To be worried about his ex?(13 Posts)
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I've recently been chatting to a guy from my childhood.
He's really nice. Always had a thing for him, but we drifted apart.
We haven't met up yet but we are planning to.
My concern his is ex. She is absolutely gorgeous. I'm ok. I look after myself, enjoy looking good and dressing nice and I'm often complimented and told I'm pretty. But she is out of this world gorgeous. Will I always feel inferior if this works out? Anyone else been with someone who's ex is like a super model.
I know this might not even come to anything. But I've been basically used by the last two men I've been with. Act like a girlfriend for months then get told they aren't ready for a relationship. I want something serious and I've told him this. I don't want to start ANYTHING if there's a strong chance it'll hurt me as I've really been hurt recently.
Am I being silly? Should I give it a go?
If you already have this feeling of inferiority, then I would pass.
These attempts at a relationship with someone you've always held a torch for don't often end well.
She's his ex for a reason. Doesn't matter what she looks like. YOLO, go for it I say
I do feel inferior. She just has the perfect body and well. Quit simply mine isn't.
@MolyHolyGuacamole yes she is defo an ex for a reason.
I've been with very good looking men. Also not very good looking men. And I've never compared. So I'm not sure why I think he will.
I've never compared any of my past partners. Each one is an individual. She is his ex for a reason. They weren't compatible. Maybe you are. You never know if you don't try. You are not inferior to anyone.
You haven’t even met up yet - don’t stress about it. Just meet up and enjoy how it goes, or not, in which case you’ve worried yourself for nothing.
My DH has some stunning exes, I remember him bumping into one of them when I was with him and I felt like an absolute hobbit standing beside her. It took me a while to realise that not looking like that makes me in no way inferior. Me and DH work well together and being attracted to each other is part of that but our looks are going to change over the course of our lives (and already have in the time that we've been together) so personality and compatibility matters more than anything. I would choose my DH over any male model so likewise why would he not choose me over some female super model? We've got more to offer each other than looks.
I work in a very male dominated industry and have seen quite a number that I thought were attractive at first meeting. Sadly I find some don’t really meet expectations in the brains or personality department and I quickly go off them. The ones I’m generally most attracted to are clever and funny with great conversation - in which case their looks seems to be a secondary consideration. This ex may be gorgeous with all the intelligence and personality but they may not have been a good fit for lots of reasons. You two might just work better together but nothing ventured nothing gained.
I was the ahem ‘largest woman’ DH ever dated and he was the slimmest I had ever dated, I knew his previous GF of a few years was petite and slim, hourglass figure and very pretty and I am average height, and overweight (chunky) I thought similarly to you but gave it a shot anyway and we hit it off well, pretty well as we’ve been together ever since! Not saying that’s how it goes every time, but I treated my first Date with DH as a chance to at least make a new friend, then I just went with my gut after that. I understand you had a thing for this man when younger but maybe try the same? It may not go the way you’d like, but at least then you’ll know
Ah well I’m not the best person to give fashion advice, I always went with clothes I found comfortable but that I felt flattered me, I dressed how I like to when meeting up with friends I guess? Sorry I’m fairly tomboyish so not great at that sort of advice 😂 good luck and have fun 😊😊
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