Hello,
I wrote a thread about this before and I received some good advice but I'm terrified and I'm in two minds about the situation. To start...
DD's dad is one of those dads that we won't hear for 4-6 months at a time and then shows up out of the blue. He Is consistent for 2 months, then something happens and he goes like a genie. I warned him that if he does he's disappearing act again, that he should keep walking and doesn't turn back as he has done this for the past 7 years.
Anyway, we have had no contact from him in 3 months and DD is getting one. Whilst I was out, I received a random call from my sister (we live together) that DD's dad has showed up and he would like to talk to me, and that he has his friend (who I know of) with him.
I was honestly like "what the fuck". Anyway I reach home and I meet DD playing with her dad and kept saying "your back, your back". I then asked DD to play in her room.
Moving on, the reason why DD's dad came was because he wants me to stop pursuing child maintenance. He said he is in debt, he is about to lose his home, he is only working 15 hours and cannot afford to provide for DD. I told him "that I gave you (him) chance after change to give me some money, I didn't hear from you when I texted you to ask what was going on, I warned you that I will pursue child maintenance and ask them to do a collect and service (where they do a direction of order) if I didn't receive any money).
He's friend then pipes up and tells me " I know you wants DDs dad to be a responsible father but have some compassion, he is in debt, a week ago he asked me to pay for he's electric. Your studying right ? Why can't you sacrifice your studies and get a job and provide for your DS yourself ?". He then adds " if DDs dad doesn't pay, then I will pay you the money". I told him to not be stupid , my child ain't he's responsibility.
I then asked DDs dad how much can he afford to pay, he said "Honestly... I have no money, I can give you 10 a month or maybe £20... but there will be a few months that I won't be able to pay". I told him that he can't be for real. He then starts shaking in anger (I know) and pipes up "why can't you leave me alone ?! Just drop the child maintenance and I won't have anything to do with DDs life". I replied to him "That I'm sorry but I want the best life for DD and unfortunately, I need your money. You can decide on whatever relationship you want with DD but you still have to provide for her".
He then gets up and starts shouting "I will give sign over my rights, I will let you have full custody of DD but drop this child maintenance, if you don't drop it, I will come for you". He then turns to his friend and says "she needs to go".
I then told him to "get out" and they both went.
I cannot be arsed with this boy child, I'm thinking of leaving Child maintenance so myself and DD can have a peaceful nice. My friend told me that I shouldn't but if I don't do it, I have a death wish hanging over me.
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AIBU?
AIBU- EX threatening to "kill me" if I don't stop child maintenance
63 replies
helpmetoseeagain · 06/04/2019 12:32
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