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AIBU to think that she's just taking the piss!

(32 Posts)
nothingbreakslikeaheart Sun 07-Apr-19 15:47:58

A colleague at work only lives about half hour walk from where we are but just lately she has been asking for a lift home. Now I didn't mind at first as I thought it was a one off, but this getting quite frequent now where she's asking if I can drop her off 10 min before our shift finishes. She's asked me again and I said fine but this is the last time I'm doing it by the way! She looked a bit upset/moody. I felt really guilty because I am not usually someone who sounds or acts like a bitch and always do anything to help people.

It stems from what happened in the past. I had a colleague in my other job who kept texting me, asking me to pick her up and drop her off all the time. I asked for petrol money (colleague in my previous job) but she said she didn't have any as she spent it all on going holiday. At this point I just had enough that when she messaged me to pick her up/drop her off, I completely ignored her text and she ended up being late for work.

AIBU to think that it is their responsibility to get themselves to and from work, not mine or anyone else who drives! I have a car but I pay to run it and keep it and taking you and/or picking you up to go work costs me not only money but time! I sound horrible but goodness me it really gets on my nerves...

NorthEndGal Sun 07-Apr-19 15:50:17

Some people are cheeky.
You have spoke up and said you aren't doing it anymore, so it's sorted now.

Bookworm4 Sun 07-Apr-19 16:03:23

Is it on your route home? You could say you need a days notice because you have somewhere to go or just say no.

nutellalove Sun 07-Apr-19 16:05:42

YANBU. It's definitely someone's responsibility to organise their way to and from work. One off is fine, a daily thing then needs an agreement between two parties eg petrol money and timings

ILoveMaxiBondi Sun 07-Apr-19 16:07:59

She’s asking you to leave work 10 minutes before you’re supposed to to leave her home? shock massively cheeky. Just tell her every time “we haven’t finished work yet!”

Sparklesocks Sun 07-Apr-19 16:09:50

So you’re expected to leave your shift early to give her a lift? No! You might risk getting a bollocking from your boss for her benefit, absolutely not.

AllStar14 Sun 07-Apr-19 16:15:54

I think OP means she's getting 10 minutes notice from CF.

RestingBitchFaced Sun 07-Apr-19 16:19:06

If it's on your way fine, if not just say 'I'm not going that way'

blueluce85 Sun 07-Apr-19 16:26:34

It depends where she lives. If it is en route home then I don't see the issue. If it is out of your way then you should say no.

If en route, I definitely wouldn't expect or ask for any contributions

AuntMarch Sun 07-Apr-19 16:28:54

I would have said "sorry no, I'm not going that way"

Drum2018 Sun 07-Apr-19 16:32:48

No. I wouldn't get into this. You've told her now that you're not doing it again so she'd have some cheek to ask. Don't feel guilty. She's not your responsibility.

screamifyouwant Sun 07-Apr-19 16:33:11

If it's on your way what's the problem?
If it's not then of course not .
Why is it cheeky to ask for a lift if it's on your way ? I couldn't drive past someone knowing I'm going right past where they live .

Isleepinahedgefund Sun 07-Apr-19 16:39:13

Tell her to do one! It's one thing asking for a lift but adds another level to be asking you to change your routine to accommodate them.

Myimaginarycathasfleas Sun 07-Apr-19 16:44:47

“Sorry, I’m not going straight home!” Every time.

Or, if you’re feeling kind:

“I can do it today as it happens but don’t count on me as a regular thing, I’ll offer if I’m going your way.”

LordVoldetort Sun 07-Apr-19 16:47:35

Is it out of your way? If it’s not does it make much of a difference?

Crossfitgirl Sun 07-Apr-19 16:58:12

Either just say no, or just come to an agreement with her that you take her if it's agreed in advance but contributes a little petrol money (yes an extra person in the car is more petrol... Plus why should she expect a free ride if its all the time? ) or at least gets you a drink every now and again or something.

If I scrounged a lift off someone every day, I wouldn't dream of not offering petrol money unless it was just a one off. Or I'd offer to do something else as a thank you.

But then I'm considerate. Lol.

Orangecake123 Sun 07-Apr-19 17:02:32

Stick with saying no OP. I would start staying I wasn't going home straight away, and just keep repeating that.

wigglypiggly Sun 07-Apr-19 17:06:00

If it's on the way I would drop off at the most convenient place, not divert though and ask for petrol money. I wouldnt leave early, leave when you're ready, why does she want to go early.

Acis Sun 07-Apr-19 17:06:36

If en route, I definitely wouldn't expect or ask for any contributions

So that person gets to save around £10 a week courtesy of the fact that you have chosen to invest in, maintain, tax, insure and fuel a car? Why?

blueluce85 Sun 07-Apr-19 17:16:56

@acis because they aren't saving £10 they are saving a bit of time as they would likely be walking.

And why not do something nice for someone else when it doesn't cost anything?

Cherrysoup Sun 07-Apr-19 17:22:02

Stick to your guns, OP. This would drive me mad and leaves you zero flexibility. Tell her you’re off to see a mate/mum/go shopping/facial, whatever. Or be brave and say you’d rather not as it takes you out of your way and you just don’t want to.

Acis Sun 07-Apr-19 17:25:47

How do you know they would be walking, blueluce? OP hasn't said so.

DataBreachCentral Sun 07-Apr-19 17:26:19

As others have said, if it's en route to your home then I don't see an issue unless she's rude and doesn't thank you/offer you some petrol money.

If you have to go out of your way then YANBU to refuse to give her a lift home, though I'd probably offer to drop her as close to home as possible without going out of my way.

CaptSkippy Sun 07-Apr-19 17:26:21

You can do something nice, but when it becomes an obligation it isn't nice anymore. Nobody owes someone else a ride, even if it's in the same direction.

NoCauseRebel Sun 07-Apr-19 17:26:57

Thing is, sometimes the cf doesn’t know they’re being viewed as a cf. Years ago I worked with someone who lived on the same street as me. When I started working at the company she offered me a lift home every night I was immensely grateful, gave her petrol money etc, and then when she stopped wanting to give me a lift home, instead of speaking to me about it she went to my manager and made a complaint that I had become too expectant, I was called into the office and told that I had to stop expecting that which I wasn’t entitled to, when actually I’d never felt entitled to anything and all she’d had to do was say that it wasn’t convenient and I would never have asked anyway.

So speak to the woman. Tell her that you no longer want the responsibility of offering lifts home to her, don’t lie about it, just say that it takes any kind of spontaneity out of going home ie. you can’t just pop to the shops on way or your mum’s or wherever else you might happen to chance on the way.

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