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Cake smash cake

(168 Posts)
WishUponAStarBar Mon 08-Apr-19 17:59:00

DDs first birthday this month, not spending alot of money on anything because
1. I don't know anyone with babies
2. I'm saving money to get my own place as I'm staying with my mum, im a single mum, her dad pays no money.
3. She won't remember it anyway.
Just going to take her to soft play, have a birthday cake and go out for dinner, I've got her a couple of things too but nothing major as she had alot at Christmas.
Anyway, ever since I saw the photo shoots of a cake smash, I've wanted to do it for DD's first birthday. It's not an expensive one, I use a photographer who's just starting out but she's still really good but at a really good price. She told me she could include a cake in the cake smash shoot but it would be an extra £30. My stepdad, after hearing this, insisted that his mum would be able to make one for free. I said I wouldn't expect it for free, I was also looking for something specific and he insisted. He asked for photos of examples and he would ask her. I found a photo, almost exactly what I wanted, the most simple design as it's going to get smashed up anyway, the main colour was right in the picture I sent, which is yellow, but I asked for a couple of red "big swirls" dotted over it to look like roses. (Not a cake maker so don't know the terms lol) I have a specific theme for the shoot, I have made props and banners to tie in and her dress is matching.
My stepdad told me that she could do exactly that, no problems.
She's made cakes for us before and they've all been lovely. So we all agreed it would be like that and I was planning on buying her a bunch of flowers or something as a thank you.
Photoshoot is tomorrow so my mum and stepdad went to collect the cake today while i took DD out, my mum text me at half 4 saying she wasn't sure if she shoukd send me a photo or not... This made me think there was something wrong so I asked her to send it.
The cake, it's nice enough but it's not what I asked. She's used pink instead of red, and there's too much pink, she's also stuck these hard icing daisies all over it. And it's too small, although that isn't such a big issue.
Now I feel really bad as she's done a lovely thing, but I had an image in my head and the cake doesn't fit in. My stepdad and his mum really wanted to help out, and so I would feel bad to say it wasn't what I expected. I still intend on buying her flowers or something as she went to the effort to make the cake.
I was thinking of running to the supermarket to buy a cake and some icing and piping bags etc and trying it myself, I've found a tutorial on YouTube which makes it look easy enough...
WIBU to do this? Am I just being stupid? I just really wanted these photos to be good as I wanted one blown up for my wall when I get my own place and I'm worried it's not going to look right, so I thought I would at least attempt to make a cake right? Is it really hard?

lazyarse123 Mon 08-Apr-19 18:11:01

Really!! You're not in a particularly good place financially (for the record neither am I) and you want to waste good food for a ridiculous photo opportunity. So glad I am too old for all this shit.

Cottonwood Mon 08-Apr-19 18:11:34

She's ONE for heaven's sake! Just have a little tea party at home with Granny and the cake and take some nice pictures on your phone. You haven't got much money you say?? Just no.

EmeraldShamrock Mon 08-Apr-19 18:11:37

You could try make one.
I would forget the cake, have professional photo's of DD in her new dress.
Red and pink wont match anyway.
I personally hate smash cake photo's, I think people will look back on them as tacky.
A lovely number 1 balloon, some scattered rose petal would be better than a smash cake. Sorry.

Cottonwood Mon 08-Apr-19 18:13:35

Of course I've got photos of my children, none of them involve smashing up a cake funnily enough. It's an obscene waste of ingredients and just feels so wrong when others are queuing up at food banks.

ZenNudist Mon 08-Apr-19 18:13:36

Use the cake youve been given. Or buy and make a cheap one as the home made cake sounds too nice to smash.

Im off to Google cake smash. I cant imagine wanting a pic of a dirty baby. You will have plenty of opportunities for those. Go get some beautiful pics of her in her finery.

WishUponAStarBar Mon 08-Apr-19 18:14:55

@TheFatberg is that aimed at me or?

I mean I'm grateful for the cake and figured I would keep it for her birthday.

@Sunonthepatio are you donating 50% of your money to the poor to help this too?

I actually think cake smash photos are really nice. Yes they're covered in cake, but it's colourful and children love to get messy. All the ones I've seen have been lovely

Cottonwood Mon 08-Apr-19 18:15:20

To the poster who said it's snobbery, it's got bugger all to do with snobbery but plenty to do with ethics and decency. Sorry if that sounds a bit sanctimonious but it's just wrong imo.

Floralnomad Mon 08-Apr-19 18:15:32

I can’t see what’s nice about pictures of children covered in food but that could just be my issue . Us ethe cake you have OP in the great scheme of things it will be fine .

Redglitter Mon 08-Apr-19 18:16:30

The photos always look really good

I have never seen a cake smash photo that looks in any way good. I just can't see anything cute about a baby covered in cake & icing. I'd far rather see a baby looking cute (& clean) in their 1st birthday photos.

WishUponAStarBar Mon 08-Apr-19 18:16:50

@ZenNudist well my other option was to have her in a dress I have been given as a gift when she was born that only just started to fit her now. It's a lovely dress so I guess I could go with that idea instead.

ZenNudist Mon 08-Apr-19 18:17:19

Ok I've googled. You need something with creamy swirls. But urgh. I wouldn't personally give a 1yo this much sugar but hey ho. Each to their own. It wont kill her.

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams Mon 08-Apr-19 18:18:37

With the yellow and roses, is it Beauty and the Beast you wanted Wish?

Could you maybe ask the photographer if you could do two 'half' shoots — one in the dress with the props. Then another of her in just a normal unthemed dress with the cake and no props?

Or just do the theme but no cake and save it for eating afterwards (that would be preference to be honest!) — you get to enjoy it as well then!

BaronessBomburst Mon 08-Apr-19 18:18:38

If you want to celebrate your daughter's first birthday, then do it! It's a special day for you too.
I don't pretend to get the cake smash though. And I've never used a professional photographer. But that's all irrelevant because different people want different things.
Re the cake, use the one you've been given. You can always ask the photographer to darken the pink up to red.

miaCara Mon 08-Apr-19 18:18:46

I have no idea why cake smashing has become a thing but, if thats what floats your boat ,get on with it. But be aware that other people will think you are mad for wasting perfectly good home-made cake in pursuit of a photo opportunity.
Babies will make a mess anyway - you dont have to smash a cake to enable it.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira Mon 08-Apr-19 18:18:54

Not really sure what you’re asking? Fine go to soft play it’s only £1, buy another cake it’s only £30, go out for a meal it’s only £20 confused

Or have a tea party with granny and the cake she made, and put the money you saved into an account for your daughter or just spend it on stuff she needs.

HopeClearwater Mon 08-Apr-19 18:19:15

The thing is, would you do this if you had no social media accounts to share these daft pictures on? I doubt it.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD Mon 08-Apr-19 18:20:18

The trouble with small children is that they don’t follow instruction.

She will most likely stare at the cake, and then at you as you encourage her to smash it. You will probably end up pushing her hands into the cake as she screams.

She is more likely to smush the cake if you give her a slice and want her to eat it nicely.

I’d just eat the cake.

TheFatberg Mon 08-Apr-19 18:20:59

WishUponAStarBar not at all aimed at you. The snobbery is from most of the people responding who clearly want to say that they see cake smashing as chavvy, but are holding back.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD Mon 08-Apr-19 18:21:28

Oh an of she does smash the cake and gets a lot of positive reinforcement - don’t be surprised when she starts launching herself at other food.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD Mon 08-Apr-19 18:22:41

I’m more practical - I assume a lot of the shots are set up (mum smashes the cake and slaps icing in the baby’s face and in their hair for the perfect shot).

jaseyraex Mon 08-Apr-19 18:23:11

We did a cake smash for DS1. He wouldn't touch the cake. Normally loves getting messy but nope. Money down the drain.

Have you got a phone with a good camera? Put down some sheets and take your own photos.

WishUponAStarBar Mon 08-Apr-19 18:23:15

@DianaPrincessOfThemyscira my daughter has a savings account, but tbh being a single mum and never being able to go out is shit, so taking her to soft play, which costs £1 and going for a meal so I can have a bit of a nice time too, I though wasn't unreasonable. I know other people are single mum's and can't go out, but I want to go out, enjoy some food with my baby and be proud that I've managed to do it alone, celebrating her birthday at the same time.
If IBU for this then that's fine, I've had some pretty dark moments but life is gettin better so I'll try to make myself happy at the same.time as my daughter

Cottonwood Mon 08-Apr-19 18:24:42

No cakes were hurt at this tea party

BeanBag7 Mon 08-Apr-19 18:25:20

I would not bother making a second cake as it probably won't look great and your relative might be offended if they see you've replaced the cake they made you for free.

I would keep the cake as a birthday cake and have a "normal" photoshoot rather than a cake smash one. These can still be fun and colourful, most decent photographers have props you can use, or bring some of dds favourite toys and some bubbles. You can have a lovely photo without a cake in it.

LordNibbler Mon 08-Apr-19 18:25:47

Look OP, I really can't understand cake smashes. It seems like madness to me. But YOU love it, and it's YOUR babies special day. And if it makes you happy go ahead and do it, and don't take any notice of us sour old bags. It'd be a boring world if we all liked the same things.

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