smell it and have to rewash the plates.

I am certainly not a super clean house person, usually much closer to the "cut the mould off" end of the scale. It is just this one smell I am super-sensitive to.

I notice it quite often eating out as well sad luckily less often eating at friends, I think because people don't eat eggs every day but restaurants usually have a few egg dishes.

Sorry for the essay and thread hijack! But it took so long to get to the bottom of the mystery smell so I hope it helps anyone in the same boat

MitziK Wed 10-Apr-19 15:37:56

I do this at home.

DP learned from his mother that letting the water run until it got hot was a waste of money. My mother was no better, as she believed dunking them in soapy water and putting them straight onto the drainer (and keeping them there) was quite enough.

I', however, know that you use very hot water, a small squirt of liquid, start with the cleanest things and work your way from those to the greasy things at the end, using some form of scrubbing implement, changing the water frequently, rinsing everything AND cleaning the sink and bowl afterwards.

I'm not going to absolve DP of responsibility for washing up as he obviously needs the practice, but that doesn't mean I'm going to carefully ignore the essence of Fairy in a cuppa or crusty marks in the tines of a fork out of politeness. I really miss having a dishwasher.

FerdinandsMightyTesticles Wed 10-Apr-19 15:41:26

If they only do it at your house it's an insult, if they do it everywhere, they may well have OCD and not their fault.

If 2 people did it at my house I'd question if my dishes were as clean as I thought they were.

FerdinandsMightyTesticles Wed 10-Apr-19 15:43:18

@theconstantinoplegardener if you take a large dishwasher safe jug and fill it with white vinegar then stick in the bottom of your Empty dishwasher it fills with water as the machine runs and cleans it really well.

MitziK Wed 10-Apr-19 15:46:44

The pondwater smell is the pipe the other side of the filter/drain getting clogged up. Most people have their dishwasher connected to the sink outflow as well.

The way to deal with it is;

Get buckets, cloths, rubber gloves and a wire coathanger and a peg for your nose

Undo the dishwasher pipe where it connects to the sink outlet. Point it down into the bucket. Empty the DW (usually pressing and holding the start button). Clear any gunk out you can reach with the coathanger. Take the filter out, clean it over another sink (as the kitchen one is currently open), reach into the depths and see if you can feel any bits of food/slime that has collected. Slosh a bucket of hot water in, press drain and see what evil emerges into the bucket under the pipe. Clean the spray arms with a cocktail stick and rinse to ensure there is no slimy black gunk blocking them.

Clean the sink trap and as far down the outlet as possible. Put it all back together. Run a hot cycle with a dishwasher cleaner, fill the sink with boiling water, soap and a bit of bleach/disinfectant and all should be sweet smelling again.

KellyMarieTunstall2 Wed 10-Apr-19 15:48:06

I have a friend who does this. I've watched her rinsing plates and cutlery. She's also told her children to wash their hands before they leave my house. My house is clean. I used to ignore it as it's OCD, but I can't help finding it very rude so I don't invite her round anymore.

Littleraindrop15 Wed 10-Apr-19 15:48:10

I do this in my own home regardless whether they are clean. It's now become a habit I don't do cutlery just plates and glasses.

As of restaurant I wipe them down with a tissue if possible if not then life goes on.

Aethelthryth Wed 10-Apr-19 15:55:00

Unbelievably rude, no matter how filthy the plates etc..

Smellslikemiddleagespirit Wed 10-Apr-19 16:04:41

And the amount of people claiming to have OCD is ridiculous. Totally diminishes the reality of actually suffering from this illness

This with bells on. Too many mentions of “a bit of OCD” or diagnosing others on this thread.
OCD is a debilitating condition, and doesn’t necessarily focus on cleanliness.

supersop60 Wed 10-Apr-19 16:13:16

My DP is rubbish at washing up; he basically waves the cloth over the items and I frequently have to re-wash. We have a dishwasher, but he gets impatient if stuff is piling up on the side.
So, it's possible, OP, that your things aren't quite as clean as you think they are. If I'm wrong, then your guests are very rude.

ShirleyPhallus Wed 10-Apr-19 16:16:37

My DP is rubbish at washing up; he basically waves the cloth over the items and I frequently have to re-wash.

Why the fuck do you let him get away with that?!

Mamaslave18 Wed 10-Apr-19 16:28:43

A friend of mine washes glasses by swishing them in water. No cloth or scrubby thing is used which means the glasses are all greasy and smeared when you come to use them. I always buy an individual bottle of coke when I go to hers so that I can decline a drink on the basis I have one to finish from earlier.

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