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Is she lying?

(49 Posts)
MrsFoxPlus4 Sat 06-Apr-19 00:29:08

I’m probably being unreasonable to say that I have a friend who continuously tells lies. I have distanced myself from her but she messaged saying her cousins liver is failing after an overdose and he’s been put on a special transplant list and will receive one in 2 days. Iv never heard of organs being available so quickly or their being a special list for others, Iv seen people wait years on organs!

Bouncingbelle Mon 08-Apr-19 02:06:35

Given his liver has apparently niw recivered, i'd call bullshit.
However, there ARE two transplant lists (or there certainly are for hearts anyway). One is almost a 'standard' list that you could wait years on. There is also a super urgent list that puts you at the top of the uk waiting list should a suitable organ come through.

AwakeNow Mon 08-Apr-19 01:57:10

@colehawlins
No, I don't think so, I only know about the liver from a show I watched. www.organdonation.nhs.uk/about-donation/living-donation/

lillymunster Sun 07-Apr-19 22:04:36

given her track record I'd be fairly convinced she is talking rubbish on this occasion. I don't know enough about emergency hospital procedures to know if what she's saying could be possible, but from what I've known of people like you're describing, I'd assume it's another crazy story.
I know a girl who is a compulsive liar. Aged 20 I didn't know better, believed her at first and came rushing to console her as soon as she said whatever had happened. As the years went by I noticed she'd only get in touch when she'd got a crazy story and wanted an immediate reaction. They were almost always health related - imaginary overdoses and a multitude of different cancer diagnoses she claimed she'd had. I started reacting with "I'm sorry to hear that, I hope everything will be ok" and nothing more. She's scaled it right back and hardly contacts me nowadays. I gather other people are on the receiving end of it these days. To be clear, I know she's lying because she'd always tried to keep her friends completely separate but once we started talking to each other we noticed a lot of plot holes and contradictions in her stories

MrsFoxPlus4 Sun 07-Apr-19 21:51:46

Like Iv previously said I didn’t no why I posted I just wanted to rant. I haven’t seen her in 3 years. And the other point someone’s made she said immediate family were there and willing to be testing but the hospital refused. She’s now said his liver is fine his Brian isn’t recovering though.

iklboo Sun 07-Apr-19 19:19:19

@colehawlins

Sadly not. The liver grows in 'lobes' so they can remove a part of it for transplant. Kidneys are one whole organ. AND the liver regenerates afterwards.

Pepperwand Sun 07-Apr-19 19:17:46

Why are you friends with her? Genuine question. What do people get out of the friendships they have with people that they know to be compulsive liars? I'm just wondering why you wouldn't call them out on their BS and move on with your life....I'm assuming they must have other redeeming features but struggle to see why you would maintain contact.

dontgobaconmyheart Sun 07-Apr-19 19:15:23

Clearly you believe she is fully lying OP based on your past experience so in the nicest possible way why does it matter what other people here think? There maybe be elements of truth to it as some of it is within the realm of feasibility re urgent donor or an organ failure after overdose. It is also surely potentially true that for most people contacting family and getting them in for tests and pre-OP in 48 hrs would be near on impossible unless they lived down the road, were all in good health and free to turn up asap after their details were obtained. Or perhaps it is all a lie. Nobody here has any idea, and if you want more information I think it would be better to press her for some.

I'm not making a case for her at all, just saying that it's probably best to let it lie regardless, you don't seem to have much if anything to do with this person so there seems no benefit to take up your time worrying about it, or whether she is lying.

I expect I'm coming across abrupt but since you experience anxiety (I also do) there seems more sense in going 'hope he's ok if this is true, feel sorry for her if she's making things up, it's quite an extreme lie to tell so she must be troubled' and move on. If you don't want to her from her or her contacting you like this causes angst then cease contact. I doubt she would exactly be pleased that you've gone online calling her a pathological liar if she knew so perhaps everyone's better off not engaging! What are the positives to having any contact with this person.

YANBU to want to rant at all if you are bothered by something but it sounds like a hiding to nowhere if you aren't ever going to know or do anything if you did. If she saw this post would you feel better?

theonetowalkinthesun Sun 07-Apr-19 18:55:36

When someone takes an overdose that will kill them if they don't have an immediate transplant, they will go on the list to get a liver (from a stranger) within 2 days, in order to save their life. This is indeed quicker than testing family members and taking a portion.

If someone takes an overdose that knackers their liver but ISN'T going to kill them immediately, it would be the months/years long waiting list or the family donating a portion route.

I just wanted to clear this up for all the posters that think it's impossible to get a liver transplant within 2 days - it is perfectly possibly in the specific circumstances that I have stated.

Of course your person might be lying, but I just wanted to make it clear that that is a perfectly feasible scenario.

MrsFoxPlus4 Sun 07-Apr-19 15:15:38

theonetowalkinthesun assuming it is true. She’s said the doctors said it takes longer than 48 hours to test the immediate willing family and in this case they won’t be testing at all they will be finding a random doner because that’s quicker I thought that was a bit far fetched. Haven’t heard a word since and it’s been more than 48 hours

Februaryblooms Sat 06-Apr-19 23:33:14

I know somebody exactly like this, except in their case it's cancer they lie about, among other things unrelated to health. I've actually posted about them before under an old username. They've implied a total of 4 times that they have it.

Once I got wind of the fact they were bullshitting (confirmed by their family member) I was actually quite angry given the nature of what they were lying about, so instead of just letting it go over my head I began pressing them for information and watched them dig themselves into an even bigger hole and make a prat of themselves before quickly backtracking (suddenly they didn't have cancer after all and it was all a big misunderstanding)

Perhaps not the kindest thing to have done from my side but lying about something like a terminal illness is disgusting IMO. I have family with significant and debilitating MH problems who wouldn't dream of spouting such bollocks, so I refused to buy into the narrative that this person should be excused incase they had an underlying personality disorder.

I don't know how anybody finds the gall to fabricate lies about their health or the health of others, not that I'm a 'woo' person but why would you even tempt fate like that.

Sorry I went off on a bit of a tangent there. Your posted reminded me of this person and it annoyed me all over again grin

unicornstore Sat 06-Apr-19 23:04:17

Ugh she's definitely over exaggerating (or just plain lying). This is why we need more organ donors though so we can have organs in 2 days!

Who lies about someone being severely ill? That's messed up.

AliceRR Sat 06-Apr-19 22:27:51

I had a friend who lied a lot. She lied when we were at school, random things like that she’d bumped into a teacher we liked and been to his house, obviously a lie

Later on we got back in touch, maybe ten years ago. And she was lying again. Silly things like not being well and then about her Dad being in hospital, like she’d say all her family had been at the hospital the night before, but she’d have posted pics of her out doing something that night

We ended up losing touch after she’d been saying for days that she wasn’t well but arranged to meet up with me. I told her don’t bother if you’re not well. She said “no I still have to eat”. Anyway it was so weird but I just drove straight home after work, knowing she wouldn’t come to meet me. She’d been texting me that afternoon but then had gone quiet. I texted her to ask if she was on her way to meet me and she was like “oh sh*t sorry I’ve been asleep and just woke up” and then told me to “give her a break” when I suggested she’d only texted me a couple of hours ago so could have just cancelled if she wasn’t well / was going to bed. The stupid thing is she arranged it all. There was no point to it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

gottastopeatingchocolate Sat 06-Apr-19 22:14:46

I wouldn't look so much at whether she is lying or not - you might never know - but what effect the not knowing this has on you.

In your situation I wouldn't even ask "let me know" - just send a vaguely sympathetic response - "sorry to hear that. Hope it all works out".

ALLMYSmellySocks Sat 06-Apr-19 20:34:30

This does sound pathological. There's not eve n a logical reason to want to make up something like that and if she's always making up huge lies she's bound to be found out.

Lobsterquadrille2 Sat 06-Apr-19 20:32:56

@colehawlins not sure if anyone answered you - I have two friends who donated one of their kidneys to their respective brothers - several years on and all four are fine. It's not a pleasant operation for the donor either.

I think that up to about 60% of someone's liver can be removed and it will grow back in a few months. I was really into Greek mythology when I was much younger, and still find it weird that they somehow knew about liver regeneration with Prometheus being chained to a rock and having his liver pecked out daily, only for it to grow again.

Raspberrytruffle Sat 06-Apr-19 17:47:29

OP I'd seriously consider blocking her or not replying to her txts, shes wanting attention if you dont reply to her dramas she wont be getting that buzz and will move on to someone else

theonetowalkinthesun Sat 06-Apr-19 17:40:08

Just wanted to say that although this person is a compulsive liar, being told you will have a liver transplant within 48 hours is perfectly feasible after an overdose.
So even if she lies about everything else in her life, this is technically a story that is potentially true.

A liver transplant within 48 hours is something we do for people who are going to die immediately if they don't get a new liver (as opposed to other people who need a new liver but won't die immediately without a new one - these people wait for months/years).

From an NHS document:
The two categories of patients requiring liver transplantation are ‘super urgent’ patients who have sudden liver failure and are likely to die within 48 hours unless transplanted;
and ‘elective’ patients who have a more insidious course.

So just be careful about assuming this story is another one of their lies- the 2 days thing doesn't mean it can't be true

SamStephens Sat 06-Apr-19 14:03:49

I’d call bullshit. I used to have a “friend” who was a notoriously pathological liar - before we’d even met she’d told her friends while she was in exchange to Japan that she’d met and married a millionaire Japanese business man and wasn’t back in the country. Truth was she’d put on some weight and couldn’t bare to face them.

After we stopped working together (she was fired for fraud on her timesheets and I was there the day she got escorted out) I remember having surgery on my ovaries and she was all “oh I saw you, how luxurious that you were allowed a sandwich while I was having BRAIN surgery!!” a week later she was having lunch on a boat as a competition via the radio.. some people are crazy!

Ffsnosexallowed Sat 06-Apr-19 13:59:41

I don't understand people who tell lies which are such obvious rubbish? Someone I know claimed to have Stage 4 cervical cancer - which was magically cured with no hospital treatment within 2 months. Then she had Ms and a brain tumour, those are OK now. Just now she has menieres disease, and will need a wheelchair at the hospital when she heads off on holiday next week.

MrsFoxPlus4 Sat 06-Apr-19 13:54:51

I know that. I just meant surely if they were going to take a living doner they’d test immediate family but apparently regardless of offers it takes longer to test family than it’ll take for this “urgent special doner 48 hour list”

GunpowderGelatine Sat 06-Apr-19 13:44:42

Livers can de donated by a living person. You just need a little bit "cut" to be a donor. It's the only organ that regenerates itself

DuckbilledSplatterPuff Sat 06-Apr-19 13:17:23

@hazandduck love your lion story. A school friend told everyone our favourite pop band were secretly living next door to her. She kept it up long after we'd realised it couldn't be true. She was still saying stuff like this in her 30s.

hazandduck Sat 06-Apr-19 08:03:21

Haha @maras2 I know it still makes me laugh now! Glad I got you a cuppa out of it 😄

polarpig Sat 06-Apr-19 05:02:50

I would take it with a massive pinch of salt but I wouldn't say anything because what good would it do?

maras2 Sat 06-Apr-19 04:34:06

hazandduck 'eaten by a lion' grin
I laughed out loud and woke DH.He keeps chuckling now and gone to make me a brew.

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