AIBU to be at my complete and utter wits end with this situation?(80 Posts)
Hi, I hope this isn’t too long but I want to give as much detail as not to drip feed.
I live in a new build block of apartments on the 2nd floor (top) with my 2 young children. It is a rented property from a private landlord who owns my flat and the two beneath me. There are also 3 other flats in this block that are home owners. I have lived here for 2 and a half years and was the first person to reside in this flat from being built.
From what I can gather the two flats beneath me are part of an agreement with my landlord and social services with residents that are vulnerable adults. On the ground floor is a man who had a serious head injury and is very quiet and pleasant - keeps himself to himself. On the 1st floor beneath me is an 18 year old male with learning disabilities. My landlord explained to me that he has the mental age of a 12 year old. He moved in around Sept/Oct 2018.
The block of flats is directly opposite a large park with an area that caters to keeping youth off the streets and in a safe environment. Admittedly where I live is a rough area, on the outskirts of a large city. It is not unheard of for there to be regular assaults, knife crime etc. Many incidents of this nature have taken place at the park.
Ok to the problem - The lad below me (lets call him Sean) has ties with many of the teenagers that frequent this park. They are basically using him and his flat as a doss house. Every single day there is drama. There are groups of 8+ hanging around on the communal stairs, swinging off the bannisters, shouting, screaming, arguing, slamming doors so much that the block shakes, loud music until gone 3am, foul language, damage to the block, throwing stones at windows, the list is endless. Myself and my neighbour opposite (homeowner) have kept in touch with the issues and she contacted social services. I have spoken to my landlord numerous times who repeatedly just tells me to call the police and never turns up when this commotion is happening. Sean has a care worker that comes every day for a few hours, but as soon as she is gone the commotion begins. Its literally every day. It came to a head a fortnight ago when one bang too many sent me flying into a rage down the stairs to ask what the fuck was going on. I have never confronted any of them before this. I was laughed at and mocked by the 10+ group of teenagers, I managed to get them out of the block and went to talk to Sean by himself in his flat. Everything I said to him regarding the behaviours and issues went over his head, he just doesn’t understand. Everybody - the landlord, the carers even the police seem to be pacifying him. Nobody is taking into account the effect its having on everbody else that lives here.
I can’t live like this anymore, it’s making my life a misery. Unbeknownst to them, I am also classified as a vulnerable adult. I have a number of mental health disorders and this situation is excerberating them to a point where I have had the crisis team visiting me for the last 2 weeks. I can’t live like this anymore, I don’t have the funds to move house and the council knocked me off the housing register as I already have a roof over my head. I just dont know what to do, it’s making me more ill than I already am. My situation is very complex and too much to post on this one thread, but this home felt like an eventual place of safety after many very difficult years. I have C-PTSD and the bangs and shouting are triggering me on a daily basis - I feel like my safety and privacy has been taken away from me and I am constantly scared, angered and frustrated in my own home. My children get upset and nervous about coming home, it’s hell.
Complain, complain, complain.
Record and report every instance. You almost have to become a nuisance for people to act nowadays.
I had a family member like Sean, and he had to be moved in the end. It was hard as he thought that the people using him where his friends/giving him booze and weed. In the end a facebook page full of bullying photos and videos of him was the tipping point, this included a video of them setting his hair on fire when he was asleep on the couch. But even now he still thinks it was "banter" and that they were his mates.
It's also extraordinarily expensive endoftheline which means that councils with extremely stretched budgets are being forced to move away from that kind of model unless the person's needs requires them to have someone present 24 hours a day they will more likely have someone popping in to support a few times a day like Sean.
Even on minimum wage 24 hour support is £197 a day (£1379 a week, or £71722 a year).
How many 12 year olds would realistically need someone with them 24 hours a day? Most 12-18 year olds would be capable of making themselves basic meals, having a wash, changing their clothes, getting themselves a drink, getting a bus into town, managing basic finances, understanding consequences etc. They might need reminding with some stuff and some support with other stuff but they aren't completely helpless.
OP it sounds like a really shit situation
I too suspect the only way this will change is if Sean is moved away. Because he sees these teenagers as his friends.
And legally adults with LD are allowed to make bad decisions, just as adults without LDs are allowed to.
I think there is a readiness to put people into situations which they sometimes aren't able to cope with, and I have come across it in my work with a housing charity.
A young man was befriended by a group of older teens.
When they tired of him, he became obsessed with one of them and ended up being charged with an offence.
His mum had continually told his social worker that it was too much to expect him to manage with just visiting support, but they brushed her aside as it ticked boxes to say that he was living an age appropriate, independent life.
Call the police and tell them under the anti social behaviour act you want them to consider a closure order on your neighbours flat. Do not back down, keep pushing them to take steps to either remove the tenant or have the flat closed and boarded. Please read up about it this legislation can help you.
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