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To be annoyed with friend

(133 Posts)
NC080419 Mon 08-Apr-19 16:58:06

NC for this...

Friend is getting married this month and I am bridesmaid so have been helping her out. A few months ago she was talking about first dance songs, her and her DF are rockers so she was thinking along them lines.

As part of the convo I said that xyz song is mine and DP's song and it will be first dance when we get married because when it was first released he text me two lines from it, and I responded with the next two, we have been to see the band numerous times together, always sing it in the car to each other, cheesy stuff like that.

At the weekend she told me she is currently "trying to convince" her DF to use xyz song for their first dance, but he isn't convinced. All I text back was "that's mine and DPs song because...(reasons listed above)" I know I told her that was our song and the reasons, but I told her again. She still seems dead set on using it.

I have bent over backwards for her for the last two years as the other bridesmaid hasn't been helping (lives abroad). I am doing her wedding cake the days before the wedding, and she does this?? If said band were to walk across the road in front of her car she wouldn't know who they are.

AIBU to be annoyed?

outpinked Mon 08-Apr-19 17:00:20

Are you even engaged yet?

Sonders Mon 08-Apr-19 17:01:04


NC080419 Mon 08-Apr-19 17:01:41

Yes I am.

shumway Mon 08-Apr-19 17:02:16

I'd be annoyed too.

InACheeseAndPickle Mon 08-Apr-19 17:02:41

Surely you can both use the same song?!

turquoisebaby Mon 08-Apr-19 17:02:49

You are being unreasonable, your be sharing any song as your first dance with copious others. No one besides you will even bother noticing the song you have chosen anyway.

Lemonsquinky Mon 08-Apr-19 17:03:45

Grow up. It's a song. Are you old enough to get married without your parents permission, or are you older than 16?

Ratbagcatbag Mon 08-Apr-19 17:04:04

But it's not "your song" as such. Anyone can use it.
We didn't have a song so we randomly played songs until we liked the lyrics for one. I wouldn't know the artist if she fell over me. But I still liked the song.
Sounds like she's really listened to the lyrics after you talked about it and now wants it. Nothing you can do other than smile and be happy for her.
When you get married it will have special meaning to you.
I've been to tons of weddings. Couldn't tell you the first songs from any so it really does only matter to you guys what it is.

Eatmycheese Mon 08-Apr-19 17:04:14

I can understand you being pissed off: i’d have kept it to myself tbh.
What’s the song ?

PengAly Mon 08-Apr-19 17:04:21

YABU. Anyone can use that song, including your friend.

MrsXx4 Mon 08-Apr-19 17:04:33

It seems like a big deal to you but it really won’t matter in years to come. Can’t it also be something nice for you and your friend to share? No one will even put the 2 together if you have it at your wedding too. I’d just get over it if I were you.

louisvootin Mon 08-Apr-19 17:04:40

she is being unreasonable op that s a shitty thing to do my sister did this too me aswell. its a horrible thing to do x

Pbelle Mon 08-Apr-19 17:04:44

Yep. Leave her to it. Nothing against you having the same song and nobody will even remember, believe me.
Be flattered, she likes the song that you picked and is not imaginative enough to find her own.
Life is too short (and friendship too precious) to get worked up over something like that.

FlopsyMopsyRabbit Mon 08-Apr-19 17:05:00


MyKingdomForBrie Mon 08-Apr-19 17:07:39

I'd be flattered, it's nice that she likes your taste and wants the same. It won't be any less special for you, it's not only special because you're the only people who like that song - it's special because of your memories and attachment to it. It won't be anywhere near as special to her but that doesn't matter either - just live and let live.

MeredithGrey1 Mon 08-Apr-19 17:08:04

Depends on the song. Generally I would say you are being unreasonable, an exception would be if it is a really outside the box type wedding song, that no one else would ever have. But still, it would have to be very niche for me to think its reasonable to be bothered by it.

AnneLovesGilbert Mon 08-Apr-19 17:08:43

Feel sorry for her that she has to borrow your song which means nothing to her, and that she’s now spatting with her DP about it.

Two years?! I feel for you. I’m never being a BM again. Epic ballache.

AliceRR Mon 08-Apr-19 17:10:52


She’s being shitty

louisvootin Mon 08-Apr-19 17:12:06

what is the song op?

Iltavilli Mon 08-Apr-19 17:12:45

I REALLY hope it’s Rammstein’s Du Hast and she doesn’t understand the lyrics

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc Mon 08-Apr-19 17:13:58

My friend had a song I really liked for her first dance, so i had it for walking down aisle.No biggie.

adulthumanwolf Mon 08-Apr-19 17:15:46

Down with the sickness?

PolPotNoodle Mon 08-Apr-19 17:16:54

This screams Panic at the Disco to me.

Chocolateisfab Mon 08-Apr-19 17:17:33

Note to self to never let on to a chosen baby name.

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