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To ask if you have small DCs and a retired DH?

(11 Posts)
drspouse Sun 07-Apr-19 22:10:46

And if so, how's it working out for you?
DH is early 60s and our DCs are early primary age. DS has SEN. DH has been seconded at work, but his old role doesn't exist any more and he's been interviewed for a longer term appointment to his current role He's wondering about retiring now if he doesn't get it.
We are currently both part time, but the long term plan was for him to decrease his hours and I'd go back to full time.
DS may be going to quite a distant special school which is another consideration. If he does go he'd get transport I'm assuming but DH is wondering if it would help to have him at home.
I like working part time I think! So not really sure what I think.

MereDintofPandiculation Sun 07-Apr-19 22:34:13

DH took early retirement to be a SAHD to DCs, then 4 and 7, but I was working full time, so it didn't involve me increasing my hours. DH wasn't the most "hands on" dad, but DCs have turned out all right and have a good relationship with both of us. So it worked well for us.

Pinkarsedfly Sun 07-Apr-19 22:36:03

Could be an ideal solution!

Singlenotsingle Sun 07-Apr-19 22:39:30

If you can afford for him to retire, it would solve any childcare problems - unless he then decides that life is easier out working!

drspouse Sun 07-Apr-19 22:42:59

He might well do single!

ChidiAnnaKendrick Sun 07-Apr-19 22:43:38

A friend of mine has a (retired) SAHH and two small children. She works full time. They are honestly one of the happiest couples I know! It works so well smile

cadburyegg Sun 07-Apr-19 22:45:11

Not me, but my dad was made redundant at 56 when I was 3. He never got another job and my mum went back to working full time. Long story short, he wasn’t suited to being a SAHD and my childhood suffered as a result.

If your DH is a hands on capable father than it will be absolutely fine. But being a stay at home parent isn’t suited to everyone and that includes both men and women. It has to work for the whole family.

drspouse Sun 07-Apr-19 22:51:20

He is hands on and capable. He's great at things like advocating for DS and organising days out etc.
But he's not as into some of the things I do, that I like doing (gardening, cooking from scratch) and also things I don't like as such but do quicker or more easily than him (e.g. I sew for pleasure but this means I do all the knee patching, hem taking up, badge sewing, yawn).

Shylo Sun 07-Apr-19 22:57:35

What’s going to happen in the longer term drspouse? Do you not want to go back to work full time now or not go back ever .... and if not ever then can you cope financially on your part time wage ?

If you need to go back full time sooner or later I’d go now and leave my DH home with the children

drspouse Sun 07-Apr-19 23:02:30

I'm currently on 0.8 and I was thinking I'd go back full time maybe when they got to secondary age.
So it's not a huge difference financially in my wage (just in DH's obviously).

drspouse Mon 08-Apr-19 15:16:06

Further thoughts... I have in the past used parental leave to take more holiday/weeks off with the DCs (saving my AL for when I need a single day either with the DCs or to have a rest/get stuff done). As my DS has SEN we can now take it in parts of weeks too.
However, I'm thinking that it would be more advantageous to be part time still, and NOT take unpaid parental leave - because then work are more likely (ha!) to give me a part load but financially it will be the same.

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