I feel an absolute failure and horrible person for writing this but I don’t like my daughter. She is 14, almost 15 and I really struggle to have that mother daughter relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I love her and wouldn’t want anything to happen to her but I sometimes wish I could put her into care. When she was growing up she was a lovely polite girl with lots of friends and adults couldn’t compliment me enough about her. Now she is a lying deceitful troublemaking child. She is the second child and has 3 brothers who are 16, 12 and 10. Every chance she gets she tries to get them into trouble or bring them into a situation when she is being told off. We are a close and stable family but she chooses to set herself away from the rest of us. We went on a family holiday to Turkey in August 2018 and she made the 2 wks a living hell. Every day she caused arguments between everyone. She said that she is the black sheep of the family and she is abused by me, my husband and 3 boys because we do nothing but pick on her. She said she was going to tell her School about how we treat her. I honestly don’t know what to do. I try in every way to involve her. I thought she might be jealous because I am very close to my 3 boys so have arranged for just me and her to do things together like shopping, going to the hairdressers etc but she acts sullen and barely speaks to me. She has little or no respect for anyone in the family. If I am giving her into trouble she will either walk out or argue back. I am scared to even say good morning to her because I never know what mood she will be in. I only have to ask her a simple question and she will fly off the handle. If we fall out before she goes to school I think of her all day and send her messages asking if she’s ok which she ignores. When she comes in I will tell her that I’ve thought about her all day and want us to talk things through. She usually just shrugs her shoulders and tells me that she hasn’t thought of me at all. I know it could just be her age and maybe we have to try and work through this but it has been going on for about 3 years now. Ever since she started her period. She has no pride in her appearance, doesn’t wear make up or takes care of her hair. She said to me about a year ago she was bisexual, I told her it didn’t matter if she was straight, gay or Bi as long as she was happy. 6 months ago she told me she was gay. Again I said it didn’t matter what she was, as long as she was happy. She has told me in the past that she has a gf. I’ve said to invite her round for dinner so we can meet her and she goes crazy saying I’m poking my nose into her business. I would do the exact same thing if she was dating a boy. She tells the most ridiculous lies too. Lies about things people have said and done. I think the bi/gay thing is probably a lie too for attention. (I would never say that to her though) She was boy crazy just over a year ago. Anyway, I’ve waffled on enough, I just don’t know what to do about her. She already hates me, I feel like giving up.
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