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Life planning v drifting

(7 Posts)
RomanyQueen1 Mon 08-Apr-19 20:37:14

AIBU to suggest that with all the discontentment, divorce, broken friendships, redundancy, bereavement and all the other things life throws our way that planning life isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Or if IABU, what would two drifters like me and dh have missed out on?
Have often wondered whether it makes a difference to the life we have.

Walktwomoons Mon 08-Apr-19 20:43:56

I enjoy planning even though I know that I can't control what happens, or might change my mind. Having goals and working towards them gives me purpose and makes me happy. The trick is to have a few different goals and back-up plans. That said, I have a very easy life, so I can see that if a series of tough events has recently happened in your life, things might seem a bit pointless. Maybe you could think of little, short term goals to get your momentum going.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Mon 08-Apr-19 20:50:28

Resilience is the key. Everyone has death or redundancy to deal with, the way in which you deal with it is important. Helicopter parenting does absolutely no good whatsoever for giving people coping skills, - big C&P coming but this is the key to a successful life.

In my opinion - unqualified of course - the spike in MH issues is caused by parents not parenting properly, not giving the tools to their children.

The positive dimension of mental health is emphasized in the World Health Organization's (WHO's) definition of health. The definition highlights; “Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” Concepts of mental health include subjective well-being, perceived self-efficacy, autonomy, competence, and recognition of the ability to realize one's intellectual and emotional potential. It has also been defined as a state of well-being whereby individuals recognize their abilities, are able to cope with the normal stresses of life, work productively and fruitfully, and make a contribution to their communities. Mental health is about enhancing competencies of individuals and communities and enabling them to achieve their self-determined goals.

InternetArgument Mon 08-Apr-19 20:50:58

Apart from plans making God laugh, some people like planning and some don’t. I know a couple who are very happy and have drifted all their lives. I think it’s lovely to see them every now and then as they clearly like the way they live and just would not flourish in orderly and conventional lifestyles.

It’s horses for courses really, and so I think it’s unlikely you’ve missed on a life you would probably have deemed less worthy of living.

Yogagirl123 Mon 08-Apr-19 20:54:44

Always makes me smile when people talk about plans, the brilliant pension they have coming etc. Life just doesn’t work that way.

Things that have happened in my last life in the last few years have totally changed my outlook on life and made me realise that so much is out of our control.

Of course we need to plan certain things, but being able to adapt and be resilient is a much more important skill.

Sculpin Mon 08-Apr-19 20:59:30

I agree that plans don’t always work out. But - they sometimes do! So it’s worth trying, surely.

In my case, my career was not the kind of thing you fall into by accident, as you have to study the right subjects at school / uni and then work hard to gain a professional qualification. So if I had just drifted into a job, I’d have missed out on an interesting, rewarding career.

RomanyQueen1 Mon 08-Apr-19 21:15:39


I think that's it. I don't mean it's better not to plan, just different than planning. We had 3dc and never planned to have any.
We just sort of take each day as it comes.
I'm not sure what I'd plan, although sometimes I plan for short term obviously.

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