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to be sat in bed thinking I'll never meet the love of my life?

(12 Posts)
edp99 Sat 06-Apr-19 00:12:26

Single mum. Feeling fairly unloveable. Fairly attractive but stretch marky and bit of a wonky looking body after childbirth. Desperately lonely and no idea if I will ever meet someone who loves me the way I want/need them to...

Any positive stories/thoughts?

ASAS Sat 06-Apr-19 00:18:31

Not sure this is what you want to hear but married life can be shit and lonely

Aimily Sat 06-Apr-19 00:19:55

You already have met the love of your life. You.
I bet you're amazing, lovable and a wonderful person to know.

What are your hobbies and interests? Could you join any social groups and meet like minded people that way?

Have you got any friends that could introduce you to any new singles? Colleagues, friends of partners etc?

Have you considered dating sites.

Could go the old fashioned route and meet someone on a night out or down your local pub?

edp99 Sat 06-Apr-19 00:20:27

@ASAS I agree. I was very lonely in my previous abusive relationship. I'm under no illusions there.

peoplepleaser1 Sat 06-Apr-19 00:37:49

I've been where you are OP.

I did meet a wonderful man. I pinch myself every day to check I'm not dreaming.

I did find a happy place as a single person before I met DH though, and I do believe that it's not essential to have a partner.

sandi2019 Sat 06-Apr-19 01:06:35

I am sure you will meet someone. There are some lovely guys out there and many will be accepting of your child/children.
I think when you meet someone nice....they're just not bothered about wonky bits.
I have loads of stretch marks btw.....and, as I dont have kids, mine are down to greed/overeating 😂 and then extreme dieting. They've never been an issue for men though.....they're obvious (sort of like wrinkly/shiney and white..... I have tanned skin 😬) but no-one has ever mentioned them.
Rather than wait for a chance could get yourself online with some dating apps and see what's out there. There may be a gorgeous single Dad who is feeling the same as you right never know!
Dating apps I've tried are POF (I met partner on this) and tinder (which I didn't like). (bit expensive, mind!) Xx

vodkaredbullgirl Sat 06-Apr-19 01:09:08

Hey ive been single for over 9 yrs and i wouldnt change it for the world lol

gluteustothemaximus Sat 06-Apr-19 01:26:36

I was in an abusive relationship and then single for years. I got to love myself and really enjoy my DS just him and me.

Then I met DH. Stretch marks never an issue. None of us look like super models. Most of us just have normal looking bodies.

I look far worse now after 2 more children but he still loves me and my wobbly bits.

Enjoy your singleness and your child/children. Confidence in yourself is very attractive.

You'll probably meet someone when you least expect it.

sandi2019 Sat 06-Apr-19 01:42:10

Well....they do say when you are truly comfortable with who you are and are content being single.....the guys come knocking...!
I get this.....if you cant love can you expect someone else to....? xx

Dowser Sat 06-Apr-19 06:19:05

After my ex chucked me on the garbage heap of life aged 52 I felt the same way
Old , chubby, unattractive
No one would want me
When he finally left in 2006 I was getting so much stronger in myself by the time my divorce came through in 2008 I was ready to meet someone and just 10 weeks later I did

Now nearly 11 years later he’s happily snoring beside me

He thinks I’m lovely. I think I’m lovely. I’m no raving beauty, in 67 ffs but you don’t have to be.
You have to like yourself. Warts and all.

I’m in my crone years and I’m loving it. I have an opinion. I have a sense of humour. I make him laugh.
We love one another.

I honestly don’t think men want raving beauties. Most of us aren’t but I do think they appreciate a good woman who is confident and likes herself and shows interest in them.
Work on yourself and the magic will happen

Dowser Sat 06-Apr-19 06:25:36

Sand I met my husband on pof ( yes I married the silly sod as well)😂
You should’ve seen the state of him last night after way too much red wine... but he’s a happy drunk and he enjoyed himself

We are down in Worcester for a dowsing conference and red wine and dowsing seem to go hand in hand 😂

But that’s fine. My ex was a nasty drunk 🤢

Love yourself op. I would never have believed I would have remarried at 63 but there you go.
He’s lovely and my children and grandchildren love him too.

EleanorOalike Sat 06-Apr-19 06:26:53

Morning! This is how I wake up feeling most days to be honest. I’m 35 and have had one relationship of a year in my entire life. And he refused to call me his girlfriend. So that was a bit of a bummer. I really wanted kids so that’s what hurts more that anything.

I wouldn’t be up for internet dating but I know a lot of people, all shapes and sizes with or without kids who have found good relationships online. Even some really deeply unpleasant people who’ve acted in horrible ways have managed to find love and I’m sure that you are 10000 times nicer.

Self esteem seems to be an issue for you. At the moment you could probably meet someone who’d adore you and you’d not necessarily believe him because that’s not how you see yourself. Work on you and then get out there!

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