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AIBU to think what my coleleague said was offensive?

(17 Posts)
LadySlytherin24 Mon 08-Apr-19 20:26:30

So my memory is next to none and my colleagues call me weird for remembering every small detail. Today in the office the person who sits next to me turned to said "Your dead weird you, I reckon you have aspergers and are on the autistic spectrum"

He turned to another colleague and THEY BOTH started laughing but couldn't see that I took offense to it. My cousin had aspergers and was on the high end of the spectrum, unfortunately he died a few years ago in his sleep.

We all work at a private school so surely they know not be throwing comments like that around, especially since he's old enough to be my dad and she my mum.

I just want to know if I AIBU about what he said.

Soulsista14 Mon 08-Apr-19 20:28:05

YANBU. Disgraceful.

formerbabe Mon 08-Apr-19 20:29:29


Ewitsahooman Mon 08-Apr-19 20:29:50

YANBU. Weird = autistic is offensive. Are they usually utter cunts or is this a one off?

BertrandRussell Mon 08-Apr-19 20:29:52

Of course they were rude. Incredibly rude. Why is the private school bit relevant?

Henrysmycat Mon 08-Apr-19 20:30:45

Omg. Are you even questioning this? It’s extrem highly offensive.

BertrandRussell Mon 08-Apr-19 20:30:49

You should take it to whoever deals with personnel isssues.

Chocolateisfab Mon 08-Apr-19 20:31:16

Suggest they both have Twatism.

Ewitsahooman Mon 08-Apr-19 20:31:21

Why is the private school bit relevant?

Probably because you'd expect school staff to have at least a passing acquaintance with SN and so would know not to make derogatory comments about it. They would have also have diversity training.

LadySlytherin24 Mon 08-Apr-19 20:32:30

It was just more to do with the fact of it being a school setting and that they should be less callous with their words when it is an extremely inclusive setting . No importance on the private bit at all, believe me!! But that's another story for another board!! grin

LadySlytherin24 Mon 08-Apr-19 20:33:56

I know, each time I have had issues with this colleague he doesn't even have a discussion with the boss so I just wanted to make sure it wasn't just me.

HoofWankingSpangleCunt Mon 08-Apr-19 20:35:36

Every time I hear wankers make comments like this my blood runs cold . My DS 11 has autism and he is incredibly vulnerable, like so many others. It's hard enough to navigate the world as it is with an ASD without having to factor in dealing with offensive bollocks like this.
Please report these people. It's scary to think they are working in an educational setting.

HoofWankingSpangleCunt Mon 08-Apr-19 20:36:58

It's definitely not just you and I can well imagine this guy has form for twattish behaviour.

BertrandRussell Mon 08-Apr-19 20:37:02

The problem with it being a private school is that they may not have proper complaint structures in place- some do, some don’t. Do you think they have?

LadySlytherin24 Mon 08-Apr-19 20:39:59

We have complaint procedures but the boss and he are very close. We are a very inclusive school and we work hard to accept all walks of life no matter what the race, gender or disability so for him to say it so callously was quite shocking tbh.

ooItsAoBeautifulDayNow Mon 08-Apr-19 20:52:43

They sound like a pair of absolute cunts.

Imagine if parents / pupils heard this lazy and offensive stereotype (odd and autistic being interchangeable) and were disgusted (as I would be) or arguably even worse thought it was acceptable because supposed professionals used it.

Do you feel confident to report it? What a shitty situation for you OP, sorry sad

Pollaidh Mon 08-Apr-19 21:04:57

This is shocking and completely unacceptable, it also falls foul of discrimination legislation, the Equality Act 2010, by reason of perception - i.e. if you are harassed or victimised due to people perceiving you have a protected characteristic, such as being gay or having a disability, then that falls under the act.

The school management has a duty to protect you from such harassment and victimisation, and can get into hot water if they fail to protect you.

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