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You're 'barely pregnant'

(182 Posts)
Habbs Fri 05-Apr-19 10:10:31

Had a 1 to 1 in work, all fine really but they said though the quality of my work is the same I am working a bit slower than usual. I explained I'm struggling to concentrate as hard as usual, I'm 24 weeks pregnant and that's probably something to do with it. My manager literally scoffed and said "I don't think we can go blaming that, you're barely pregnant!"

AIBU to be annoyed? I'm 6 months pregnant, twice the size I normally am, I've got awful sciatica and my legs cramp sitting at my desk for too long so need to stretch my legs more often. I'm also constantly weeing. These things do take time out of the working day. I definitely don't feel barely pregnant.

Habbs Sun 07-Apr-19 09:39:20

Seen quite a few posts saying about how I'm expecting my employer to assume that pregnant employees will underperform. This isn't the case. I'm not missing deadlines, I'm ensuring all submitted work is of the same high standard, these are the most important aspects of the role. I also didn't expect them to assume anything, I literally told them I'm struggling to get as much done per day but that I am prioritising to ensure all important deadlines are met.

I didn't expect them to just allow me to 'underperform', I didn't expect it to not be mentioned, I simply wanted to have a discussion about what reasonable adjustments could be made to possibly help this and just to make him aware of the situation. I don't think it's unreasonable, especially as I only have 40 shifts left until maternity leave. It's not been the entire pregnancy, it's just this last leg of work that's starting to become difficult due to various health reasons.

My issue, and why I'm posting is the insinuation he is making that my pregnancy is not far along enough to explain these changes, and that it is down to me just not bothering, or not working as hard when that isn't true. Pregnancy isn't an illness but some of the things that come hand in hand with it can make you seriously ill and as women it's not our choice to either work or have babies, we can do both. If we are getting nothing done and struggling to continue then most employers, Midwife's and doctors will sign you off, but if on the whole you are capable of working with some reasonable, and temporary adjustments then that's entirely fair and shouldn't be viewed as women asking for special treatment - the world as we know it would quite literally end if we all stopped having babies and it's not wrong to want our employers to acknowledge that although it is our choice to have children it is also our right to be supported through it.

isshoes Sun 07-Apr-19 10:13:32

I find some of the arguments on here in support of clueless boss utterly bizarre. Yes pregnancy is usually a ‘self-inflicted’ condition, but unlike say a skiing accident, or cosmetic surgery (when it is done purely to enhance one’s looks), it is a) a biological imperative and b) necessary for the continuation of the human race. If all pregnant women were expected to work at the exact same level of efficiency as other people, and without any accommodations, fewer women would work and there would probably be poorer pregnancy outcomes in a number of cases. As others have said, men get to procreate without having to endure pregnancy and childbirth, so why isn’t it fair that women who are pregnant should be offered more flexible working conditions in the interests of her and her baby remaining healthy and comfortable?

Also a few posters are saying that women want to ‘have it all’ and are suggesting that the OP is admitting that her performance has been somewhat weaker but is also annoyed that her boss has suggested that pregnant women can’t work at full efficiency. I don’t think that’s the case at all? No one is saying that it’s appalling to suggest that women can’t work at full strength when pregnant, what they’re saying is that it’s reasonable to make some allowances in these circumstances, and also that phrases like ‘you’re barely pregnant’ and ‘baby brain’ are condescending and inappropriate.

Allergictoironing Sun 07-Apr-19 11:01:41

I am not, and never have been, pregnant. I will never know how hard or easy it is. However I completely understand the need for employers to make the necessary adjustments to help a pregnant woman perform to her best ability for as long as she feels able.

Apart from the legal requirements for this, which are significant, from a long term practical PoV any employer who looks after their staff will become an employer of choice and able to attract the best staff and encourage loyalty.

And from a human viewpoint, a pregnant woman is doing something incredible and miraculous and should be treated with all due consideration.

flowergrrl77 Sun 07-Apr-19 11:03:23

Reading your last post OP it sounds as though you’ve been attacked a lot on this thread, I’ve only really read your posts (green highlighted)

I just want to wish you well and good luck. You’re doing a great job! You’re coping with the loss of doca hexanoic acid from your brain but still getting the job done to a good standard, you DO deserve reasonable adjustments!

Just want you to know that there are others who support you xx

FerdinandAndHisMassiveBalls Sun 07-Apr-19 11:53:02

get what he means though. Shit doesn't get real until 30 weeks+


This is when I became vaguely aware that this would all affect me and dw started hogging the bed with her sausage pillow.

Amused that @bananacloud thinks pregnancy is self inflicted. Missed sex ed that day did you?

CoffeeDeprivation Mon 08-Apr-19 09:51:53

OP, I'm with you. I had a normal pregnancy but my first trimester I was so tired I would fall asleep anywhere. In the second trimester my brain just didn't focus as much as before. In the third trimester the back pain, swollen legs and sciatica made my normal commute difficult and limited how much I moved. I still consider it a normal pregnancy but i certainly had to put all I had to meet deadlines and my employee was good in that sense and allowed certain flexibility. I actually was more productive in the last weeks of pregnancy than earlier on because my "nesting" instinct went onto cleaning up my emails and leaving work ready before leaving! In any case, pregnancy affected me from very early on, and I needed adjustments.

BabyDueDecember2019 Sat 27-Apr-19 05:26:43

Just read your latest thread OP. What happened after you reported this to HR?

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