Hi all,
Hope you are having a good evening.
So I’m pregnant with second baby. First baby was the first in both sides of grandparents and received so much attention and celebrations. He is now 1.5 years and still getting a lot of attention which I’m grateful for.
My brother, whose wife has been hopeful for a baby for a very long time, as well as him, announced pregnancy 2 month ago. They were scared she can’t get pregnant for medical issues. It was very much anticipated news and everyone is so happy for them, especially me. He is really excited sending scans of his baby. He lives really far away and his baby and him won’t have a chance to meet the grandparents anytime soon and it gets to him. And he is getting positive attention which he never had much of before.
My brother and I were always compared as children. I was golden child and he was scapegoat.. I don’t think he fully recovered from it. I was always empathetic and tried to put myself down so he feels better but I don’t think that’s what it takes to make it better.. he has been trying to be good but in many ways I feel he doesn’t enjoy feeling “behind” me.. my father is also not sensitive to his feelings and I don’t want something like pregnancies to be coming between us or to be used to make him feel crap.
We got closer as we became teeenagers but when he met his now wife, things happened and I feel she completely behaves competitively with me. He admitted he used to not like me and told her bad stuff about me when they met. He apologized for that but I think she entertains the idea and honestly don’t think she wants him to like me. I don’t enjoy it and keep my distance from her.. but Im hopeful to be close to my brother one day and we are both making an effort.
Problem is, when he announced his pregnancy I had just found out I too am pregnant but hadn’t announced yet.. I told my mum in secret and told her not to make a fuss and told her that I don’t want to take attention away from my brother who has never received positive attention much from dad/siblings.. she agreed.
He is now close to 5 months and found out the gender of his baby and we are all happy from him and it’s all too sentimental and I’m enjoying it on his behalf. I thought I’d give it another month before I announce to my family.. I would be around 4 months or so.
AIBU? Am I overthinking this? He isn’t the type that appreciates my sacrifices I guess because he deep down doesn’t really like me but I just want to be fair on him and myself.
I also don’t want him to think I purposely hid things away from him and rest of the family. Especially that he is calling me up asking me about parenting things and it feels bad at this stage that I’m just keeping it secret.
I think I’m overthinking it, help me see sense.
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AIBU?
When to announce pregnancy to expecting DB?
42 replies
SchoolOfLife2 · 09/04/2019 00:29
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