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AIBU?

to ask about CAFCASS influence/experiences?

9 replies

gillyanne5 · 05/04/2019 09:49

Asking again as not getting much response on divorce/sep board.

Abusive ex is apparently taking me to court for access to his young ebf DC. He has no contact currently due to his emotional abuse and my refusal to be in a room with him. All supported by solicitor. Am working with women's aid. I left with our son and am staying between my friend and my mums house. Friend lives an hour away from ex and mum lives 3 hours away. Ex wants me to facilitate DC seeing him 4x a week. Thinks I should do most driving which would equal DC in car up to 8 hours a week, if not more. He thinks IABU stYing with my parents so far away from him. He's continued to be abusive towards me. Made threats that 'things are going to end badly for me if I don't do what he asks' - no idea what that means. Solicitor has said CAFCASS will be interested in this and they'll also be interested in the fact that his eldest DC from a previous relationship witnessed his abusive behaviour.

How much influence do CAFCASS really have?
How do they work?
What if he accused me of lying? (I'm not)

Very nervous about it all...

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gillyanne5 · 05/04/2019 10:38

Bump.

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applesarerroundandshiny · 05/04/2019 11:06

I think that CAFCASS works as advocacy on behalf of the child. I would hope that all professionals including judge would have had enough experience of controlling relationships to understand why you had to flee the relationship and move so far away with your DC . I would guess that your solicitor has recommended them as she thinks they will be if benefit to you and your DC in the situation you are in.

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Merryoldgoat · 05/04/2019 11:14

CAFCASS are supposedly the child’s voice in court. They are rather unpredictable in their effectiveness but judges USUALLY go with their recommendations along with recommendations made by other professionals involved.

I’d ensure you keep all threatening messages from him so you can use them as evidence.

Was he physically abusive? Did you call the police? How old is his oldest child?

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gillyanne5 · 05/04/2019 11:29

@Merryoldgoat his oldest is 7. She's really scared of him. Never physical but was aggressive aka would punch and throw things. I called the police for a disclosure but haven't heard back yet. Can take weeks. They also gave me advice re his threats. Never had to call due to a specific incident though.

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gillyanne5 · 05/04/2019 12:00

I hope so @applesarerroundandshiny - you just hear so many horror stories it's difficult to trust anyone when essentially all you're doing is trying to protect your child.

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aquashiv · 05/04/2019 17:47

Have you reported to children's services?

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gillyanne5 · 05/04/2019 19:23

@aquashiv yes but they closed the case as I had fled and wasn't living with him anymore.

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Merryoldgoat · 05/04/2019 19:26

I suspect you’ll be in for a bumpy ride. I hope it all goes okay for you.

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gillyanne5 · 05/04/2019 21:16

Thank you @Merryoldgoat x

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