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All natural birth?

(566 Posts)
TerribleTwosPhase Sun 07-Apr-19 11:08:45

Ok first time posting on AIBU so putting my hard hat on for this one...
Do you genuinely believe that having a baby with no pain relief/intervention or anything makes it a superior birth to someone who hasn't?
Before I had DD I was quite relaxed about my birth plan, didn't want any pain relief or anything if I could manage it, but wasn't against it. In the end after 3 days of labour with a back to back baby and not progressing I had to have an epidural. Fine that's what needed to happen to safely deliver my baby, and as my body was starting to have issues it was the safest way of processing for us both if I needed an emergency c section. I have no issues with this and understand it's just what had to happen, not my ideal birth but we are both happy and healthy so that's all that matters.
Woman on my Facebook has just announced her babies birth with the line " total natural birth, I am a lioness!"
AIBU to think that this is a bit ridiculous, be proud of yourself fair enough, but do we really need to make people feel bad about how they gave birth? Do you secretly feel better about yourself knowing you done it with no pain relief?
I'm really not trying to be goady here please don't take it like that, but does the fact that everything went textbook for someone mean it's more noteworthy than for someone who didn't? I see so many women on here who are disappointed with their birth experiences and I think things like this surely can't help?

StealthPolarBear Sun 07-Apr-19 11:10:02

Lol. Lionesses probably fancy pain relief too they just can't articulate it.

StealthPolarBear Sun 07-Apr-19 11:10:56

And I'm guessing mice and ferrets also give birth without pain relief

StealthPolarBear Sun 07-Apr-19 11:12:49

I had a textbook birth, only gas and air and I'm pleased it was that way. My friend who gave birth had her baby the wrong way round (can't remember the name) and if that had been the case for me then it would have been a different story. Circumstances are the biggest factor I suspect rather than any affiliations with large felines.

YAmILikeDis Sun 07-Apr-19 11:13:00

Yeeeee no.

I gave birth twice without pain relief. It was not a pleasant experience and not one I planned; it was a case of labouring faster than I thought, the midwives not believing I was in labour “properly” and being left alone in a room without access to even gas and air.

2rachtint Sun 07-Apr-19 11:13:18

I had one more medicated that the other. I am (secretly) proud of myself for managing the second time round with just gas and air but I don't feel superior to those who wanted/needed different pain relief/section. I felt I needed it the first time and don't regret it at all.

fancynancyclancy Sun 07-Apr-19 11:13:20

The thing is maybe she is proud of her experience. Why does it matter though or take anything away from yours?

123rd Sun 07-Apr-19 11:15:47

I had two totally 'natural' births. But they weren't planned that way. The first I just thought ' well, this isn't too bad. I'll
Keep the pain relief until later when I need it' I had no idea how long the process was going to take, and in the end it was over v quickly.
My second birth was a home delivery but always with the thought that I would transfer to hosp should we Need to. Again the birth was over v quickly. And I didn't feel the need to ask for any pain relief.
I wasn't being a hero - or lioness. I personally just thought it was ok. Maybe I have a high pain threshold, maybe I have v easy births. I don't know
I have said to every single one of my friends that have had a baby since mine, you don't get a medal for going without pain relief. If you need it, have some.

pastabest Sun 07-Apr-19 11:15:52

As someone who has given birth twice with no pain relief (by accident not design) I can honestly say I couldn't care less how anyone else gave birth. I certainly don't think I've personally achieved anything greater than anyone else. It's just luck.

I count myself lucky not to have needed any intervention and unlucky that I wasn't able to have anything to take the edge off the worst pain I've ever experienced. Because if the option had been there I would have taken it!

TerribleTwosPhase Sun 07-Apr-19 11:16:09

@StealthPolarBear that really made me laugh there.
I know IABU for letting something on Facebook annoy me 😂
I understand she's proud of it, that's great. I'm proud of having my dd epidural or not. I just think it's ridiculous to say things like that and put pressure on people to think they need to give birth with no pain relief, or to somehow make someone feel like a bit of a failure because they didn't.

AnnaMagnani Sun 07-Apr-19 11:16:19

I know someone who nearly died from kidney failure during her birth and had every intervention going.

I think she's a total lioness too.

Personally I think the issue is how we speak to women about the experience and build things up for one to be better than other. Nobody who has given birth, by whatever means, is a failure or weaker or stronger than anyone else. They just had different experiences and we should be united in helping those who had bad ones have better ones.

maddieharrison Sun 07-Apr-19 11:16:25

Everybody's birth is different, the circumstances etc. I had my first baby in January 3 weeks early. I had what is called a natural birth but I am more grateful for having such a good first birth. My friend who gave birth in March had to have a c section due to complications. So I was the lucky one really to have no major complications. Otherwise we would all give birth naturally.

n0ne Sun 07-Apr-19 11:16:58

Yeah, I agree with @fancynancyclancy - I wanted and got med-free births and I was bloody proud of myself for managing both times, but I'm also well aware that I was lucky everything went to plan. I feel very sorry for people who have difficult labours with interventions, and certainly don't judge them for having pain relief. Giving birth is fucking mental however you do it, and any woman who does it is entitled to feel proud.

Bearfrills Sun 07-Apr-19 11:17:14

I had one birth with just gas and air then I had an emergency section and two planned sections.

I much preferred the planned sections.

redwoodmazza Sun 07-Apr-19 11:17:43

I am feeling very proud of myself now. I gave birth to DS in 1992 - with gas and air. I have just read previous comments about how only gas and air is good. Yippee!!! I feel quite smug now.

Tinyteatime Sun 07-Apr-19 11:18:19

I think if I’d given birth with no pain relief I might feel quite superior. I think you’re often so high after the birth for a few weeks you feel a bit like superwoman. There is sense of ‘wow how did my body do that’. I’ve had pain relief both times, drip induced and epidural with 2nd. My friend just had her 1st with nothing but gas and air and yes I was a little in awe of her and really happy for her (she thought she had a tummy bug coming on and didn’t even realise she was in labour for most of it!).

TerribleTwosPhase Sun 07-Apr-19 11:18:21

@AnnaMagnani that is totally what I was trying to say. You've summed it up perfectly smile

StealthPolarBear Sun 07-Apr-19 11:18:37

It seemed to me at the time that gas and air counted as drug free in some way. I don't understand it.

Letterkennie Sun 07-Apr-19 11:19:08

I had placenta previa with my first. There was no question of labouring past that and I am eternally thankful that modern medicine gave me scans to even know that this was happening, and the ability to have a very lovely pain free c section. Without it we would both be absolutely dead.

Pride? Well I guess its like being proud of crossing a road without getting run over. Some people will be crossing quiet country lanes, others will be negotiating 10 lanes of traffic at rush hour.

Shinygoldbauble Sun 07-Apr-19 11:19:12

I have two children both born with no pain relief at all. I really didn't want an epidural if possible but I was willing to see how things went. In the end I had two really fast labours, the second was only about 2 hours start to finish so pain relief was irrelevant as there was no time.
I don't think that makes me a better woman/mother or superior in any way. I didn't control it. It just happened that way.
In the same way I am not ashamed that I was hospitalised with HG and had to take medication or that I had PND.
That was just my experience of pregnancy and giving birth. It doesn't reflect well or badly on what anyone else experienced. It's not a competition.

AnnieMay100 Sun 07-Apr-19 11:20:18

I’m not going to deny being proud of myself having no pain relief in labour but I would have been proud even if I did for giving birth to such huge babies! It definitely doesn’t make me look down at mums who used pain relief or think I done a better job than them etc we should all be proud of our personal births no matter how it happened she’s got every reason to feel like a lioness for getting through it same as every woman should!

Letterkennie Sun 07-Apr-19 11:21:11

Shinygoldbauble that’s a v good point about PND. Anyone talking about how proud they are for not taking depression drugs would quite rightly get a telling.

Drogosnextwife Sun 07-Apr-19 11:21:38

My second I had no pain relief or gas and air he just popped out.
Had an epidural with my first but they gave me it a bit late so could still very much feel the actual birth.
The second was much faster and easier but I think if my first had been left to come of his own accord it would have been a much quicker birth.
The only difference really was I could get up straight away after the second.
You can plan as much as you like but no one has any idea what will happen during labour.

GabriellaMontez Sun 07-Apr-19 11:22:07

Why did her post make you feel bad?

Unfollow her if it bothers you. I don't think it's ridiculous. She had a good time! She told everyone. Isn't that what people do on fb?

StealthPolarBear Sun 07-Apr-19 11:22:28

The road thing is a perfect analogy

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