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You're 'barely pregnant'

(182 Posts)
Habbs Fri 05-Apr-19 10:10:31

Had a 1 to 1 in work, all fine really but they said though the quality of my work is the same I am working a bit slower than usual. I explained I'm struggling to concentrate as hard as usual, I'm 24 weeks pregnant and that's probably something to do with it. My manager literally scoffed and said "I don't think we can go blaming that, you're barely pregnant!"

AIBU to be annoyed? I'm 6 months pregnant, twice the size I normally am, I've got awful sciatica and my legs cramp sitting at my desk for too long so need to stretch my legs more often. I'm also constantly weeing. These things do take time out of the working day. I definitely don't feel barely pregnant.

BloodsportForAll Fri 05-Apr-19 10:11:50

What a thing to say! I'd be gobsmacked

Smelborp Fri 05-Apr-19 10:12:14

That was a ridiculous comment. Does your boss have children?

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup Fri 05-Apr-19 10:13:09

Your manager is a dick.

I wasn't working through my pregnancy and I was tired and forgetful a lot. I have total respect for anyone who can work through that! Good luck on your pregnancy.

Think about making a complaint to HR if you have one.

VictoriaBun Fri 05-Apr-19 10:13:49

Yes complain to HR.

MustBeAWeasly Fri 05-Apr-19 10:13:58

I'd be saying something to HR that's shocking! You're not barely pregnant you're very pregnant and growing a baby zaps all your energy even without all the other symptoms

Cligger Fri 05-Apr-19 10:14:09

That's insane! Just clearly remind your boss of discrimination in pregnancy being frowned upon!!

KC225 Fri 05-Apr-19 10:14:56

6 days late = barely pregnant

6 months = VERY PREGNANT

That was insensitive and not very supportive. Do they have form for this?
Was your performance flagged up before you were pregnant? Just thinking, you may want have a word with Personnel if you think they are trying to pahae you out.

Nothininmenoggin Fri 05-Apr-19 10:16:51

Omg that's awful how are you barely pregnant at 6 months! Your body is undergoing huge changes and growing another human. Is your manager male or female? Whatever, they have a huge nerve belittling your pregnancy whatever stage you are at. Good luck with remainder of your pregnancy and enjoy your time off work. grin

Shadycorner Fri 05-Apr-19 10:18:54

Habbs Fri 05-Apr-19 10:18:53

My manager is a man with no kids!! Will speak to HR.

StargazyDrifter Fri 05-Apr-19 10:19:10

Your boss is an idiot. youre growing a human!

Even with the smoothest of pregnancies there are undeniable physiological changes - more blood pumping, more tender muscles, lighter sleep... Add to that some of the more specific stuff like sciatica and so on and even the commute in can warrant a medal on some days. Take no notice, you and bump come first. That's all that matters.

You're also supposed to have a risk assessment each trimester, even for a desk job. I don't suppose your boss has clocked that either.

MRex Fri 05-Apr-19 10:19:32

I think you need to ask HR to have a quiet word. I don't know anybody who'd expect the exact same level of performance from someone who's 6 months pregnant, that isn't reasonable of your manager.

Fraula Fri 05-Apr-19 10:20:10

Even when 'barely' pregnant, I'm at my most knackered!!

I would complain to HR if there is one where you work, so this isn't allowed to go on our record. If you think it might be better, speak to your manager first to try to resolve it. You are totally right, so be assertive

FudgeBrownie2019 Fri 05-Apr-19 10:20:42

Tell HR what an absolute knobend your manager is and get him to apologise. If he doesn't understand pregnancy perhaps he ought to not be working with pregnant women.

Helsvamp Fri 05-Apr-19 10:21:50

24 weeks is 5 months not quiet 6. I am 26 weeks pregnant will not count it as 6 months until 28 weeks . Plus your boss is a idiot needs a slap

RebootYourEngine Fri 05-Apr-19 10:22:00

Please mention this to HR. That comment is not acceptable.

Habbs Fri 05-Apr-19 10:22:45

@Helsvamp In the 6th month, not 6 months complete

Springwalk Fri 05-Apr-19 10:22:51


What a total dick!

Complain now

DantesInferno Fri 05-Apr-19 10:23:18

6 days late = barely pregnant
6 months = VERY PREGNANT

6 days late = possibly pregnant
6 months = PREGNANT

you either are pregnant, or not pregnant - did you mean, only just pg? Still not right for a colleague to belittle you

somuchinfo Fri 05-Apr-19 10:23:23

Would have to be a MAN making a comment like that! Idiot. Men have no concept of what it's like to be pregnant. My daughter has just had baby, was ill the whole nine months. In and out of PAU for anti sickness injections all way through. Like many women your doing a fantastic job of working when pregnant. Defo speak to HR.

DantesInferno Fri 05-Apr-19 10:24:02

there are 52 weeks in a year (12 months)
24 weeks is 5 months not quiet 6. I am 26 weeks pregnant will not count it as 6 months until 28 weeks

26 is half a year, or 6 months

GarthFunkel Fri 05-Apr-19 10:24:07

Unless he's mistaken you for an elephant, you are definitely not just barely pregnant. And even if you were genuinely barely pregnant it shouldn't be used against your performance.

MsPavlichenko Fri 05-Apr-19 10:24:30

Yes. It is discrimination. Speak to HR and your union if you are in one. If not, consider joining one now. This sort of attitude now doesn't bode well.

In any case , any stage of pregnancy can be problematic so it is a ridiculous thing to say.

lottiegarbanzo Fri 05-Apr-19 10:25:33

That managers needs some training. His ignorance is going to land the company with a discrimination case one day.

Xyzzzzz Fri 05-Apr-19 10:25:36

Please speak with your HR as these comments are not acceptable.

kaytee87 Fri 05-Apr-19 10:25:58

He's a dick.

Also when I was 6 weeks pregnant I felt worse than i did at 6 months. He's not got a fucking clue does he.

cloudymelonade Fri 05-Apr-19 10:26:19

I was hospitalised 3 times during weeks 8-20 of this pregnancy. If someone had said that to me, I would have found the strength for a swift slap!
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy OP thanks
It's amazing how much pregnancy attracts arsehole comments.

Purplecatshopaholic Fri 05-Apr-19 10:27:14

Oooft, what? HR person here. Speak to HR, and indeed your Union if you have one. That comment was totally out of order. Good luck with the pregnancy BTW

PrincessAndThePee Fri 05-Apr-19 10:28:52

My manager is a man with no kids!! Will speak to HR.

Man you say? No children you say?

I am very very shocked to hear this. wink

Send him this and then remind him that women have literally given birth to 24 week babies. Fucking idiot.

I thought this was going to be about morning sickness in the first few weeks or something which people don't always understand

PrincessAndThePee Fri 05-Apr-19 10:30:12

If he a kilos worth of growth on his bladder I don't think he'd be feeling too well either.

outpinked Fri 05-Apr-19 10:30:56

Your boss is an idiot.

Even when you’re ‘barely pregnant’ at 5/6 weeks it takes it out of you never mind at six months!

TotalNoob Fri 05-Apr-19 10:31:33

Well you could start maternity leave at 29wks so I’d do that just to spite the wanker grin

Stompythedinosaur Fri 05-Apr-19 10:32:11

That's a shocking thing to say, I hope you get a positive response response from HR.

DonnaDarko Fri 05-Apr-19 10:32:40

Speak to HR and also ask for an occupational health assessment (I think that's what it is) . They should be making sure you're comfortable. I had one when I first told work I was pregnant and they said it could be redone at any time. I was lucky that I didn't need it again.

iwantatattoo Fri 05-Apr-19 10:32:42

What a cunt.
It's not possible to be barely pregnant. Even at 6 weeks late you are either pregnant or not pregnant.

Lizzie48 Fri 05-Apr-19 10:44:32

I agree with PPs that that was a really horrible thing for your manager to say and you should take it up with HR.

Billben Fri 05-Apr-19 10:44:48

Wow, in this day and age where you have to watch everything you say, I can’t believe he came out with a comment like that🙄
I wouldn’t expect much sympathy from him in future as your pregnancy progresses so to save yourself from comments like this, get HR to remind him of the law.

PregnantSea Fri 05-Apr-19 10:56:10

What a total dickhead. Definitely speak to HR and make a complaint about it, that's unacceptable. As well as being very stupid...

Habbs Fri 05-Apr-19 10:56:43

I was visibly annoyed when he said it but instantly thought I may have to complain about that so didn't say much as I'd probably of snapped at him. He's just sent me a breezy email along the lines of "Here's the doc from our review this morning, I've put a section on the back where you can fill in some ideas, if you could please have a brainstorm on how to maintain productivity throughout the rest of your pregnancy (especially the later parts when baby brain kicks in wink) and I'll review them, make sure we nip any concerns in the bud. We'll have another catch up when you're a tad further along"

It's put my back up even more to be honest but I feel anything he say will at this point. I finish work on the 31st May anyway as I have lots of annual leave to use before my due date. I'm not bloody missing deadlines just have less work logged each day on my daily work sheet. That's not going to get better as I am doing as much as I can physically manage. Even when I'm just sat at my work trying to desk I can barely concentrate sometimes and find myself just zoning out. It's not a choice!!

Habbs Fri 05-Apr-19 10:58:11

"Sat at my work trying to desk" .. that sentence sums up the problem doesn't it blush

kaytee87 Fri 05-Apr-19 10:59:56

Seriously!? He put that in writing????
Take it straight to HR

Habbs Fri 05-Apr-19 11:01:12

@kaytee87 Even the winky face yes! It's a relatively laid back role and he is quite casual with staff, but I don't feel by any means close enough to him for him to joke about my 'baby brain'

LemonRedwood Fri 05-Apr-19 11:01:34

Keep that email and also show it to HR. Referencing "baby brain" is also discriminatory and unprofessional.

Smelborp Fri 05-Apr-19 11:01:42

It sounds like he’s trying to portray your productivity as an issue. Definitely flag this with HR.

Pomtastic Fri 05-Apr-19 11:02:17

That's brilliant he's put such wank in writing, now you have a massive case against him that you can put to HR smile

What absolute idiot, that email is so ridiculously patronising it's unreal shock

Shadycorner Fri 05-Apr-19 11:03:40

I think I would fill in the section he has "kindly" provided for comments before taking it to HR, referring to the illegality of pregnancy discrimination. I'm sure others on here can advise ... . Good luck op. Your boss is a prize twonk.

lottiegarbanzo Fri 05-Apr-19 11:06:26

Definitely go higher and ask for training for him and an occupational health pregnancy review thing for you.

Meeting targets at any cost should not be the pre-determined recommendation.

But, despite the fact you are very right and he is very wrong, do bear in mind that it is common and normal for institutional discriminaton against mothers to kick in during pregnancy and continue, forever. Many, many women are made redundant, subjected to unfavourable restructuring, or overlooked for development opportunities, while on mat leave and afterwards. Do think carefully about the institutional character of your company and how the 'higher ups' are likely to view you, once you've made your, very correct and constructive, complaint.

DarlingNikita Fri 05-Apr-19 11:07:31

Go to HR. If they're worth their salt they will be concerned about the 'baby brain' comment and the winking smiley.

lottiegarbanzo Fri 05-Apr-19 11:09:18

I'd def want to ask him for his references substantiating 'baby brain' and its effects in the workplace (but might not actually be so goady). I found I was very tired in pg and that had an effect but my brain was a good as ever.

Purplecatshopaholic Fri 05-Apr-19 11:09:33

Did he actually put the phrase Baby Brain in an email?? He is an idiot, and one who is sailing very close to the wind if you wish to kick up a fuss. Seriously go to HR right away

GregoryPeckingDuck Fri 05-Apr-19 11:11:35

Next time give him a very comprehensive list of everything that is troubling you and ask him if he would go to work if he felt that way and why he expects you to just because you’re a pregnant woman. Pregnancy is fucking difficult. What an arse.

scratchbass Fri 05-Apr-19 11:11:38

Omg the "baby brain" comment.

I've had to say something to someone at work who used that statement and I asked them if they were trying to say pregnant working women are incompetent. That soon put an end to that nonsense!

HeyCarrieAnneWhatsYourGame Fri 05-Apr-19 11:11:59

Jesus. 1979 called, they want their office manager back. What a bellend.

Stompythedinosaur Fri 05-Apr-19 11:12:27

Wow, that is very offensive, and also illegal discrimination! Can't believe he had the gall to put it in writing! Def take it to HR or his manager.

Haffdonga Fri 05-Apr-19 11:13:23

Ah - so you are obviously only as pregnant as your boss deems you to be, probably based on his limited observation of your waist size.

Seriously, I'd write him a polite email and copy in HR, detailing exactly what symptoms you are experiencing, how this is affecting you and the support you may need to allow you to keep on doing a good job.

Dear Twatboss
After our 1 to 1 yesterday, I have thought a little more about your comment that 'you are barely pregnant' and that this cant be an explanation for my work rate slightly slowing down recently. I appreciate that you are happy my work is as high quality as ever but I would like to explain some aspects of my pregnancy symptoms to you in order to ensure I'm able to keep working to my best standards.
- my pregnancy has caused sciatica. This causes AB and C. I can usually relieve the symptoms for myself and continue to work by doing XY and Z. In order to allow me to keep working to high standards I would like to be supported in this by (e.g. being allowed to stand up and move around regularly, take a break in meetings, better chair)
- I need to use the loo much more frequently than usual. I would be able to keep completing all my tasks to a high standard by ... (e.g. being allowed frequent breaks)
- I find it more difficult to concentrate for long periods. I would like to be supported ...
In addition I have experienced 'morning' sickness several times through the day. I can frequently experience heartburn and may find that eating little and often through the day reduces these symptoms instead of taking one lunch break. I am sure you can understand why all these minor issues combined could have an affect on my work rate and I'd like to reassure you that I am doing everything I can to manage these and to keep working well. I am copying in HR as I know they will also want to be aware of the situation.
I appreciate your support bla bla bla and very grateful for bla bla.
Best wishes

lottiegarbanzo Fri 05-Apr-19 11:15:03

I really wouldn't go into detail with him directly. He'll misunderstand and dismiss it. Use proper channels and processes. Be very professional.

ChicCroissant Fri 05-Apr-19 11:16:36

Tbh, I would speak to HR about this even if it's just to stop him making similar comments over the next couple of months.

I'm not sure that your company will have a formal policy about working performance whilst pregnant, but if you need to invoke something formal the sciatica sounds the way to go (I know that shouldn't be necessary, but it may focus the manager's mind a bit more).

Noobcrumble Fri 05-Apr-19 11:18:03

I know it’s already been said but had to post - what an arrogant, ignorant asshole - HR all the way x

ILoveMaxiBondi Fri 05-Apr-19 11:18:34

Well we have written confirmation that he is thick as pig shit and he doesn’t even have “baby brain” to “blame it on”. wink

How stupid is he to put that in writing?? Almost as if he has had zero managerial training whatsoever.

Noobcrumble Fri 05-Apr-19 11:19:32

HeyCarrieAnneWhatsYourGame - brilliant grin

IncrediblySadToo Fri 05-Apr-19 11:21:35

😂🤣😂🤣 that stupid sod has pretty much just invited himself along to some deathly boring training sessions 🤣

How old is Captain Stupid?

Disfordarkchocolate Fri 05-Apr-19 11:23:35

Another suggestion for taking HR and/or union advice here. He's made it far worse with that email, the nicest way of looking at this is that he needs some advice and training on the rights of pregnancy employees at work and how to avoid maternity discrimination. I had something similar from my manager with baby No.1 when my GP told me I had to stop work. She was massively apologetic when she got pregnant 6 months letter.

EchoCardioGran Fri 05-Apr-19 11:32:19

Wow, what an arse.
Bang to rights with that email. Lovely that he is dickhead enough to put it all in writing for you. Keep a hard copy also.
Don't even discuss it with him ....HR and union if you are in one.
I'm all for his head on a plate. Metaphorically speaking of course grin

BlueSkiesLies Fri 05-Apr-19 11:33:39

I though you were going to say 6 days not 6 months!

That’s v pg!!!

floribunda18 Fri 05-Apr-19 11:37:39

No such thing as "a bit pregnant". The worst symptoms can be right at the beginning.

CatkinToadflax Fri 05-Apr-19 11:38:21

What an utter twattish buffoon.

My DS1 was born at 24 weeks. He's had one heck of a battle and has various disabilities as a result, but is now a very irritating at times 13 year old. I'd be happy to send him along to your office OP to meet Twatty Boss, as an example of barely pregnantishness? grin

Purplecatshopaholic Fri 05-Apr-19 11:40:32

Yeah, keep all his emails to you on this subject!

C8H10N4O2 Fri 05-Apr-19 11:41:18

Don't discuss further with the manager, take your written account of the discussion and the document he has written to HR.

Express your concern that assumptions are being made relating to your pregnancy which will result in a poor performance rating. Also that you feel unsupported and stressed from the person who should be managing the situation.

Its important to document the whole process, both for other women's sakes and also anticipating the idiot is still in place when you return.

RedWineAllMine Fri 05-Apr-19 11:41:46

He's not happy that you're pregnant and thinks your slacking, and doesn't accept pregnancy as a good reason to be slacking. Towards the end of my pregnancy I could barely walk, all my feet and ankles swelled, and around how far you are my knees started to swell and I started waddling.
He's a knob who is also discriminating against you and your pregnancy which isn't allowed. Report him immediately. He should try carrying a baby around n see how he "gets on". What a horrible man.

saraclara Fri 05-Apr-19 11:45:10

So you're offended by baby brain, yet you were the one who told him you're finding it hard to concentrate?

Yes, his original comment was wrong, but we can't have it both ways. Your productivity is down because of your pregnancy. You want that to be understood. But at the same time, you (and most people here) are offended that someone thinks pregnant women aren't up to the job.

Of course pregnancy affects us, and in different ways for each of us. But I think we have to be careful not to dump on people (or get them into trouble officially) for actually recognising that, but wording it poorly. I thought that although his email was tactless, he was at least trying to accommodate you.

We can't have our cake and eat it, by moaning that the pregnancy means we can't work as efficiently, then getting angry when one of our bosses says we can't work as efficiently.

Ellie56 Fri 05-Apr-19 11:46:22

What an uneducated discriminatory knob you have for a manager. I would definitely raise with HR.

MadameDD Fri 05-Apr-19 11:51:24

I'd certainly complain to HR - what a dickish comment and he/she needs relevant training.

I'm on a temporary contract right now - but approx. 10 weeks pregnant and as my contract expires at start of May I've not bothered to tell anyone here apart from my line manager but it won't impact them anyway. My next role whether it be permanent/contract etc I'd tell them of course but any sort of discrimination like that I'd be off to HR like a shot.

gairytoes Fri 05-Apr-19 11:51:26

I'm annoyed at this as it perpetuates the 'no big deal' attitude to pregnancy that seems to be de rigeur these days. Belittling crap.

MadameDD Fri 05-Apr-19 11:54:06

Definitely forward that twattish email re 'baby brain' and winking emoji to HR, who the fuck does he think he is?

Letsnotusemyname Fri 05-Apr-19 11:54:11

I think this chaps only experience of pregnancy was his own ie in his own mum’s tum. Everything was warm and cosy.

He doesn’t seem to do empathy or be well read. A bit of a mansplainer about him.

Is he an older man, younger?

All the best.

Habbs Fri 05-Apr-19 11:59:30

@saraclara I said in the op, and to my manager, that I'm struggling to concentrate and that it'll be due to my pregnancy. He then belittled that, told me I'm barely pregnant and then made further comments about needing to get on top of my performance before 'baby brain' kicks in when I'm 'more' pregnant. Of course I'm offended! I don't really believe he is recognising it as you say he is, more that he's dismissing it, saying it's not a viable 'excuse' at this point and that I need to brainstorm ideas to fix it. In reality I'm probably not going to be able to pick up the momentum to like I was before as I get further along, and the fact that I'm not missing deadlines or letting the standard do my work fall, only the quantity would show that I am giving it a good go! I don't want to have my cake and eat it, I've said I'm struggling due to the pregnancy but am doing my best and that should be accepted, rather than being told it's not due to my pregnancy - I can only do what I can do!

Habbs Fri 05-Apr-19 12:01:07

Details sent over to HR, thanks everyone for the advice

Happynow001 Fri 05-Apr-19 12:01:24

Keep that email and also show it to HR. Referencing "baby brain" is also discriminatory and unprofessional.
^^Email this plus any related correspondence from him/HR/the company generally to your personal email address in case it's necessary afterwards and you don't have access to your company email account.

Check your company's intranet site or any hard copy manual you have to double check your mutual rights and responsibilities are.

Also keep a log (also emailed to your personal email address) of any verbal comments your manager has made in case you need this later.

mrsk28 Fri 05-Apr-19 12:08:52

I'm glad you sent everything to HR. I can't believe that a manager thinks they can make comments like that in this day and age!

And don't feel bad, I feel completely useless at work for my entire pregnancy. You're a lot more tired and constantly forgetting what you're trying to do!

Thankfully employment laws protect pregnant women very well so you don't have to excuse yourself to anyone.

Sindragosan Fri 05-Apr-19 12:11:40

Arsehole. I've been in several jobs where there are strict limitations during pregnancy and no one has dared complain about performance (because the union would have a field day).

The only downside I've found of pregnancy in the workplace is you tend to get lumbered with more paperwork, but everyone wins as you can sit down more and others can offload their paperwork.

Justaboy Fri 05-Apr-19 12:17:58

My manager is a man with no kids!! Will speak to HR.

And thats the root cause of the problem. I've got some male mates only one has a child there is a world of difference in attuide from the have to the have nots. I reckon that this is why theres a lot of problems in relationships when children arrive it takes quite a lot of adjustment and sometimes time to cope with the changes.

MumUndone Fri 05-Apr-19 12:18:07

Wow. Absolutely this is pregnancy discrimination, speak to HR.

managedmis Fri 05-Apr-19 12:18:43

Just pass him a bigger spade why don't you

What a fool

happilyevernever Fri 05-Apr-19 12:23:38

Well done for speaking to HR. I’m only 5 weeks pregnant, so god knows what he’d class that as, and I’m struggling a lot with work, everything is making me nauseous and I’m tired all the time. He needs a good talking to, pregnancy is a difficult time and he needs to understand how to make it easier for those under his care

AryaStarkWolf Fri 05-Apr-19 12:26:21

Yeah agree with others, I was fully expecting to open this and for you to say you were 6 weeks not 6 months pregnant, bloody hell

GCAcademic Fri 05-Apr-19 12:39:09

I thought that although his email was tactless, he was at least trying to accommodate you.

His email doesn't suggest that he was trying to accommodate the OP. Rather, his concerns seemed to be around how she could maintain her productivity despite pregnancy.

GrandTheftWalrus Fri 05-Apr-19 12:40:11

I was off a lot on a Friday when I was pregnant as by a Friday I could barely stand and was expected to stand in a warm building for 8 hours a day with only 30 mins break.

So my manager wanted a meeting with me as it was unacceptable to be phoning in on a Friday. However I had always said it was pregnancy related illness and so they couldn't touch me. I then put in a 3 week sick line and of course when it said stress on it they bent over backwards to help me.

However when I was about 8 weeks I had some bleeding while at work and phoned my boss to go home to be told "no one can cover you, you'll just need to soldier on"

DonnaDarko Fri 05-Apr-19 12:42:32

I love it that he put it in writing. He just made it much easier for you

DrinkFeckArseGirls Fri 05-Apr-19 12:47:54

OMG - what a pillock. Hope HR puts him straight.

SpannerH Fri 05-Apr-19 12:48:27

*6 days late = possibly pregnant
6 months = PREGNANT*

^ this.

Once you have confirmed you are pregnant. You are pregnant. Not barely or slightly or any other phrase ignorant people want to use. This annoys me no end. Good luck and good for you for speaking up, it will help future women in that situation as well as you hopefully.

FrozenMargarita17 Fri 05-Apr-19 12:50:12

What an idiot!

keepingspiritsup Fri 05-Apr-19 12:50:56

I agree with saraclara it's very much a fine line between saying you're not performing as well at your job because you're pregnant and then being upset/offended when he agrees! I think perhaps he just phrased it tactlessly. I'm not sure what you're aiming to achieve other than getting him in trouble which is going to make him think twice about employing more women of child bearing age in the future

Whether we like it or not/choose to accept it or not pregnancy is an inconvenience to employers and colleagues and we are very well protected legally during pregnancy already x

Namelessinseattle Fri 05-Apr-19 12:52:04

I believe Toby Ziegler put it best when he said “pregnancy as I understand it is a binary state” so you’re unlikely to get more pregnant

saraclara Fri 05-Apr-19 13:01:48

His email doesn't suggest that he was trying to accommodate the OP. Rather, his concerns seemed to be around how she could maintain her productivity despite pregnancy.

Well yes. She has a job, and she needs to be able to carry it out. If pregnant women can't do their job, then as someone else said, people are even less likely to employ women who might get pregnant.

Again, there's a double standard running through this thread, when you read people's posts.
There's the "How dare people say pregnant women can't do their jobs properly, and there's the "how dare he not accept that she can't do her job properly at the moment" posts going along side by side.

FerdinandAndHisMassiveBalls Fri 05-Apr-19 13:15:46

I agree with saraclara it's very much a fine line between saying you're not performing as well at your job because you're pregnant and then being upset/offended when he agrees!

He said she wasn't really pregnant enough to be affected, I don't believe he really agreed with anything.

Loyaultemelie Fri 05-Apr-19 13:16:24

My now late 20s brainbox cousin was born at 25 weeks, what a daft remark from your manager.

Angeladelight Fri 05-Apr-19 13:17:40

Yes do raise with HR. Very insensitive.

FerdinandAndHisMassiveBalls Fri 05-Apr-19 13:17:52

Had a 1 to 1 in work, all fine really but they said though the quality of my work is the same I am working a bit slower than usual.

The Op is working fine, she's slightly slower due to a medical issue.

Ill people will work differently to abled bodied people, shall we say employers are doing them a favour in employing them? Needing to wee constantly is a medical condition it doesn't require mocking form the employer.

PoliticalBiscuit Fri 05-Apr-19 13:28:11

How very U to send the details to your HR Department rather than walking over there and gently talking about it and what he said in the meeting, and then going on to pull out the piece of paper and adding "Then he sent me this message which felt a bit uncomfortable"

Just only to see the actual look on their faces!!! shock

It's a bit like how if you won the lottery you wouldn't send your best friend a postcard you'd make sure you went round with a bottle of champagne to get the reaction yourself. Well like that, but the opposite grin

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