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To stay in this relationship?

(18 Posts)
Tiger33000 Mon 08-Apr-19 19:32:37

Do all relationships go like this? I’ve been with my boyfriend for 9 months, and I just don’t think he’s trying anymore.

He doesn’t want sex that much, he doesn’t want to go on proper dates that much, makes me feel like embarrassed if he pays for a meal etc, prioritises his friends and work before me.

I was in hospital last week and he had a go at me saying I was being stubborn and awkward because I asked him not to bring his mate into visiting hours (I was in pyjamas with IVs and oxygen, I hardly want it to be a lads gathering do I?). So in the end I settled it by saying just go out with your mate instead cause it was either he doesn’t come in at all or he comes in with his mate.

He never does little things, I used to bring him a hot chocolate when I pick him up or other little things like that, he’s done the same ONCE and reminds me of it an awful lot. Didn’t get me a card for Valentine’s Day even though I said the card is the most important thing to me because I’d rather have thoughtful words than a gift.

I just don’t get it. At the start I was completely swept away with it all, thought he was amazing, he treat me so nice. And now he’s comfortable and it’s boring and no effort put in. What would you do? I’ve brought it up with him and it’s pointless.

MollysLips Mon 08-Apr-19 19:35:20

Dump him without a second thought and move on with your life. And get well soon!

formerbabe Mon 08-Apr-19 19:35:27

Yeah, end it, move on, plenty more fish in the sea!

Lalliella Mon 08-Apr-19 19:37:45

LTB. If he’s like this after 9 months, imagine what he’ll be like after 9 years. He’s showing his true colours now. Get rid.

lifebegins50 Mon 08-Apr-19 19:40:43

The hospital visit was awful. This man does not have your back and never will.

The nice him was fake, this is the real person. Don't waste your time hoping he will change back, it was just an act.

You deserve much better.

Bananalanacake Mon 08-Apr-19 19:41:30

thank God you don't live with him. have some time to yourself and get well soon .

MadameAnchou Mon 08-Apr-19 19:42:52

You have to ask? Fuck him off and stop dating until you do some serious work on your self-esteem to determine why you even give the time of day to twats like this.

HelloMonday Mon 08-Apr-19 20:15:00

I'd call quits on this, and not even blink!
You should still be in a nice 'honeymoon phase'. This sounds bleek.

He's telling you who he is, and you should listen.

Shoxfordian Mon 08-Apr-19 20:19:37

Yeah end it, he's useless

AsleepAllDay Mon 08-Apr-19 20:23:48

He sounds awful!

loztredders Mon 08-Apr-19 20:25:35

He sounds horrendous. End it now.

helpmum2003 Mon 08-Apr-19 20:52:12

End it.

Eliza9919 Mon 08-Apr-19 21:00:03

Leave him.

Pollaidh Mon 08-Apr-19 21:10:23

No, if he's not making even basic efforts in the 9 month (still honeymoon) stage, then he's not worth it. End it and find someone who respects you. 15 + years on DH still makes me feel cared for and special every day, not by overwhelming me with gifts etc, but through little attentions.

I dumped a previous boyfriend who was more concerned about meeting his mates than driving me to the doctors when I had a kidney infection.

ooItsAoBeautifulDayNow Mon 08-Apr-19 21:20:28

Are you happy? No? If not then end it!

If that doesn't feel like an obvious answer then why do you think it's better to feel the way you do now than to be single again?

He sounds like a right dick!

Neverender Mon 08-Apr-19 21:21:51

Chuck him while you still can

FactsOfLife Mon 08-Apr-19 21:22:26

Good god! Leave!!!

Willow2017 Mon 08-Apr-19 22:10:34

Dump and dont look back.

What a selfish arse. Who.on earth would take a mate to see am ill partner is he a child?

Find a man who can function without a 'mate' to keep.him company. He only cares about himself.

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