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To hate these social media obsessed days?

(79 Posts)
knobblykneesandturnedouttoes Sun 07-Apr-19 16:42:10

Went out for dinner with friends last night. Go out with them about once a month but I’m really starting to not want to go. We have a nice time together but every time we go we now have about 100 photos taken. I really hate having my picture taken but where it used to be one photo of us all together, Apparently now we have to all have selfies, then all the food and cocktails have to be photographed. Then group photos. Then puddings. Even the coffees/hotchocolates were photographed. Later in the evening 2 of us went to the toilets together and my friend actually tried to get me to have a photo with her. I drew the line at that and said I’d rather not but felt like a joyless freak with the shocked look she gave me.

I love these ladies we’ve been friends since school. But I feel sad that they’re becoming so Snapchat/instagram obsessed. Maybe I’m boring. Maybe I’m old before my time. I just feel like this is such a teenage thing to do. We’re all late 30’s not kids.

I don’t mind a group photo with them or the odd one or two through the night but it seems like they’re always on their phones. Anyway I think I might give the next one a miss.

Or do I say something? I mean we’re very close but I think they might think I’m being snobby or judgy

Foslady Sun 07-Apr-19 17:00:21

YANBU. It’s just caused a massive fallout within our family to the point that people are NC due to others lack of regard to privacy boundaries WRT social media. Used properly it can be great, used improperly it’s a bloody nightmare

knobblykneesandturnedouttoes Sun 07-Apr-19 17:14:50

To be honest it’s not just the social media part that bothers me it’s the constant stopping to smile etc. I’m not photogenic and I have low self esteem anyway so having my picture taken has always been horrible for me.

That’s my issue, and shouldn’t affect their night out. I just can’t relax.

Bedsidedrawer Sun 07-Apr-19 17:15:20

I'm also beginning to hate the nice photo pressure. I was out the other night and I just sensed no one was entirely relaxed because there is this expectation to perform on social media. Every time I went to the loo it was full of young ladies taking selfies.
It's a bit dystopian

MIA12 Sun 07-Apr-19 17:18:52

Yanbu. It’s definitely worth telling them you’re finding it a bit overwhelming to be constantly taking photos instead of enjoying your time out. If they’re decent friends they’ll stop rather than have you miss out on seeing them.

DoNotEatYellowSnow Sun 07-Apr-19 17:20:52

I fucking hate it too. Let's be friends x

bibbitybobbityyhat Sun 07-Apr-19 17:22:27


Firstworddinosaur Sun 07-Apr-19 17:22:45

YANBU I hate it too. Why can't they just enjoy the moment FFS?!

anitagreen Sun 07-Apr-19 17:29:01

I hate it also I recently just deleted Instagram and a lot of social media apps going through a bad spell of Anxiety and I realised that a lot of is fuelled by stuff I read or see online. Every single one of my friends lives their life on Instagram 24.7 and it sickens me I have a friend who would post a photo of their child when their on the potty and it's just to much. But even since I've deleted the apps I'm still on my phone way to much I've just replaced the apps with other stuff I do get fufillment out of but that still annoys me

Shiverrrrmetimbers Sun 07-Apr-19 17:31:24

I love to take photos to remember a night out. But that’s usually one or two. Taking hundreds through the night is strange - you’re meant to be enjoying each other’s company not curating a blog.

LeilaDarling Sun 07-Apr-19 18:05:41

So with you on this!
Sick to death of EVERY occassion becoming a photo opportunity or “tag” - so tedious and attention seeking. In fact I utterly rue the day we became so SM fuelled and obsessed.

knobblykneesandturnedouttoes Sun 07-Apr-19 18:09:52

Glad I’m not the only one! I felt like the only one last night. The tables at all sides of us were doing the same so I’m certainly looking ugly in the background of a few more photos than the ones I knew about. Literally every few seconds there was a flash from somewhere.

Slowknitter Sun 07-Apr-19 18:17:17

YANBU. I've just quit social media, permanently I think. I was only on Instagram and Facebook and I don't miss them in the slightest. I just read a book called Digital Minimalism and it really put me off the whole thing. I'm fed up with my opinions, mood and information consumption being constantly nudged and controlled by big media corporations for their massive financial gain.

I'm afraid MN is going to have to go too though. It's too addictive and opinion-forming and can definitely affect my mood!

OneStepSideways Sun 07-Apr-19 18:27:54

I hate it too. A friend of mine documents every mundane detail of her life on FB. Photos of her kids doing everydaily things like eating, bathing, playing on the beach, at ballet, having ice cream, with captions about how amazing they are and what a proud mummy she is. Lots of hashtags! Photos of herself she photoshops so if you hadn't met her in real life you'd think she was slim with bright white teeth and strikingly light blue penetrating eyes. She puts the same filter on her daughter's eyes which seems bizarre and sad. Every trip to A&E gets documented too. And the inside of every holiday caravan including the toilet, appears on my news feed!?!

Her latest thing is an Instagram page about 'doing good deeds' she plans to document every good deed she does. This includes volunteering. Surely you do good deeds or volunteer to make a difference to others, not to brag about on social media? It all comes across so false and attention seeking.

In real life she's a nice girl, she's said a few times she's bored being a SAHM. Maybe SM gives her a self esteem boost, or a stage to act out a fantasy version of her life.

Siameasy Sun 07-Apr-19 18:38:31

Hate social media and came off it.
Hate this need to photograph absolutely everything and I consciously try not to go crazy.

Pinkarsedfly Sun 07-Apr-19 18:41:13

Feels like the fucking end times.

At least future generations will know what happened to us; ‘They disappeared up their own arseholes.’

EmeraldShamrock Sun 07-Apr-19 18:42:17

Yanbu. I hate it, I am only on MN now as a social platform.
I hate it more with DC, no moment can be enoyed without a camera in the childs face.

Pinkbutton85 Sun 07-Apr-19 18:43:19


I hate it too. I hate having my picture taken. I hate having to wait to eat my food so someone can a photo of it first. Who the fuck really cares?! I hate that I'm probably in the background of lots of peoples selfies. I hate that people cant just live in the fucking moment anymore!

Pinkbutton85 Sun 07-Apr-19 18:44:22

Heres to hoping people become a little less self absorbed and less 'keeping up with the Jones's' and social media dies a fast but painful death!

Siameasy Sun 07-Apr-19 18:44:47

*Feels like the fucking end times.

At least future generations will know what happened to us; ‘They disappeared up their own arseholes.*


I wonder where this will go? I find certain people I know barely even text or WhatsApp anymore yet when I do see them they are on FB/Insta whilst I am with them.

knobblykneesandturnedouttoes Sun 07-Apr-19 19:01:44

They are good friends, love them to bits, and would almost definitely tone it down if I asked them to. But I don’t want to make them uncomfortable, so the next time we’re out, I would hate for them to want to take a photo and then feel they have to stop themselves. They won’t be relaxed and enjoying themselves either then!

Might ask them to consider one ‘no phone’ night. Just to see how it affects things.

Leedsbean Sun 07-Apr-19 19:02:13

My pet hate as well. People not living in the moment now and don't experience anything. Nights out, gigs, sporting events people behind their phones filming rather than enjoying the experience. The odd photo is fine but everything else is just overkill

Pinkbutton85 Sun 07-Apr-19 19:03:27

Yes! I saw a video on YouTube where ed Sheeran was pulling in people for a 1 to 1 gig. Most of the people were recording him on their phones and watching it through the screen rather than him right infront of them!!!

RasberryRoyale Sun 07-Apr-19 19:10:49

I had a friend like this, would constantly tag me in things when we went out, constantly checking their phone for likes while we were together. It got me in trouble as I had an abusive boyfriend at the time and he used it as a way to keep track of me.

I have a family member who lives their life on Facebook, complete with a billion hashtags with every update and of course plenty of of selfies and pictures of her in her underwear. I dread the day she gets pregnant as the updates will triple in number.

I think the worst though was at a concert a few months ago and I had the tallest guy in front of me which was bad enough, but as soon it started he stood up, pulled out an IPad and proceeded to stream the whole thing to Facebook live. For the entire show. I mean get a life!

Doorway Sun 07-Apr-19 19:13:26

Hate it! People are now ONLY doing things in order to have a photo to post on SM. It’s like nothing happened unless it was posted online. Disgusting and I am scared for my children in regards to when they’re teens.

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