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AIBU to be peeved, or just over sensitive re: nickname

(39 Posts)
NorthernKnickers Tue 09-Apr-19 10:23:29

I'm prepared to be told I'm being either, as I can't really put my finger on 'why' it annoys me so much...I probably need to just let it go, but...

I'm a teacher (relevant), and have just started OLD. Several of the guys I've exchanged messages with refer to me as 'Teach'. Constantly, during messages, eg 'morning Teach', 'what's Teach been up to today?', 'given any detentions out today Teach?' This kind of thing. I don't refer to them as 'banker' or 'driver' or whatever. I imagine they'd do the same if I was a doctor or nurse...but probably not if I was a checkout operator, bus driver or an office clerk!

Just feels weird to me...but as I said, not sure if I'm just being over sensitive here.

Your opinions would be most welcome 😊

Fishywife Tue 09-Apr-19 10:28:45

I would hate that, it would put me off and I would not be conversing futher with/ dating them. Same with nicknames like 'babe'.

Chloemol Tue 09-Apr-19 10:30:09

It would annoy me as well. I would be going back fine thanks banker/ driver or whatever their profession was

Bringbackthestripes Tue 09-Apr-19 10:31:47

I wouldn’t like it either.

countchuckula Tue 09-Apr-19 10:34:05

Sounds like they have a teacher fetish?

www.fatherly.com/love-money/why-sexy-teachers-are-still-so-damn-hot/

Why Are Grown Men Still So Hot for Teacher?

It is worth acknowledging out of the gate that men can sexualize women with any job (Amazon sells multiple sexy plumber costumes)

But the teacher stands alone

downcasteyes Tue 09-Apr-19 10:35:39

Hmmmm, I can see why this would bother you, but I think they're just trying to be humorous/get close to you with a little bit of teasing.

If you find it a turn-off, just tell them. Or use it to your advantage. Say something like 'Argh, had such a day of it - please let's not talk about work' and see if they have the sensitivity to respond by shifting their register. If so, they may be date material!

Namechangeforthiscancershit Tue 09-Apr-19 10:52:05

They think they're being funny. Bless.

I suspect it'll die out when you know more about each other and have other things to discuss! They're grasping at straws right now.

Charley34 Tue 09-Apr-19 11:08:28

Sound like right dickheads! Tell them to grow up and stop saying it to u or just block them.

ColdFrame Tue 09-Apr-19 11:10:12

I'd think they were completely witless and stop chatting with them.

NorthernKnickers Tue 09-Apr-19 11:38:46

@countchuckula oh my! That was quite a read 😳 I'd never even considered this aspect...now I feel even more strongly about it!

I'm glad others feel the same...it just irks me I guess!

Thank you all for responding 💐

NorthernKnickers Tue 09-Apr-19 11:48:10

@downcasteyes and @Namechangeforthiscancershit...you may be right! Could just be an attempt at humour. Bless them! It just irritates me a bit I guess...In the same way that one chap kept using my actual name in almost every sentence...'How are you Jill? Have you been up to anything nice Jill? Would love to go for coffee sometime Jill!' (My name isn't Jill 😊). He's clearly read some 'how to impress' guide that says use the recipient's name a lot...I really find this off-putting...sales men do it all the time! I'm sure these guys are lovely IRL.

NewGrandad Tue 09-Apr-19 11:52:06

Have you told them that you don't like it?

downcasteyes Tue 09-Apr-19 11:52:48

Northern - That made me laugh because I know a guy who also does that name-using thing as a boss! He's a really lovely fella, but it does come over as kind of intense at times. It's not gendered in his case - he does it to men as much as women!

Give them a chance to correct it - if they're really tone deaf, then you can cross them off your list. Good luck with the OLD!

Isadora2007 Tue 09-Apr-19 11:54:57

Try being a physio. No of course no one else has ever made the “joke” about having a grown strain to me before... how original hmm

BertrandRussell Tue 09-Apr-19 12:01:20

“Have you told them that you don't like it?”

Why would she need to? hmm

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Tue 09-Apr-19 12:03:41

Urghhhhh, yuck! How off putting!

Littlechocola Tue 09-Apr-19 12:06:12

Makes it easier to get rid of the idiots!

NorthernKnickers Tue 09-Apr-19 13:25:17

@Isadora2007 Eugh! Seriously? That's just crass 😳 But of course...it's 'just banter' if we object!

Squigglesworth Tue 09-Apr-19 13:56:56

Yeah, not a fan, but if I liked the man otherwise, I'd try to make a seemingly lighthearted response that would clue him in to my feelings on the subject. Something like: (groan) "Ugh, please, no! You have no idea how much I hate being called 'Teach'. Do it again and I'll be sending you to detention, Mister!"

NewGrandad Tue 09-Apr-19 17:08:34

*“Have you told them that you don't like it?”

Why would she need to?*

Because not all men are mind readers?

BertrandRussell Tue 09-Apr-19 17:25:28

“Because not all men are mind readers?”
No. But you don’t have to be a mind reader to not be a dick!

Camomila Tue 09-Apr-19 17:29:58

Where I used to live bus drivers were called 'drive' a lot.

I would make a joke along what squiggleworth said if they seemed otherwise nice, or you could use it as a way to filter them - uses annoying nicknames = not your type.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll Tue 09-Apr-19 18:03:32

He's clearly read some 'how to impress' guide that says use the recipient's name a lot...I really find this off-putting...sales men do it all the time!

It's one of those things that business trainers insist makes people feel special and puts them at their ease - even though the vast majority of people find it intensely irritating and not a little bit creepy.

It's from the same school as the assured belief that people feel like valued customers in shops if you welcome them over-effusively with a big plastic smile, constantly follow them around asking how you can be of assistance, compliment them on their buying choices/considerations and then order them enthusiastically to "Have a nice day!" at the end.

BloodyDisgrace Tue 09-Apr-19 19:16:57

I think it's either: 1) calling you the nickname you are under on that particular dating site, if you didn't give them your first name or 2) your first name if you did.
You just have to correct them. I'm not "teach", I'm Maria. My name here is sweetfuckingkittens, be sure to spell it correctly each time, if just "you" is not good enough.

Michaelbaubles Tue 09-Apr-19 19:23:54

It’s tedious and all the jokes about “you can teach me any time” “I’d love to be in detention with you” etc are dull as hell and a sure fire sign of a man with little imagination. Trust me on this, they’re doing you a favour by showing you how utterly devoid of humour and steadfastly conventional and dull they are.

Nothing wrong with a little flirty joke about it once you get to know them but if it’s the leading tone of early interactions...dull. Dull, dull, dull.

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