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to feel slightly insulted when house guests re-wash dishes before using?!

(105 Posts)
BayLeaves Tue 09-Apr-19 10:25:26

Not really a big deal but just been wondering how other people would feel about this.

I’ve had a friend and a family member (on separate occasions) insisting on re-washing kitchen items themselves at my house before using them. One wanted to wash up the already clean plate and cutlery they were going to eat from, the other wanted to rewash a wooden chopping board before preparing food on it. They both claimed it’s nothing personal, just “OCD”. I don’t think either of them actually suffer from OCD, but then again I’m not an expert.

Would you find this insulting? My kitchen is very clean and my plates etc are all very clean too, no greasy fingerprints or anything as we use a dishwasher. It felt like they just don’t trust my cleanliness?

StealthPolarBear Tue 09-Apr-19 10:28:55

Yanbu very insulting

birdlover1977 Tue 09-Apr-19 10:29:41

My son with ASD does this all the time. It’s nothing personal, he just likes to makes sure the plate is clean.

Comefromaway Tue 09-Apr-19 10:29:55

I don't like the film that dishwashers leave on lots of crockery.

ZeroFuchsGiven Tue 09-Apr-19 10:31:33

I have never had this happen and if I did I really would be questioning how clean I perceived my house to be and how clean others seen it.

ShirleyPhallus Tue 09-Apr-19 10:32:32

I always rinse glasses before using them as the rims are often dusty and the dishwasher leaves film on them

ThisIsNotMyRealName1 Tue 09-Apr-19 10:51:41

That's a tough one. I've just spent six months living in a house where I had to pretty much wash everything before I used it. They too had a dishwasher but they never rinsed anything before it went it so it was more of a waste master that didn't work particularly well and some stuff came out no cleaner than it went, plus the dw smelt horrible. I'm definitely not ocd but also don't fancy eating off of plates etc with baked on food scraps.

LucyAutumn Tue 09-Apr-19 10:59:24

Do you have a dishwasher? If so do you make sure you put it through a clean cycle every now and again? I have a family member who, when we've been round to eat, has crockery that smells a bit off (like pond water my DH says). As they use a dishwasher we can only put it down to them not cleaning/ rinsing the dishwasher through enough. It really does pong to us, but the family member just doesn't seem to notice at all.

phoenixrosehere Tue 09-Apr-19 11:09:59

I’ve done this but it’s more of something that has been ingrained vs trying to be offensive. I only keep it to items I’m about to use vs things that have already been set out where if I see it I pick another utensil.

My hub washes dishes but doesn’t rinse as does his mum. They leave them covered in soap so the soap not only dries on them but anything that was missed is covered by it and it isn’t seen until it is picked up and used. Also, doesn’t rinse or scrape heavy food particles off dishes before popping them in the dishwasher either. If I didn’t go back and do it I can’t imagine what the dishwasher would smell like since the trap would eventually get clogged and I am definitely not going to be the one to clean that! The amount of dishes I had to rewash at home due to my husband’s washing because there was food still encrusted on it is ridiculous and wastes more water than if he had bothered to give them a quick rinse.

My parents were very strict when it came to dishwashing. If there was a spot or a speck of food on after I’ve washed them I’d have to wash every item again while being berated about food poisoning.

Yellowcar2 Tue 09-Apr-19 11:11:15

Are they 'ocd' about eating in restaurants or other people's homes? If so I would say it's just them. If not I'd be insulted.

BlueMerchant Tue 09-Apr-19 11:15:39

It's very rude of them. I wouldn't do it and if someone did it at my house I would be extremely offended.
I however don't like dishwasher's as people tend not to clean them and they can leave a funny smell on crockery.Id never wash them though in someone's home.

Comefromaway Tue 09-Apr-19 11:15:53

I regularly sent cutlerry back in restaurants!

teyem Tue 09-Apr-19 11:20:23

I rewash dishes and cutlery for my ds who has coeliacs. I see crumbs, and crumby fingers, crumby worksurfaces and crumby cutlery drawers everywhere I would have called clean before. grin

WhatNow40 Tue 09-Apr-19 11:21:09

I do this but only at my mums house. Her dishes and utensils are really dirty though. She seems oblivious. I picked up the fish slice from the utensil pot and it had grease and crumbs on, like she used it then put it back. I washed it, used it and left it with the dirty dishes. Next day, same again. She put it back dirty rather than put it in the dishwasher. Who does that?! confused I hate going to stay but leave to far away to be able to do a visit in one day.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Tue 09-Apr-19 11:22:54

I’ve had a friend and a family member (on separate occasions) insisting on re-washing kitchen items themselves at my house before using them.

Two, unconnected people ?

BlackSatinDancer Tue 09-Apr-19 11:23:50

If it was only one person I would consider it an OCD thing if they said that but two separate people? I would at least consider whether they are being kind by not telling me that the crockery wasn't as clean as it could be. Is your eyesight ok?

If you are sure it is perfectly clean then assume they are correct and do have OCD and try not to take offence.

onalongsabbatical Tue 09-Apr-19 11:30:42

Yes, two separate people seems more like it might be actually that there's something about your washing up that needs looking at, OP. Could you get another objective opinion from someone? A friend who'll be honest with you?

BaronessBomburst Tue 09-Apr-19 11:35:42

I rinse plates and glasses in my own house if they've not be used regularly. And I always re-wash the Christmas stuff/ serving plates/ garden set as they only get used at certain times of the year and then left in the cupboards for months.
I wouldn't take offence.

ourkidmolly Tue 09-Apr-19 11:42:13

Incredibly rude to do this as a guest. No defence.

onlyk Tue 09-Apr-19 11:42:36

I tend to rewash wine glasses even in my own home. Probably as they don’t get used much and I think they’re dusty.

ourkidmolly Tue 09-Apr-19 11:42:53

No doubt some poster will jump in with some crazy extenuating circumstances though.

AfterSchoolWorry Tue 09-Apr-19 11:44:24

I get the heebie jeebies from hand washed dishes tbh.

I wouldn't wash them but I'd be slightly aware, especially cups.

StealthPolarBear Tue 09-Apr-19 11:48:35

Do you not eat in restaurants?

whitesoxx Tue 09-Apr-19 11:52:40

If you have a dishwasher the crockery might smell. And it leaves a grimy film in some cases.

I never rewash as it's rude but am often tempted at dishwasher houses

shakenfizzydrink Tue 09-Apr-19 12:08:52

Is your dishwasher clean? Do you use rinse aid?

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