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My sister is faking her pregnancy.

(478 Posts)

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Norrisskipjack Mon 08-Apr-19 17:57:20

Trigger warning in advance I’ll need to speak about baby loss to give context on this one.

I have 2 sisters: A and B.

3 months ago, B’s beautiful little girl Matilda was stillborn at 38 weeks. About 2 weeks after, our sister A announced she was 6 weeks pregnant and for the whole family, it was a very bitter sweet time as you can imagine.

The announcement was a shock for 2 reasons: A is in a bisexual but in a gay relationship and her and her girlfriend have been together a couple of years. Her girlfriend is adamant and always has been that she doesn’t want children.

B was bloody heroic throughout and managed to react excitedly on our WhatsApp when A talked about baby stuff and supported her when A was complaining how bad morning sickness was etc.

A was spectacularly tactless to the point that in the end I called A and explained while I knew how excited she was, she needed to tone it down in the group chat and maybe just message me without B in the chat if there’s things she’s excited about since A would be hurting despite putting on a really brave face.

A went ballistic at me and accused me of jealousy hmm then stopped talking to me but continued to message B with giddy excited pregnancy chat sad

None of us live near each other but we meet up fairly regularly normally. A hasn’t come to any of our meet ups since announcing the pregnancy because she says she doesn’t want to be around me and doesn’t want ‘her bump’ to upset B. Fair enough.

Anyway fast forward to now: I ran in to A’s girlfriend completely by chance on Saturday at an event and did the usual big hello hugs and fuss. I mentioned in passing how excited she must be for the impending arrival and how A must be getting quite big now, but she had NO IDEA what I was talking about.

I don’t know why, but I’d suspected something wasn’t quite right by what A had said before she blocked me so GF’s confusion kind of just confirmed what I already knew. I told GF that A had told us she was pregnant and GF confirmed this was catagorically not true. They live together so I can’t imagine she’d not know.

Anyway, 2 days later A unblocked me and had a WhatsApp rant about me ‘sticking my nose in’. Meanwhile I’d told B what had happened and she confirmed she also suspected the pregnancy wasn’t real.

I haven’t yet responded to the Facebook rant and A during her rant hasn’t confirmed or denied that the pregnancy is fake.

I want to cut her off and not respond but B is keen to understand exactly what’s gone on and why. We haven’t fallen out over it, but we’ve had major disagreements on how to proceed.

WIBU to just cut off A and not engage with the crazy and encourage my sister to do the same, or should we be trying to u defat and what’s actually going on?

I’m 100% sure there is no pregnancy.

headinhands Fri 12-Apr-19 11:01:03

If you don't want to risk it making its way into the Fail don't shout about it on a a busy, well known and public forum.

headinhands Fri 12-Apr-19 10:58:30

our family has the right to privacy in this trying situation, should you want it.

That's all great and everything but op posted on a public forum. It amazes me that we spend so much time teaching our kids to be careful online but then fail to see the irony when we post details of our private lives with attention grabbing thread titles.

DantesInferno Fri 12-Apr-19 09:38:46

You have to love their picture choices, doesn't look like an angry sister to me...

youngscrappyandhungry Fri 12-Apr-19 03:31:14

OP, the same thing happened to me last year: the Sun took my thread seeking advice about a close friend and her abusive fiancé and turned it into an easily identifiable tabloid style article. I was furious and immediately asked for the thread to be deleted by Mumsnet HQ to prevent other outlets from following suit. I also went to the Sun's website and found the email address to report a misprint or inaccuracy in a story. I sent them a request to delete the story from their website and archives as I hadn't given them consent to reproduce my post; plus their article potentially put my friend in danger if her fiancé were to see it. They took it down in less than 3 hours.

I assume they would do the same for you upon request, especially if you complain about the article taking advantage of a grieving mother (Sister B) and exposing potential mental illness in another (Sister A). Your family has the right to privacy in this trying situation, should you want it. It's possible that you've said elsewhere that you don't mind your post being written about in the newspapers, in which case feel free to ignore me! I did my best to RTFT but I might have missed something. Regardless, you're handing an incredibly difficult situation with grace and compassion and should be commended for that. My condolences on the loss of Matilda. thanks

exWifebeginsat40 Thu 11-Apr-19 23:23:01

stop doing it then.

Hearhere Thu 11-Apr-19 21:46:54

Indeed we are so kind and so generous as mumsnetters, we give our time and effort for free creating content for Mumsnet to monetize and we also create content for free for the newspapers

headinhands Thu 11-Apr-19 20:13:21

If I was a journalist charged with finding this sort of story to fill out the gaps in between the bigger stuff I reckon Mumsnet would be the perfect place to look.

Hearhere Thu 11-Apr-19 18:00:28

we are speaking openly in a public place here

Putthatlampshadeonyourhead Thu 11-Apr-19 17:38:05

It's not a safe place. Its social media.

meercat23 Thu 11-Apr-19 15:19:18

Contra I know that is the Mumsnet position but I thought it worth putting the question again as to whether this is the position they should be taking. I guess we just all need to be careful what we post here as, given that is the position, it is not a really safe place.

Contraceptionismyfriend Thu 11-Apr-19 10:39:26

@meercat23 it's been discussed many many many times. MN has said that as this is a public forum nothing is private or copyrighted. Anything posted here can be used anywhere else and there is nothing that can be done about it.

And why would they even if they could? Free advertising is brilliant.

PurpleDaisies Thu 11-Apr-19 10:38:07

No, of course not. I was worried about this happening so I asked the op (thinking she might get the thread pulled). She said she wasn’t bothered.

meercat23 Thu 11-Apr-19 10:37:30

Maybe not purple but the anger against lazy and rubbish journalists is justified.

Go find your own stories. Mumsnet, if your are getting paid for letting the press publish things posted here you should say so. If you are not getting paid it is possible you could copyright so that they cannot just lift stuff. Despicable.

Lifting funny stories is one thing but this thread is about a family hurting because of the action of one family member. Not remotely funny and highly sensitive.

SchoolOfLife2 Thu 11-Apr-19 10:36:43

Purple do you work for DM?

PurpleDaisies Thu 11-Apr-19 10:18:23

I asked the op if she was worried about this turning up in the daily mail back on p2. The op said no, she wasn’t worried about sparing A’s blushes. I’m not sure that the sympathy for it getting published is necessary or justified.

DelilahTheSlagFromTheBible Thu 11-Apr-19 10:15:25

Fuck off Daily Mirror, you shower of twats.

Apologies, OP.

Contraceptionismyfriend Thu 11-Apr-19 10:09:46

I think the worst thing you could do is reach out to her. She will be waiting. She didn't miscarry. She is a spoilt horrible little birch who will keep being vile until you all stop feeding her the attention she craves. Ignore her. If your mum wants to contact her let her. But let her wallow in her self pity.

cuspish Thu 11-Apr-19 09:53:11

absolutely horribly that the mirror have used this story. What utter bastards.

ohfourfoxache Thu 11-Apr-19 09:51:26

Wow. That “journalist” really is a special kind of cunt.

Playmytune Thu 11-Apr-19 09:49:00

Feel so sorry for your dsB. It must’ve have been awful for her when A announced her pregnancy so soon after she lost Matilda. She is one special person, as are you.
Hope your news is good and you’re family have a real baby, instead of A’s pretend one, on the way.

Cheby Thu 11-Apr-19 09:41:25

This is disgusting, the ‘journalist’ should be utterly ashamed of themselves. Jesus, how can they look at themselves every day knowing this is what they do to make a living?

teyem Thu 11-Apr-19 09:19:36

Mumsnet is just cheap copy for failed journalists.

Whoops75 Thu 11-Apr-19 09:14:38

Shame on that paperangry

gertrudejekyll02 Thu 11-Apr-19 09:04:34

That's cracking journalism - lifting it all from Mumsnet!

LagunaBubbles Thu 11-Apr-19 08:50:52

The family's main concern now should be for your sister A's mental health

And that's why she does what she does, knows she will get the attention and drama she wants. Bit like bullies and victims of bullying you see on here, some posters always seem more sympathetic to the poor bullies than the victims.

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