Short version of this story is that I have an annex attached to my house that I rented to a friend for a max of 18months, I allowed her bf to move in with her as a trial run until she sorted her debts out and they were able to get a deposit together. My mother took a dislike to the bf and the situation and every opportunity she saw she would "have a go" at them over petty things, eg running out of gas, scratches on furniture, smoking, electric heater use etc.
Anyway, while I was away a couple months ago another one of our properties came up for rent and she "offered" it to them, knowing full well they wouldn't be able to afford it. I wasnt here to witness the words used but I can imagine my mother didn't leave them much choice other than to move out. My friend even said "what your mum says goes, and she has the last word regardless of what anyone else wants to do."
I have the rental income from the properties, which effectively pay my mortgage and living costs.
Not only am I down the annex rent (small peppercorn rent) I am missing the house rent and a few other rents due to other reasons non related meaning I am going to struggle to pay my mortgage this month. Mother has offered to help, I've thanked her and refused as this is exactly what she wants, me to forever be financially tied to her.
My mother comes over EVERY morning to "help" out with my chores and it got to the stage where I was having to sneak my FWB out the front door as she arrived... I'm 34, he's 40... quite embarrassing I must say.
While I'm writing this I realise how ridiculous this sounds and I can't even believe i am mid 30s!
Anyway, It all came to a head the other day, I feel like my mother is consistently getting involved in battles she doesn't need to, trying to control my life by controlling my finances and who I decide to help and when. If she doesn't approve of the situation she will take charge and "solve" it.
I messaged her the next day after she had stormed off over always getting involved in my messes as she calls them and said that I think we both need some space from each other and I don't want her coming over in the mornings. I appreciate the help, I love her but she has to stop getting so involved in my life.
She's responded saying that I need to stop getting myself into situations that are uncontrollable that she needs to sort out for me, and that everything I do always ends up in a mess.
😂
Not sure what feedback I'm expecting but I just needed to have a rant. I'm in disbelief that that's the response I got to be honest, she's deluded if she thought trying to help a mate out is a mess, everything was fine before she got involved, I had a steady income from my annex and the house. Since she put her two pence in I'm short about 1k this month.
Oh well, any advice would be much appreciated. Probably worth mentioning she's been like this all my life, makes me feel like a 10year old. Maybe it's something to do with being an only child...
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Controlling mother or am I being UR
41 replies
Sammiejo12 · 05/04/2019 14:51
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