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Cake smash cake

(168 Posts)
WishUponAStarBar Mon 08-Apr-19 17:59:00

DDs first birthday this month, not spending alot of money on anything because
1. I don't know anyone with babies
2. I'm saving money to get my own place as I'm staying with my mum, im a single mum, her dad pays no money.
3. She won't remember it anyway.
Just going to take her to soft play, have a birthday cake and go out for dinner, I've got her a couple of things too but nothing major as she had alot at Christmas.
Anyway, ever since I saw the photo shoots of a cake smash, I've wanted to do it for DD's first birthday. It's not an expensive one, I use a photographer who's just starting out but she's still really good but at a really good price. She told me she could include a cake in the cake smash shoot but it would be an extra £30. My stepdad, after hearing this, insisted that his mum would be able to make one for free. I said I wouldn't expect it for free, I was also looking for something specific and he insisted. He asked for photos of examples and he would ask her. I found a photo, almost exactly what I wanted, the most simple design as it's going to get smashed up anyway, the main colour was right in the picture I sent, which is yellow, but I asked for a couple of red "big swirls" dotted over it to look like roses. (Not a cake maker so don't know the terms lol) I have a specific theme for the shoot, I have made props and banners to tie in and her dress is matching.
My stepdad told me that she could do exactly that, no problems.
She's made cakes for us before and they've all been lovely. So we all agreed it would be like that and I was planning on buying her a bunch of flowers or something as a thank you.
Photoshoot is tomorrow so my mum and stepdad went to collect the cake today while i took DD out, my mum text me at half 4 saying she wasn't sure if she shoukd send me a photo or not... This made me think there was something wrong so I asked her to send it.
The cake, it's nice enough but it's not what I asked. She's used pink instead of red, and there's too much pink, she's also stuck these hard icing daisies all over it. And it's too small, although that isn't such a big issue.
Now I feel really bad as she's done a lovely thing, but I had an image in my head and the cake doesn't fit in. My stepdad and his mum really wanted to help out, and so I would feel bad to say it wasn't what I expected. I still intend on buying her flowers or something as she went to the effort to make the cake.
I was thinking of running to the supermarket to buy a cake and some icing and piping bags etc and trying it myself, I've found a tutorial on YouTube which makes it look easy enough...
WIBU to do this? Am I just being stupid? I just really wanted these photos to be good as I wanted one blown up for my wall when I get my own place and I'm worried it's not going to look right, so I thought I would at least attempt to make a cake right? Is it really hard?

Mumma111 Thu 02-May-19 19:14:08

We did one today and it was amazing, memories I'll never forget

MsChicken Wed 10-Apr-19 21:57:54

What BlueMerchant said. Keep the cake as the too-lovely-to-spoil actual cake that gets eaten and smash up something else. That way you can buy a shop cake, cover it in any icing you like (yellow butter cream) and red rosette swirls (really easy). Do what makes you happy. Seriously this is nothing compared to the kids events I see and oddly no one gives two hoots about kids smashing a (probably) child labour made pinata but suddenly it's not OK to smash a cake. And she may not remember her 1st birthday but you will so get your nozzle on and get icing.

blueyellowgreen Wed 10-Apr-19 21:09:02

Jesus Christ you lot are being ridiculous. I took the cake from our cake smash home and we ate it!!!! Imagine no food waste to get all worked up about. And I imagine nobody here ever throws out any food...

Yes it's tacky and silly... that's the point. And yes it'll date... also kinda the point. All photos look dated in the end so why not embrace a trend which nods to the era they grew up in?

Such haters here!!

Whoops75 Wed 10-Apr-19 20:49:17

Sounds great x

Thegreymethod Wed 10-Apr-19 20:33:13

@StillCoughingandLaughing I didn't get my nickers in a twist 🤣 I was talking about the people who were questioning the OP about taking her daughter to the soft play and for a meal. She mentioned that but she didn't ask for people's advice on that.

OP so glad it all turned out well and you've got lovely memories of your daughters first birthday.

EmeraldShamrock Tue 09-Apr-19 17:44:29

Awh what a lovely memory to have and see in the future.
I am glad it went well, good thinking on the cake topper. smile

MrsBastable Tue 09-Apr-19 16:08:39

Good on you OP, and I'm glad it went well. Came smashes aren't my thing, but I absolutely know what it's like to have your heart set on one particular thing you'd like your baby to have/do, even if it's frivolous nonsense. Surely that's what makes the hard bits of parenting bearable.

TheGrey1houndSpeaks Tue 09-Apr-19 15:58:09

Hardly shocking?

Nesssie Tue 09-Apr-19 15:55:13

Glad you had fun! This thread was shocking, such negative replies.
Hope the photos come out well.

dontfluffthefluffer Tue 09-Apr-19 15:49:17

@WishUponAStarBar that's an excellent update, ignore the grumpy arsed posters who can't see how happy this would make you and get those pics printed and on the wall!

WishUponAStarBar Tue 09-Apr-19 15:42:39

@Cottonwood thank you, I appreciate that reply.

@LittleLongDog haha! During the shoot my DD kept trying to offer me a bit of the cake, so the photographer suggested I go in for a photo or 2, she shoved some cake in my mouth and she got a photo as she did it, it tasted great too! Don't know if the photo will be any good but it was a funny moment that I could keep.

@HappyDinosaur my DD loves soft play, the ball pit is her favourite and always has been. I don't know why people think she's too young either. confused

@dontfluffthefluffer the yellow mixed in with the pink after DD played around with it making it even more pink, so actually even having red probably wouldn't have mattered, so I realise now I was probably BU, but thankfully due to some of the negative replies and of course the positive, It helped me see that and saved me some time and money. The pink didn't ruin the shoot at all, I was worried for nothing and my mum took a sneaky picture while it was all happening to send to my stepdads mum and she was thrilled too. So it was a success, in my eyes anyway smile

KeptTheBeachesShipwreckFree Tue 09-Apr-19 15:38:03

Excellent, I'm glad that you and your dd had fun. The memories, even if they're only yours and not hers, will be there forever. You'll remember the day as a whole even if only this part was caught on camera.

No, not everything has to be a photoshoot, but it's nice to have some decent, posed pictures and not all of them have to be serious.

BTW, my dc enjoyed going to soft play at that age. We went to one where there was a separate area for under 2s where they could climb and slide and build towers with massive soft blocks I hated it though unfortunately so I rarely took them.

dontfluffthefluffer Tue 09-Apr-19 15:34:14

I'm so pleased you had a good time with you dd.

They're not to everyone's taste but that's irrelevant if you wanted one and enjoyed it.

I second the comment about red being very difficult to achieve at times but you can, if you wish, ask the photographer to alter the colour on the cake in post processing. It's very easy to do and if they're a good photographer/retoucher will take seconds to alter for the swirled areas to make it all as you wished initially.

HappyDinosaur Tue 09-Apr-19 15:27:26

I'm not a fan of cake smash photos myself, but I can see why a baby would like it! People have been a bit mean so I'm glad you did what you wanted and that you both had a lovely day. I'm taking my baby to an aquarium for her 1st Birthday, which people might also say is a waste, but I think we'll have a nice day out. Also strange that some don't think a 1 year old can go to soft play, my daughter has loved it since about 8 months old!

Giddyuppp Tue 09-Apr-19 15:23:31

No where else other than on mumsnet have I seen such hate for cake-smash photoshoot. God, supermarkets waste a hell of a lot more food than this and you you don't all go ape at Sainsbury's do you?!

outpinked Tue 09-Apr-19 15:21:46

It’s another American trend infiltrating the UK like baby showers. An American friend of mine did it ten years ago when her DS turned one and I found it weird then, it’s still weird now.

LittleLongDog Tue 09-Apr-19 15:11:45

I’m glad you all had a good time OP. smile

I’ve just googled adult cake smash...

Cottonwood Tue 09-Apr-19 15:08:56

I have to say even though I was really critical of the whole concept from the start of the thread OP, you've been lovely and dignified the whole way through the thread and I'm really glad you had a great day xx

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira Tue 09-Apr-19 15:02:58


How will you teach her not to mash cake now?*

Oh give over.

Glad you had fun OP.

WishUponAStarBar Tue 09-Apr-19 15:00:33

@Confusedbeetle this was a one off, and as people have previously said, BLW is encouraged nowadays and I actually had a conversation with my HV not long ago because my DD was playing with food that I have her more than eating it. My HV said that this is how they explore, from starting to wean until 1 year old, food is just for fun, let her squish it in her hands, feel the texture and she'll soon get used to it and will start to eat properly. So how it giving her a cake any different to BLW? I'm sure my DD will grow up soon enough and will understand food is for eating not playing. But for now, like the HV said to do, I'll let her have fun wink

Confusedbeetle Tue 09-Apr-19 14:46:09

How will you teach her not to mash cake now?

Confusedbeetle Tue 09-Apr-19 14:45:19

The whole idea is quite ridiculous. What a waste of money and energy and cake. You risk offending your MIL while you are at it. What will people come up with next? Life is just a photo shoot. Soft play is ok is age appropriate but at one?

WishUponAStarBar Tue 09-Apr-19 14:41:32

@KeptTheBeachesShipwreckFree I agree with you, thank you!

Thanks to everyone who replied, even the negative ones, ever opinion helps I guess.

I ended up sticking with the homemade cake for the smash but I made a cake topper out of card I had left over from making the banners and props so it helped it to tie in with the whole theme.
DD had fun, she was laughing and smiling and as soon as the cake was put on front of her she was straight in with a big grin.
Got some lovely photos from what I could see, also got a few photos of her in one of her fancy dresses.

Like or love the idea... we had fun and that's all that matters, she won't remember it but I will, and i can show her the photos when she's older. Maybe I'll cringe like a PP said, but I can laugh at the same time.

Have a nice day. smile

KeptTheBeachesShipwreckFree Tue 09-Apr-19 10:35:37

Please don't justify your choices op. This is Mumsnet, the place where the only acceptable photo is one shot on an iPhone and where weaning should be baby-led, which inevitably means getting very messy but heaven forbid you take a photo of that messy baby.

It's the place where posters wring their hands about climate change and wastefulness yet happily call anyone who doesn't shower 5x daily or boil wash their clothes, towels and sheets as soon as they've been breathed on a massive slob.

The place where cake solves everything but how dare you buy your child one?! OMG the sugar!! The waste!!

Fwiw I think you should use the cake that you've been given. If it's too red, the icing can look like blood so pink is probably a better choice. I think the photographer can take a shot with the whole cake and then slice a bit off for the "smash" part so the rest is saved for you to eat later on.

If you want to do it, and it sounds like you have planned it carefully and can afford it, then do it. You are allowed to treat yourself too. I hope you and your dd have a lovely time.

WishUponAStarBar Tue 09-Apr-19 09:47:17

@StillCoughingandLaughing I never said I haven't got much money, I just said I was saving. I have actually saved more than expected in a short time frame, but still watching my spending with certain things, maybe some people think IWBU for wanting to go and attempt a shop bought cake, I priced everything to do it and it was under £20, that's fine. I've not bought myself anything, treated myself or gone out since god knows when. This photoshoot was a treat for myself.

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