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To hate these social media obsessed days?

(79 Posts)
knobblykneesandturnedouttoes Sun 07-Apr-19 16:42:10

Went out for dinner with friends last night. Go out with them about once a month but I’m really starting to not want to go. We have a nice time together but every time we go we now have about 100 photos taken. I really hate having my picture taken but where it used to be one photo of us all together, Apparently now we have to all have selfies, then all the food and cocktails have to be photographed. Then group photos. Then puddings. Even the coffees/hotchocolates were photographed. Later in the evening 2 of us went to the toilets together and my friend actually tried to get me to have a photo with her. I drew the line at that and said I’d rather not but felt like a joyless freak with the shocked look she gave me.

I love these ladies we’ve been friends since school. But I feel sad that they’re becoming so Snapchat/instagram obsessed. Maybe I’m boring. Maybe I’m old before my time. I just feel like this is such a teenage thing to do. We’re all late 30’s not kids.

I don’t mind a group photo with them or the odd one or two through the night but it seems like they’re always on their phones. Anyway I think I might give the next one a miss.

Or do I say something? I mean we’re very close but I think they might think I’m being snobby or judgy

SimonJT Sun 07-Apr-19 19:19:02

I do have an instagram account, I rarely post and I never post pictures of my son unless he is facing away and cannot be identified.

It’s an odd one, my ex uses it a lot as it’s essentially vital for his career, he isn’t overly posy etc though and will happily post a picture where he looks like he has been dragged through a hedge backwards. People’s reactions are extreme though, he once posted a picture of us together and tagged me in for all of thirty seconds before removing it, but the damage was done, it was shared, screen shotted etc and I got literally thousands of horrid messages etc from jealous fans, not a pleasant thing to experience.

I would never post someones photo without their permission, I wouldn’t intentionally take someone’s picture without their permissio either, it’s a very personal thing.

Breathingfire Sun 07-Apr-19 19:34:06

I recently got rid of Facebook and instagram. I've still got messenger. I was sick of seeing people showing off things I didn't deem worthy of showing off, it was bringing me no pleasure and I felt myself rolling my eyes far too much.

I have to laugh though, two of my friends have actually started using messenger to send me the crap they post on Facebook. "Don't I look nice today?" "Look at the cake I've made!" "Doesn't this stir fry look lush" 🙄
I just don't even know what to say

PrettyReckless Sun 07-Apr-19 19:51:39

I notice this reliance on pictures to tell the world how great everything is.

I may out myself but I’ve given up social media for lent. It’s been very refreshing and done my mental health the world of good. I don’t intend on going back tbh.

Have deleted apps for FB and Insta, have taken fewer pictures myself (not that I took a lot and shared my life but I was becoming “stuck” to my phone and thinking “that’s a good picture for Insta blush), have been present with my family and unplugged from it all. It’s only MN I’ve been on and tbh that’s been too much too (dam the iPhone weekly update on usage blush)

One thing I have found is the lack of contact from friends whilst being off SM. We are so reliant on SM feeding us information on people’s lives. Not heard from more than 5 friends since pancake day sad (I’ve also called friends and done my part but it hasn’t exactly been two way with some people)

Noonooyou Sun 07-Apr-19 20:14:31

pretty whilst i agree, I guess that would happen either way?
Social media aside, I had a few friends who I used to see fairly regularly and then one day I thought about it and realised it's always me planning these. Well I haven't heard from them since and its really sad.

Ragwort Sun 07-Apr-19 20:17:34

Perhaps it’s my age but no one in my social circle does this, thank goodness. It would be beyond odd if anyone got out their phone to take a photo during an evening out. <obviously we are old gimmers>.

WallyTheWasher Sun 07-Apr-19 20:23:17

One thing I have found is the lack of contact from friends whilst being off SM. We are so reliant on SM feeding us information on people’s lives. Not heard from more than 5 friends since pancake day sad (I’ve also called friends and done my part but it hasn’t exactly been two way with some people)

100%. I think people forget about you and FB was a prompt. I really wish the whole thing would implode along with the DM and Kardashians (but keep Mumsnet!!!)

Thatsalovelycuppatea Sun 07-Apr-19 20:23:17

Yes it's annoying. However I get more annoyed that my dh is constantly on it but when I ask him why when we are out he gets shirty. It's just an awful habit people have got into instead of respecting the company you are in.

PeoniesandPretties Sun 07-Apr-19 20:31:43

It will have its day and something else will replace it, those of us with younger children have the opportunity to attempt to sway them away im trying very hard! What happened to taking your disposal camera out on a night out?!
Both me and dh aren't in sm anymore and like you say people drift as your not ramming updates up their nose constantly.
Embarrassing enough my df has stumbled across fb in his pensioner years and is hooked! Really hopes that passes, he doesn't post but gives us a commentary of what he sees! Lol

BackinTimeforBeer Sun 07-Apr-19 20:36:41

I don't know many people who behave like that - sil did a facebook post when we were out and we all queried why she felt the need - she said she wanted everyone to know she was having a nice time - but we weren't enjoying each other's company whilst she was posting. She is the only one thankfully - I'd hate it - even our teens know better than to behave like that - phones whilst socialising is a no no.

Supercuts Sun 07-Apr-19 20:40:45

Just don’t join in with it. Can’t you explain to them that it’s all a bit, erm, not classy?!

bunchoftulipsanddaffs Sun 07-Apr-19 20:43:13

It reeks of desperation! Tell them to stop it!

StephsCaddy Sun 07-Apr-19 20:43:15

I hate it so now the only social media I do is Mumsnet. I’m thinking of taking a break from it though as this site is unbelievably addictive.

I was recently out for a meal and the table next to us was a large inter generational of about 15 people. The grandparents were very elderly and infirm but the teenagers of the party spent the entire time glued to their screen and I just found it very sad.

bunchoftulipsanddaffs Sun 07-Apr-19 20:47:29

One of our relatives is mercilessly teased for posting food pictures whenever she goes out. Even an M&S sandwich gets the Facebook treatment! She came from a poor family though and I think eating out is still a huge treat for her even though she’s in her 50s.

I think this is the reason some people do it. They find going out a huge treat and something special. Others, who do it a lot, just want to show off however!

Bemusedagain Sun 07-Apr-19 20:55:24

YANBU. I went out with friends last night. None of us are on Facebook or snapbook or whatever the latest wanky social shit is. No photos were taken, nobody had their phones out, nobody other than us knew we were there. It’s called privacy and it rocks. I don’t really need for Roger who I haven’t seen or spoke to in 25 years to know that I ate a prawn fajita in Wetherspoons. Nobody cares. We had the best night. It’s called being a grown up and being normal.

Ohhellothereladyface Sun 07-Apr-19 21:02:17

Me!!!! No social media accounts other than Mumsnet. People think this is really weird and there’s a bit of a “who does she think she is” type reaction, it’s nothing to do with snobbery (far from it, I am the furthest thing from a snob) and more to do with 1) how I compare my life to others on social media and think mine is rubbish and 2) I hate the lack of privacy
Also people think I have DD chained up in the loft and we never do anything nice together because I don’t document it all on Facebook to prove what a good mummy I am 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Zerrin13 Sun 07-Apr-19 21:08:45

I have a really lovely friend who posts the most mundane drivel. She adopted a cat recently. The cat had to stay indoors for the first 2 weeks. When the cat could finally go out she posted it on Facebook. She received a bunch of petrol station flowers from a visitor yesterday so had to post a picture of them ?? They werent particularly nice! It's all boring crap and belongs in just your life and not everyone else's. I detest having my photo taken. I can't understand why everyone wants to keep photographing themselves and everything else. It's complete and utter boring shit.

knobblykneesandturnedouttoes Sun 07-Apr-19 21:09:56

It’s difficult though because while I do hate it, I have Facebook too. I post on it probably about once every 6-8 weeks, with a photo of my kids, for relatives who live away to keep in touch with them. So I do feel it’s a valuable thing. I also enjoy seeing friends and family and their updates on Facebook.

I hide the ones who post 3 or 4 times a day with how they’re feeling/ what they’re eating/ what their partner has done. And I’m only friends with actual friends or family.

So I don’t feel like I should be dictating to them about their social media. I’d be upset if someone tried to tell me to stop using it.

I suppose I just wish someone never started the latest craze of documenting every moment, and we could go back to when Facebook was for special moments.

Sometimes I go to work on a Monday and I know that my colleague has had a row with her boyfriend on a Friday night, but then he’s bought her flowers and they’ve made up. Or that my boss has queued for hours to buy something in Argos and she didn’t like it so had to queue for hours to return it. And she was fuming about it!
It all seems so ridiculous.

Snapchat too, I have it, and use it to actually chat with these same friends via the private messaging part. But when I got home, I had about 30 snaps. All from them.

WorraLiberty Sun 07-Apr-19 21:16:37

It’s difficult though because while I do hate it, I have Facebook too. I post on it probably about once every 6-8 weeks, with a photo of my kids, for relatives who live away to keep in touch with them.

Yeah but you could just as easily email them to be fair.

There's no need for anyone to be putting photos of other people on social media sites without their permission and that includes kids imo.

NoHolidaysforyou Sun 07-Apr-19 21:17:15

I have not had social media since 2012. I have never regretted not having it. It also makes me see people who are social media obsessed through a different lens, the mental illness and self mutilation in terms of cosmetic surgery that only looks good in a photoshopped picture is much more apparent to me... I feel like I'm one of a small group of normal people these days. I also am far from family, but I use the ancient technology of email when sending pictures of our DC. 🤷

bunchoftulipsanddaffs Sun 07-Apr-19 21:17:33

knobblykneesandturnedouttoes just open a WhatsApp group with all the relatives in.

morefoolyou Sun 07-Apr-19 21:22:21

Social media has gone way overboard
It rules so many people's lives
I recently deleted fb and it is the best thing I've ever done

Oh, and when are people going to start showing their teeth and smiling again?
Those stupid fucking duck face pouts. It's tiresome and ridiculous

NoHolidaysforyou Sun 07-Apr-19 21:22:25

I would not post info/pics of your kids publically on social media. Otherwise you are practically handing them over to identity theives of the future imo. Mother's maiden name, birth date, school name, town they grew up in, pictures of home, hobbies etc all available online... It's mad what some people do to their kids.

morefoolyou Sun 07-Apr-19 21:23:24

This just about covers it

WallyTheWasher Sun 07-Apr-19 21:25:10

Social media is the reason for the explosion in mental illness.

morefoolyou Sun 07-Apr-19 21:31:44

@WallyTheWasher I couldn't agree more

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