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To have intervened and embarrassed neighbours’ DD?

(68 Posts)
ThomasRichard Fri 05-Apr-19 13:45:58

I just got up, looked out of my window and just saw my neighbour’s teenage DD get smacked in the face by a boy. They were standing in a big group, laughing and messing around but it was quite a whack. I watched and thought of texting NDN but a few seconds later he grabbed her by the hair and yanked her around. I ran out, asked him WTH he was doing and told him not to touch anyone like that ever again. He denied it and mouthed off, NDN DD did the teenager dying of embarrassment thing, but he moved on.

WIBU? If it had been my DD I’d have been out there in a shot.

MyKingdomForBrie Fri 05-Apr-19 13:48:13

Jesus id have done exactly the same and told her parents ASAP.

Ploppymoodypants Fri 05-Apr-19 13:48:15

I would have done the same, although I guess context is everything. I am assuming she was not laughing and they were not okay fighting?

Ploppymoodypants Fri 05-Apr-19 13:48:47

**play fighting

Jackshouse Fri 05-Apr-19 13:49:42

I would also be telling her parents and/or the police. You were definitely right to intervene.

ThomasRichard Fri 05-Apr-19 13:50:08

She was laughing but it looked like it really hurt. I know boys did things to me at school and I laughed it off even when I wasn’t ok with it or it hurt because y’know female socialisation.

Toooldtocareanymore Fri 05-Apr-19 13:50:26

I would have done exactly the same and I would be telling ndn what I had seen and done

Peterpiperpickedwrong Fri 05-Apr-19 13:50:30

YWNBU. I have stopped my car and (foolishly in hindsight) yelled at a group of lads thumping another lad. It is just instinct to stop them harming someone, especially in your case as you know NDN DD. I would definately mention it to NDN too.

FerdinandAndHisMassiveBalls Fri 05-Apr-19 13:50:43

YANBU but yabu to not have called the police and told the parents.

HighlyUnlikely Fri 05-Apr-19 13:51:09

Yep, I'd have done the same as you. Make sure you tell her parents too. Shame she was embarrassed, but far better you spoke out.

Aquamarine1029 Fri 05-Apr-19 13:52:16

You definitely need to tell the parents. As soon as possible.

BlueMerchant Fri 05-Apr-19 13:52:44

YANBU. Make sure you tell her parents what you saw too.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Fri 05-Apr-19 13:54:26

I’d report it to the police tbh. Otherwise the DD will convince her parents that nothing happened and not to take it further.

justthecat Fri 05-Apr-19 13:54:46

Poor girl, you did right

recrudescence Fri 05-Apr-19 13:55:03

You did the right thing - no subtle or discreet way of intervening in a situation like that.

ThomasRichard Fri 05-Apr-19 13:55:37

I’ll let her parents know. She’ll hate me but there we go, that’s teenagers.

ThomasRichard Fri 05-Apr-19 14:00:53

Text sent. I expect they’ll be over later after work. Poor kid.

ClaireElizabethBeuchampFraser Fri 05-Apr-19 14:01:22

Oh my goodness, I would have done the same. He is lucky it wasn’t my daughter, she would have given him a split lip and a black eye for his trouble (and she is only 9).

I find it very worrying that these other children/ teens were laughing as he physically abused this girl! Please talk to her parents, this girl NEEDS to know that she does NOT have to put up with this kind of abuse! Domestic abuse in young teen relationships is frighteningly common and so many young girls just accept and think this is a normal part of a relationship. My ex neighbour took her own son to the police after he beat his girlfriend up (he was 16), his girlfriend denied it and refused to press charges. I know his parents were beside themselves with worry, they got him anger management therapy and insisted he do abuser courses. They also did everything they could to protect his gf and encourage her to escape the relationship (which she finally did).

He is older now, married with children and his parents say he has turned his life around. I truly hope that is the case for his wife’s sake.

Do you know what school these children go to OP? I would be tempted to contact the head teacher and tell them about this incident. Clearly these kids need a lot more guidance on acceptable behaviour.

Dottierichardson Fri 05-Apr-19 14:04:17

Good for you, it also tells boys that their behaviour unacceptable. If in school I would report this too.

SunshineCake Fri 05-Apr-19 14:07:14

You've done the right thing.

A few years ago I agonised about telling a neighbour something her Dds boyfriend had done and then he did something else so when I never saw her I told her. She was grateful. Dd dumped the boyfriend.

GiveMeAllTheGin8 Fri 05-Apr-19 14:08:08

That’s awful , the poor girl
Have you spoken to her?

JemSynergy Fri 05-Apr-19 14:08:53

I would have done the same and as a parent I would have thanked you for intervening.

Mrsjayy Fri 05-Apr-19 14:09:50

If they were toddlers would you have told him to keep his hands to himself? You did the right thing even if the girl died of embarresment I would let her parents know though

WarpedGalaxy Fri 05-Apr-19 14:14:53

Absolutely right to intervene. Absolutely right to inform the parents. The girl will survive a bit of embarrassment among her peers. What she may not survive is ongoing and escalating violence on the part of this and future domestic partners.

It’s to be hoped she might actually have learned something about not having to put up with unacceptable behaviour like this just because it’s the ‘laugh it off even though you hate it’ norm in her social group. She may not thank you now but one day she will. The others standing around doing nothing is most probably not wanting to stick their heads above the parapet or have the violence turned on them. It’s hard when you’re a teen, even when you’re uncomfortable with certain behaviours you don’t want to be the ‘uncool’ one who objects.

Lovemusic33 Fri 05-Apr-19 14:16:00

I would have done the same, no boy should be raising his hand to a girl even if it was so called “play fighting”. Well done for stepping in even if you did embarrass her, maybe it will make her see that this behaviour is not exceptable from a so called friend.

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