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You're 'barely pregnant'

(182 Posts)
Habbs Fri 05-Apr-19 10:10:31

Had a 1 to 1 in work, all fine really but they said though the quality of my work is the same I am working a bit slower than usual. I explained I'm struggling to concentrate as hard as usual, I'm 24 weeks pregnant and that's probably something to do with it. My manager literally scoffed and said "I don't think we can go blaming that, you're barely pregnant!"

AIBU to be annoyed? I'm 6 months pregnant, twice the size I normally am, I've got awful sciatica and my legs cramp sitting at my desk for too long so need to stretch my legs more often. I'm also constantly weeing. These things do take time out of the working day. I definitely don't feel barely pregnant.

Xyzzzzz Fri 05-Apr-19 10:25:36

Please speak with your HR as these comments are not acceptable.

kaytee87 Fri 05-Apr-19 10:25:58

He's a dick.

Also when I was 6 weeks pregnant I felt worse than i did at 6 months. He's not got a fucking clue does he.

cloudymelonade Fri 05-Apr-19 10:26:19

I was hospitalised 3 times during weeks 8-20 of this pregnancy. If someone had said that to me, I would have found the strength for a swift slap!
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy OP thanks
It's amazing how much pregnancy attracts arsehole comments.

Purplecatshopaholic Fri 05-Apr-19 10:27:14

Oooft, what? HR person here. Speak to HR, and indeed your Union if you have one. That comment was totally out of order. Good luck with the pregnancy BTW

PrincessAndThePee Fri 05-Apr-19 10:28:52

My manager is a man with no kids!! Will speak to HR.

Man you say? No children you say?

I am very very shocked to hear this. wink

Send him this and then remind him that women have literally given birth to 24 week babies. Fucking idiot.

I thought this was going to be about morning sickness in the first few weeks or something which people don't always understand

PrincessAndThePee Fri 05-Apr-19 10:30:12

If he a kilos worth of growth on his bladder I don't think he'd be feeling too well either.

outpinked Fri 05-Apr-19 10:30:56

Your boss is an idiot.

Even when you’re ‘barely pregnant’ at 5/6 weeks it takes it out of you never mind at six months!

TotalNoob Fri 05-Apr-19 10:31:33

Well you could start maternity leave at 29wks so I’d do that just to spite the wanker grin

Stompythedinosaur Fri 05-Apr-19 10:32:11

That's a shocking thing to say, I hope you get a positive response response from HR.

DonnaDarko Fri 05-Apr-19 10:32:40

Speak to HR and also ask for an occupational health assessment (I think that's what it is) . They should be making sure you're comfortable. I had one when I first told work I was pregnant and they said it could be redone at any time. I was lucky that I didn't need it again.

iwantatattoo Fri 05-Apr-19 10:32:42

What a cunt.
It's not possible to be barely pregnant. Even at 6 weeks late you are either pregnant or not pregnant.

Lizzie48 Fri 05-Apr-19 10:44:32

I agree with PPs that that was a really horrible thing for your manager to say and you should take it up with HR.

Billben Fri 05-Apr-19 10:44:48

Wow, in this day and age where you have to watch everything you say, I can’t believe he came out with a comment like that🙄
I wouldn’t expect much sympathy from him in future as your pregnancy progresses so to save yourself from comments like this, get HR to remind him of the law.

PregnantSea Fri 05-Apr-19 10:56:10

What a total dickhead. Definitely speak to HR and make a complaint about it, that's unacceptable. As well as being very stupid...

Habbs Fri 05-Apr-19 10:56:43

I was visibly annoyed when he said it but instantly thought I may have to complain about that so didn't say much as I'd probably of snapped at him. He's just sent me a breezy email along the lines of "Here's the doc from our review this morning, I've put a section on the back where you can fill in some ideas, if you could please have a brainstorm on how to maintain productivity throughout the rest of your pregnancy (especially the later parts when baby brain kicks in wink) and I'll review them, make sure we nip any concerns in the bud. We'll have another catch up when you're a tad further along"

It's put my back up even more to be honest but I feel anything he say will at this point. I finish work on the 31st May anyway as I have lots of annual leave to use before my due date. I'm not bloody missing deadlines just have less work logged each day on my daily work sheet. That's not going to get better as I am doing as much as I can physically manage. Even when I'm just sat at my work trying to desk I can barely concentrate sometimes and find myself just zoning out. It's not a choice!!

Habbs Fri 05-Apr-19 10:58:11

"Sat at my work trying to desk" .. that sentence sums up the problem doesn't it blush

kaytee87 Fri 05-Apr-19 10:59:56

Seriously!? He put that in writing????
Take it straight to HR

Habbs Fri 05-Apr-19 11:01:12

@kaytee87 Even the winky face yes! It's a relatively laid back role and he is quite casual with staff, but I don't feel by any means close enough to him for him to joke about my 'baby brain'

LemonRedwood Fri 05-Apr-19 11:01:34

Keep that email and also show it to HR. Referencing "baby brain" is also discriminatory and unprofessional.

Smelborp Fri 05-Apr-19 11:01:42

It sounds like he’s trying to portray your productivity as an issue. Definitely flag this with HR.

Pomtastic Fri 05-Apr-19 11:02:17

That's brilliant he's put such wank in writing, now you have a massive case against him that you can put to HR smile

What absolute idiot, that email is so ridiculously patronising it's unreal shock

Shadycorner Fri 05-Apr-19 11:03:40

I think I would fill in the section he has "kindly" provided for comments before taking it to HR, referring to the illegality of pregnancy discrimination. I'm sure others on here can advise ... . Good luck op. Your boss is a prize twonk.

lottiegarbanzo Fri 05-Apr-19 11:06:26

Definitely go higher and ask for training for him and an occupational health pregnancy review thing for you.

Meeting targets at any cost should not be the pre-determined recommendation.

But, despite the fact you are very right and he is very wrong, do bear in mind that it is common and normal for institutional discriminaton against mothers to kick in during pregnancy and continue, forever. Many, many women are made redundant, subjected to unfavourable restructuring, or overlooked for development opportunities, while on mat leave and afterwards. Do think carefully about the institutional character of your company and how the 'higher ups' are likely to view you, once you've made your, very correct and constructive, complaint.

DarlingNikita Fri 05-Apr-19 11:07:31

Go to HR. If they're worth their salt they will be concerned about the 'baby brain' comment and the winking smiley.

lottiegarbanzo Fri 05-Apr-19 11:09:18

I'd def want to ask him for his references substantiating 'baby brain' and its effects in the workplace (but might not actually be so goady). I found I was very tired in pg and that had an effect but my brain was a good as ever.

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