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Cousin making political comments

(63 Posts)
goldendoodles Fri 05-Apr-19 12:04:03

My cousin is about 10 years older than I am, and we only see each other at Christmas, parties etc. I'm posting this now, as I'm expecting very soon and just bored at home.

For background he left school at 16, got an apprenticeship, floated about different jobs, but now has a permanent job in insurance sales (on the phones).

I studied really hard in school and he'd rib me for being a nerd. I luckily managed to get a good job working in finance in the city, and so make a very decent salary. That was after years of studying and university, exams and exams blah blah, you know the story.

Anytime I see him, he always makes a comment about tax. eg, The higher rate tax should be 60%. Graduates don't deserve such huge salaries. "You and your tory friends". He is very socialist and constantly puts down anyone that has a decent job as being a "selfish tory". I have never told him who I vote for, so this is quite amusing as we both voted for the same party in the last election.

How can I stop his constant belittling comments? I often ignore, or if I try and correct him on simple economic theory he just rolls his eyes and huffs, saying "I don't have enough life experience".( Erm, I'm pretty sure a Cambridge economics degree taught me more about taxation then his life experience has led him to understand!)

Merryoldgoat Fri 05-Apr-19 12:08:10

Why don’t you just tell him that?

extremehydration Fri 05-Apr-19 12:11:56

Graduates don't deserve such huge salaries

I wasn't aware that graduates automatically commanded huge salaries. He's mistaken there, I'm sure.

He sounds wilfully ignorant and does not even realise you vote for the same party grin

As you only see him at Christmas, can't you make sure you are never alone with him so he doesn't get a chance to get on his hobby-horse? If he does get a comment out, just glibly change the subject:-

"Oh for goodness' sake, it's Christmas - the one time of the year we can put aside all this stuff and just have fun!"

Boom45 Fri 05-Apr-19 12:15:53

Just ignore him. You don't see him often and it sounds like you're both very sure of your own oppinions so its probably not worth engaging on the few occasions you do need to see him.

Pootles34 Fri 05-Apr-19 12:30:29

Are you not really tempted to have a little fun with him? Go full Marie-Antoinette on him.

kalopali Fri 05-Apr-19 12:42:15

I’d remind him that the “selfish Tories” who are paying a higher rate of tax are the reason people like him get to pay so little.

mbosnz Fri 05-Apr-19 12:57:30

I have a family member like this, and he's always desperately wanting to 'tease' me into engaging.

Basically, I don't think he's worth the bother or the waste of breath.

So I tend to say, 'yes X, if you say so'. Or, appearing to have been away with the fairies 'oh, what, did you say something?, with as vapid an expression on my face as possible, while wafting aimlessly away to do something more pressing like polish the glasses. . .

Although I got sufficient sick of it last time, having tried everything else, that I turned around and said, 'Oh for Christ's sake X, would you shut the hell up? For the love of Mike, give your tedious little rants a rest, just for ONCE'. (The room broke into spontaneous applause. Including from his wife. . .)

extremehydration Fri 05-Apr-19 13:04:59

'Oh for Christ's sake X, would you shut the hell up? For the love of Mike, give your tedious little rants a rest, just for ONCE'. (The room broke into spontaneous applause. Including from his wife. . .)


Awwlookatmybabyspider Fri 05-Apr-19 13:20:53

Whose Mike.confused

Awwlookatmybabyspider Fri 05-Apr-19 13:21:33

Arrrgghhh. I mean Who's Mike.

extremehydration Fri 05-Apr-19 15:04:11

for the love of Mike

A mild oath of shock, exasperation, annoyance, frustration, or anger, with "Mike" being a euphemistic substitution for "God." For the love of Mike, I didn't even see that car coming! Would you let me finish my story, for the love of Mike? Oh for the love of Mike, I just had the car fixed and now you've put a dent in it!
See also: love, mike, of
Farlex Dictionary of Idioms. © 2015 Farlex, Inc, all rights reserved.

for the love of Mike used to accompany an exasperated request or to express dismay. British informal
Mike is perhaps used here as a generic name for an Irishman; compare with mickey in take the mickey out of (at mickey).
See also: love, mike, of
Farlex Partner Idioms Dictionary © Farlex 2017

StarTheGirl Fri 05-Apr-19 15:06:58

Just tell him? He probably thinks you’re a raging right winger, simply because you work in finance and have a good salary. Totally unfair of him. Put him straight and then you can stop silently seething smile.

AmIRightOrAMeringue Fri 05-Apr-19 15:09:22

I don't think there is much more you can do or say, he sounds like he's just trying to wind you up, so I'd just respond as if he was making an unfunny joke. He doesn't actually want to learn anything from you just have a go at you to (in his mind) even things out. Ignore

MayFayner Fri 05-Apr-19 15:11:03

@extremehydration Probably best to avoid generic terms for nationalities, even if they are just copied and pasted from some silly website.

GregoryPeckingDuck Fri 05-Apr-19 15:13:48

Just tell him that he has no right to moan that you and your likes aren’t giving him enough money. How absurd.

extremehydration Fri 05-Apr-19 15:14:12


confused Just thought someone wanted to know what the phrase meant/how it originated!

GCAcademic Fri 05-Apr-19 15:17:26

Insurance sales, you say? You could point out to him that he is working for an evil corporation and is complicit in upholding capitalist ideology.

Otherwise, just burst out laughing when he starts, pat him on the head, and say "oh, aren't you funny?! you're just like the kids in the Students' Union were when I was at uni."

mbosnz Fri 05-Apr-19 15:17:32

Thank you for that extremehydration - I use the phrase, but didn't know how to explain it! smile

Although I'm a bit worried about the Irish connotation, maybe I'll be giving up on that one. . .

extremehydration Fri 05-Apr-19 15:18:50


Glad to be of help grin

Now, I'm off to look up "for Pete's sake..."

MayFayner Fri 05-Apr-19 15:20:04

@extremehydration I know that, but I’m letting you know that “mick” is an offensive term.
More to the point, I think the webpage is wrong- I don’t think the you phrase you used even has a link to that word.

VampirateQueen Fri 05-Apr-19 15:23:49

I would turn round and tell him you voted for he same party at the last elections and that it isnt your fault you did better them him, it is his fault and to stop taking it out on you.

Sausagerollers Fri 05-Apr-19 15:25:02

Just relish the fact that when you know who the "Uncle Knobhead" is in your family, you can then be certain it isn't you!

extremehydration Fri 05-Apr-19 15:28:04



I don't use the word "mick" - I am aware of the term being offensive. I simply haven't censored the result that came up in the idiom dictionary, that's all.

Teddybear45 Fri 05-Apr-19 15:28:39

A lot of insurance companies train their sales agents up to be actuaries. So it’s very possible he may know a lot more than you think. Don’t discount his opinions just because he isn’t a Cambridge graduate.

Inthehatbox Fri 05-Apr-19 15:30:17

I have a cousin like this. He even tried to tell me my politics were wrong at my grandmother’s funeral. In the car following the coffin to the crematorium and at the wake. 😕

OP, it’s his problem, not yours. You don’t see him often but you are a major player in his life. He is jealous, he’s in competition with you. You might not think of him one year to the next, he will think of you all the time.

Your best way of dealing with it is to remember this when you are with him. Smile, be professional, pity and ignore.

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