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to be pissed off DH has been reading my MN posts?

(103 Posts)
SadOtter Sun 07-Apr-19 23:33:57

and that I found this out when we were arguing earlier and he decided to quote me (argument was coz he's quit his job without talking to me, no back up plan, just quit. We were already struggling to make ends meet).

Thing is the post he quoted was weeks ago, it was a pretty throw away, life is too short type post, and he's admitted he was actively checking what I was talking to people about! I haven't actually posted anything I mind him reading but at the same time it feels like an invasion of privacy.

Add in that he also commented on me looking at houses on rightmove which he's decided clearly means I am planning to leave (I'm not, my class were looking at houses and I needed floor plans to use as examples). He has told me he checks my internet history. I haven't actually got anything to hide but why is he even checking what I do online? He checks my phone too, I've caught him a couple of times.

His argument is I check DD's devices, which yeah ok, I do but she is 10, that's not the same thing!

I've not name changed btw, because actually if I'm wrong I will apologise to him and if not, well, maybe next time he snoops he needs to see the replies...

QueenAnneBoleyn Sun 07-Apr-19 23:36:58

YANBU. He needs to grow up.
Has he always checked up on you or is this a recent development?

AyoadesChinDimple Sun 07-Apr-19 23:38:55

Not U at all.

Hope Mr Nosy sees this too.

justasking111 Sun 07-Apr-19 23:40:09

Goodness does he have nothing better to do than check your internet history. I hope he does read this and realise he is being a pillock.

frenchonion Sun 07-Apr-19 23:40:47

I'd fucking hate this! Actually, I wouldn't put up with it. Wtf is he worried about?! Can he articulate why he doesn't trust you?

LadyFuchsiaGroan Sun 07-Apr-19 23:41:03

He sounds a right cunt

waves to Mr SadOtter

gamerchick Sun 07-Apr-19 23:42:03

He's acting like a dick. Is he insecure in general?

Usually it could mean they've done something to hide and believe that you're also capable of it. As they hide it so well....

frenchonion Sun 07-Apr-19 23:42:52

I'd be super tempted to do some weird and wonderful searches though. 'how to secretly emigrate to Aruba', 'I'm so dissatisfied with my husbands tiny willy' and such 😂

miaCara Sun 07-Apr-19 23:43:42

Nasty behaviour from your DH which often hides a guilty secret .
You arent 10 and you havent been critical of your DH ( which I admire you for)so what is he looking for?
And why DID he quit his job without another job lined up? Seems like he needs to grow up - and quickly. No-one would blame you for leaving this manchild.

Singlenotsingle Sun 07-Apr-19 23:43:53

It doesn't really help him in any way, shape or form if he gets the wrong idea though - thinking you want to move just because you've been on Rightmove. Anyway, if he feels entitled to check up on you, surely it works both ways?

frenchonion Sun 07-Apr-19 23:45:20

In my experience insecure weirdness like this comes from the fact that he's up to some dodgy shit himself.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks Sun 07-Apr-19 23:45:30

Hello Mr SadOtter!! You are being a Twat!!

Absolutepowercorrupts Sun 07-Apr-19 23:46:49

I wouldn't be happy about that, he's got a cheek comparing you to your 10 year old.
I'd be really pissed off if my husband was checking my internet history.

Hello Mr Sad Otter
👋👋
Now off you fuck and mind your own business

SimplyPut Sun 07-Apr-19 23:49:48

I simply would never trust a man who thought so little of me.

JenMumma Sun 07-Apr-19 23:49:54

Hmmm, sad strange little man. Maybe a job would help with the obvious boredom ? 🤔

Mememeplease Sun 07-Apr-19 23:50:19

That shows a compete lack of respect. I'm not sure I could continue a relationship with someone so distrustful and disrespectful. Trust is a most important relationship priority for me. It could be a deal breaker.

Whoops75 Sun 07-Apr-19 23:51:41

YANBU
Not ok behavior at all angry

WatchingFromTheWings Sun 07-Apr-19 23:52:46

In my experience insecure weirdness like this comes from the fact that he's up to some dodgy shit himself.

Yup. Guilty conscience springs to mind.

TitusP Sun 07-Apr-19 23:53:26

I think the comments about you checking your daughter's phone is very telling. He sees himself as having power and control over you like a parent can to a child.

UrsulaPandress Sun 07-Apr-19 23:54:38

Clearly has issues and needs to sort himself out. Perhaps by getting a job to occupy himself.

Whoops75 Sun 07-Apr-19 23:55:46

Be careful what crap you take from him, your daughter is watching.

DangerMouse17 Sun 07-Apr-19 23:56:48

People that do this, do it because they judge others by their own standards.

He is likely the one that needs watching! Definite red flag OP.

SadOtter Sun 07-Apr-19 23:58:41

Has he always checked up on you or is this a recent development? As far as I know it's a recent thing.

@frenchonion you are a genius. I'm going to google so much crap!

why DID he quit his job without another job lined up? He had an argument with his boss about pay (because he felt he was underpaid) and apparently sticking it out whilst job hunting didn't occur to him. As for what he's looking for, I don't know. In the past 18 months I finished my degree, started my masters, started a new career and made new work friends, I think he's jealous.

Hearhere Sun 07-Apr-19 23:59:00

He sounds weird sinister and controlling, for a kick-off I'd be securing all my devices so he can't even look at my history
What a nosey fu(ker he is

gamerchick Sun 07-Apr-19 23:59:56

Fact is he's diverted or diluted your attention from the job thing. He knows it's out of order but would rather you be cross about something else instead.

You need a proper sit down conversation with him about finances and not let him deviate away from it OP. We can slate him until the cows come home but this is your life and marriage. Dont let him distract you.

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