Talk

Advanced search

WIBU to ring GP/social services?

(12 Posts)
YouLookNiceJackie Mon 08-Apr-19 14:38:37

I clean for a man who's 80 (I'll call him Jim) and a lady a few doors down from him (I'll call her Dot) who's 87. Jim has a next door neighbour who has quite severe dementia (Marj) and is also 87. Marj's husband let's her wonder off, wear soiled clothes, doesn't take her to dr when needed etc. Both Jim and Dot are getting increasingly worried for her safety and wellbeing but don't feel like they can call anyone incase Marj's dh thinks it's them. Jim had a wife with dementia and he tried to give the dh some advice and told him about day centres etc but he doesn't want to spend any money on her even though he claims benefits to car for her and openly admits he has thousands in the bank. He was at Bob's when I was cleaning and the topic of getting a nurse came up and he said only if she gives her cyanide with her dinner. Marj asked him to take her to visit her mum (forgetting she passed away 20 years ago) and he said she's been burnt along time ago. Marj is constantly turning up at Dots and becoming aggressive when she asks her to leave and has at times had to take her out with her shopping because the husband goes out for hours on end and Dot is very caring and won't leave her on her own. On the shopping trip she wondered off and Dot had to go in and out of shops looking for her. When she told dh he said you should of just left her there and come home.
Dot is a very petite lady and so very kind that I worry if something happens to Marj she will blame herself even though its not her responsibility. She seems exhausted with it and has told dh but he doesn't listen and continues to use her. Also Marj is much bigger and gets aggressive. The way he speaks to hear is disgusting and abusive. Should I call somebody or stay out of it? Bob and Dot are both happy for me to ring for advice.

Charmatt Mon 08-Apr-19 14:41:45

I'd ring social services and ask their advice because she is vulnerable and you are worried she is being neglected and becoming a danger to herself.

Idontmeanto Mon 08-Apr-19 14:43:47

Call adult social care at your local council.

As476 Mon 08-Apr-19 14:48:16

Phone adult social services OP. They we’re really helpful when I needed help with my Nan. I would alert them of the situation and give as many facts as you can 😊

YouLookNiceJackie Mon 08-Apr-19 14:48:43

Thank you. I have got their number. Wasn't sure if they'd deal with my concern due to me not being directly involved with Marj but I hear enough awful stuff from neighbours to be concerned.
Sorry just realised I changed Jim to Bob half way through!

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Mon 08-Apr-19 14:49:40

ditto - adult social care at the LA

DerelictWreck Mon 08-Apr-19 14:49:44

My god yes tell someone. This poor vulnerable lady is being abused and neglected.

DerelictWreck Mon 08-Apr-19 14:50:03

sorrry, xpost

YouLookNiceJackie Mon 08-Apr-19 14:55:07

I asked Dot to speak to age concern when she goes to a meeting there but she's so intimidated by the dh. I've got the ladies date of birth, gp and adress so that should help. She was wondering the streets in her pjs and the dh was so annoyed by her.
I met her about a year ago and she was such a proud, immaculate lady and when I saw her today I barely recognised her so definitely ringing SS today. Thanks everyone.

Andro Mon 08-Apr-19 14:57:05

They'll listen to you OP, I had to do this when I was concerned that a lady I knew (but had no direct involvement with) needed help. They got in touch with the necessary people who ensure she received the necessary input.

LakieLady Mon 08-Apr-19 15:21:27

Yes, report, this is clearly a safeguarding issue.

I wonder if they have any children, and if so, if they are aware?

GreenTulips Mon 08-Apr-19 15:24:01

I’ve reported old ladies wondering round in the nighties and cold days

The police were very kind and she got help

Do it, as nobody else will

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »