Firstly - I just want to say that this is not a SAHP/WOHP debate or bashing, I’m simply just talking about my own situation.
I have two sons, aged 5 and almost 2 and I have a job that I love 99% of the time.
After going back to work following the birth of my second son I reduced my hours to 25 a week mainly because I wanted to be at home more for my children. I currently work two days a week (sometimes an extra day for some extra money) and otherwise I am home with the children. For the 2-3 days a week that I work they are in paid childcare.
I love being able to spend so much time with them, I love being able to take my son to school and pick him up, I love being able to go for days out with my youngest, I love it that I can attend assemblies at my son’s school and go in on the days they have activities for the parents to join in with etc and I feel that me being around so much is really important to me and to them.
When I was a child my mom worked Mon-Fri, 9-5 and when I look back on my childhood I don’t have that many memories of general day-to-day life with her because most of my time was spent in childcare. I would have loved her to have been around more and it’s partly because of that, that I made the decision to reduce my hours at work after my second son.
However - I have very recently seen a job advertised that sounds fantastic and it has always been something I have considered doing and I think I would really enjoy it. Career wise, it would make real sense to apply for the job and if I got it then it would mean climbing up the next rung of the ladder, but the timing just feels so bad because of the children
The job is full time and due to the hours it would dramatically cut down on how much time I spend with my children and it would mean that I wouldn’t be able to do any of the things that I mentioned above regarding the benefits of me only working two days a week.
My children would be in childcare five days a week and I would probably only seen them for 3 hours a day (Mon-Fri) which I can’t even imagine doing
Part of me knows that these early years with them are so important and that I have another 20 years left in my career to think about myself but it still feels a bit crappy to not apply for a job that I think I’d be really good at and love because I I’m putting my children’s needs before my own.
My husband works Mon-Fri, leaves the house at 7am and is back at 5pm and it’s not an issue at all - so why do I feel so, so guilty about potentially doing the same?
I know that I will never get these years back with my children and that I’m incredibly lucky to be able to work part time so why am I feeling so conflicted about what to do?
I see it said on here all the time that on our death bed we will never say “I wish I had worked more” over saying “I wish I had been at home more.” (or something to that affect).
I’m sorry this is so long - I’m just rambling because I feel so confused about what I should do.
I haven’t mentioned the job to my husband yet because I want to get my thoughts straight in my head first in terms of whether I apply for it or not.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Or can anyone offer any general advice?
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146 replies
QueenofmyPrinces · 08/04/2019 08:47
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