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DD ran into the road because she was "bored"

(16 Posts)
zunshine Sat 06-Apr-19 14:06:42

4 year old DD has always been very impulsive, she knows wrong from right but she doesn't seem to put that into action. She'd rather do wrong, she gets disciplined and then does the same thing again.
Yesterday I was speaking to a friend just outside the school gates as I was picking up DDs, DD1 (6) was playing with a friend. Suddenly DD2 runs off, I notice and tell her to come back, she doesn't so I go after her. She then tries to run into the busy road by the school, it terrified me. Her only answer for why she did it is she was bored of waiting. DD1 is the complete opposite, sensible, mature for her age and I parent them in the same way

DontCallMeCharlotte Sat 06-Apr-19 14:14:53

Okay I don't have children but I'm one of five and we all had the same parenting. We could not be more different! I think it's about her personality rather than your parenting.

Ilikethinkingupnewnames Sat 06-Apr-19 14:17:05

Agree mine are chalk and cheese. I advocate reins. I made my 5yold wear them as he had a habit of running into the road. Didn't take long for him to stop wanting to run in the road.

bridgetreilly Sat 06-Apr-19 14:21:04

At 4yo, I do not think she should be expected to be aware of road dangers. If she's somewhere with road access, you need to hold her hand and don't let her run off.

FudgeBrownie2019 Sat 06-Apr-19 14:23:04

I'd put reins on any child who was bored and ran into a road. She's still young so many not fully understand her choices, but by 4 she knows the basic commands of "stop" and if she chooses not to, I'd use reins til she's willing to accept instructions.

GregoryPeckingDuck Sat 06-Apr-19 14:24:10

I knew a few children who ran onto roads for attention. Does she generally do naughty things to elicit a reaction?

LuvSmallDogs Sat 06-Apr-19 14:25:26

All kids are different, you’ve had a nasty shock and now know this one needs a bit more wrangling is all. I’m sure we’ve all been caught out by our kids in some way or another.

CountFosco Sat 06-Apr-19 14:29:04

She's only 4 so doesn't have good impulse control, she doesn't really understand the consequences of running into the road and she was bored. That's all pretty normal for a 4 year old so don't compare her negatively to her older sister.

To address the behaviour you need to have an immediate consequence for bad behaviour and running into the road is so dangerous y
I don't think a chat is sufficient. My youngest (who is 6 so older) still runs off when it's safe but knows not to go into the road. At 4 I always had hold of him and if he resisted and tried to run away he would be carried like a package under my arm while being told that because he had run away I couldn't trust him and I had to keep him safe and carrying him was the only way to do it. It was non-negotiable.

BloodsportForAll Sat 06-Apr-19 14:30:24

Nothing wrong with using a set of reins again, unless her behaviour about it is too difficult. You can also buy wrist straps to connect you both by the wrist.

SunshineCake Sat 06-Apr-19 14:54:16

Maybe you've expected too much. Her and it's planned out okay more through good luck than design parenting.

Reins, a wrist tag, holding hands. All things to consider.

I agree with a PP that it's not always about parenting. I feel I've parented mine all differently as they are different people with different personalities.

nokidshere Sat 06-Apr-19 15:12:47

You have an impulsive 4 yr old who has form for getting into scrapes and yet you left her unattended near a busy road?

The stupidity of some parents never ceases to amaze me hmm

4 yr olds, and for that matter some 6,7,8,9 and 10 yr olds, are impulsive, easily distracted, immature, unreliable and unpredictable. Your expectations of your child are unrealistic. She is not her sister she is an individual and you need to parent her according to her needs not someone else's.

corythatwas Sat 06-Apr-19 15:15:04

I had one cautious and one impulsive child. They've both grown into perfectly reasonable adults. Reins might be the way to go.

madroid Sat 06-Apr-19 15:15:19

Oh how terrifying for you😨

Always hold hands it reins for 3 months. Then review

yikesanotherbooboo Sat 06-Apr-19 17:34:26

I agree that she is too young to understand the danger and you just need to be more aware and keep her safe until she is older.i don't think you can reason with her and I wouldn't worry about her motives. We all ( well certainly me)have unexpected close shaves and learn from them.

Tuesday2ndApril Sat 06-Apr-19 18:12:50

I clearly remember doing this as a six-year old. I was bored by my DM chatting with her DSis and wanted some attention so I just shot out across the road, in front of a motorcyclist.

Surely children are prone to this sort of impulsive behaviour when they're bored and their parents aren't paying attention?

Friedspamfritters Sat 06-Apr-19 18:32:29

Remember there's a massive difference between understanding right from wrong and having the impulse control to put it into practise. This varies massively with temperement. Some kids develop impulse control earlier and some are just less tempted in the first place. I would just keep hold of her hand. If she doesn't have impulse control no amount of discipline will solve the issue.

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