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To feel hormones run my life?

(21 Posts)
AliceRR Fri 05-Apr-19 09:30:50

I suffer with PMT/PMS once a month, usually for about five days before my period. I had thought that it affects everyone the same and that maybe I’m the only one who talks about it or I’m being dramatic but I recently read it affects 1 in 5 women so maybe not everyone gets it as I do. My friends don’t seem to. It seems to affect me so much I have to tell my DH and friends (we’ll DH recognises it before I do even if I don’t think I’m showing it).

I don’t just get irritable or “moody”, I get angry and worked about things that happened ages ago or haven’t even happened yet, if I’m annoyed or have an argument with DH I can almost feel my blood boiling. I don’t know how else to describe it but it’s like a physical feeling or urge and I feel like I need to do something to make it go away. For example if DH has annoyed me I feel like I need to tell him there and then. If he’s not there I’d have to call him. If he didn’t answer I might call again, text, leave a message and basically feel worked up until I heard from him.

At the moment I’m dealing with something that’s really difficult anyway (stillbirth at full term, 7 weeks ago).

I’ve already had my first period since the birth. Wednesday night I felt so low, more than usual, so looked at my Ovia app yesterday and it predicts my next period is due on Monday so it’s definitely PMT time.

I just wondered whether anyone else / everyone else feels the same way? Am I just handling it badly? What helps? Should I be talking to my doctor or is that a bit dramatic? I can live with it but those five days are difficult and it affects my work. I’m on mat leave now though.

I had read a lot of women found things harder around the 8 week / 2 month mark after losing a baby as it takes time to sink in so there could be an element of that but I’m definitely feeling the effects of PMT. it’s quite distinctive to me.

Thanks for reading / replying

MRex Fri 05-Apr-19 09:36:28

I don't get the symptoms you're describing, they sound very difficult to deal with mint in afraid I've no suggestions for how you manage them. Maybe anti-anxiety meds might help?

Have you been getting any counselling since your baby's death?

IsThisHappeningToday Fri 05-Apr-19 09:40:25

Sorry to hear your struggles- have a look at the cycle diet.

FissionChips Fri 05-Apr-19 09:40:26

Have you looked up premenstrual dysphoric disorder?

AliceRR Fri 05-Apr-19 09:41:57

Have you been getting any counselling since your baby's death?

My employer is paying for private counselling for me and my DH, which is really good of them. Our first session is on Monday

We also went to one Sands meeting and plan to go to the next one too (they are monthly).

I’m not sure about taking any medication. It maybe if it was something that I could just have for the few days I’m affected. I wouldn’t want to be “on” something long term.

Thinking about it, exercise used to help me a bit if I was having a bad day. I’m still recovering physically from the birth so can’t even walk too far so maybe that’s contributing to making things feel more difficult at the moment. I also have some ab separation and have been advised not to even do pilates or yoga atm.

AliceRR Fri 05-Apr-19 09:43:16

have a look at the cycle diet

Have you looked up premenstrual dysphoric disorder?

Haven’t heard of these before. Will google now!

Thank you for the replies.

MRex Fri 05-Apr-19 09:44:20

Maybe it would help just until you can exercise again or until you plan to try for another baby (if you do).

AliceRR Fri 05-Apr-19 09:55:01

@IsThisHappeningToday This looks complicated so will give it a good read late but might be worth a try

@FissionChips Having read a bit about PMDD I think this is quite clearly me. Maybe I should speak to the GP about it. I had my 6 week postnatal checkup yesterday so it’s a shame I hasn’t read this before. Obviously I don’t mean to diagnose myself but it helps to know it might actually be something than me just going mad every month and it would explain why PMT seeks to affect me so much more than any of my friends. I find it strange I have never heard of it.

@MRex Yes perhaps especially at the moment when things are particularly difficult. Having now read about PMDD I am more inclined to see the doctor about it in case it is that.

My friends have even come to know that PMT is such a big thing for me. None of them ever mention it so I thought it might not be as big a part of their lives or they just handle it better but maybe I am dealing with something else.

It will help when I can exercise again.

Amongstthewildthings Fri 05-Apr-19 14:05:51

I have PMDD. I get symptoms for two weeks before a period.
I can't stop eating, feel exhausted, ANGRY and emotional. Am also more clumsy. I used to think it was normal til I got my diagnosis. I am prescribed Fluxodine but it doesn't help much.

AliceRR Fri 05-Apr-19 17:10:57

@Amongstthewildthings You sound like me. I thought it was normal too as you hear about PMT etc. I get angry too but even if nothing has happened. I can feel angry about something my husband did ages ago or might do or the way he said something and I really feel like my blood is boiling. How did you get your diagnosis? And do you take the drug all the time or just when you have the PMT

Whilst I say I have it about 5 days a month, when I tell my friends I have PMT, they say I always have it! 😳

SuperSaturdaySteve Sat 06-Apr-19 18:36:05

I and two friends have this, and we all despair how long it took us to realise how bad it was - we call it Going Mega Hulk. Between us, we find exercise (getting into a routine, so we can't avoid it), multi-vitamins/supplements really make a difference (ask around for who to ask which to take).

Having a partner and family who also recognise it really helps too, so they can give me a signal to make me self-aware, and I can take myself for a walk/run/time alone.

I believe that although it's definitely hormone-based, mine's also exacerbated by tiredness, poor eating, and various non-NT issues.

Life's rich tapestry, eh?

Good luck, and flowers to you x

DianaT1969 Sat 06-Apr-19 18:51:19

Have you tried a low carb diet? I see a big difference in PMT when I eat carbs. No symptoms at all when I don't. It's an immediate difference too - from the first month. I also think vitamin d and a general multi vitamin and mineral tablet helped a lot in the past. I'm always amazed what a difference a small tablet can have on hormones and mood.

MillieMoodle Sat 06-Apr-19 19:08:30

I don't have any advice regarding PMT, but just wanted to say that I am so very sorry for your loss thanks xx

Home77 Sat 06-Apr-19 19:17:04

I have this and have found a bit of help from a herb called St Johns wort. Only a bit though, exercise helps a bit. and just letting myself feel angry.

EasilyDistracted77 Sat 06-Apr-19 19:18:02

In recent years my PMT symptoms have definitely changed. Now it manifests itself as total intolerance of my DP, about the same time every month I consider divorce! I mean, he is pretty irritating generally, but PMT-time I can't bear to be around him and I find myself easily at boiling point.

ShirleyPhallus Sat 06-Apr-19 19:21:41

I get this, I take evening primrose oil with vitamin b which has honestly been a life changer, I haven’t had a “black mood” for about 3 months

DP is very understanding - he actually says my once monthly strop is basically me
Letting all the hormones out but I completely recognise that absolute rage and the need to have a go at him about absolutely nothing. Feel like an absolute bitch afterwards but it honestly feels involuntary.

Try evening primrose oil OP. And sorry for your loss flowers

AliceRR Sat 06-Apr-19 20:13:16

Thanks all for your replies.

I had read maybe evening primrose oil might helped. Will look into it further along with St Johns wort and vitamins b and d.

I am taking a multivitamin which I think will have b and d in it.

Every now and then try to really cut down on sugar and I do find it helps my mood bit probably not enough.

I find exercise helps too but saw a physio this week due to my ab separation (plus still have pelvic and back pain) and she said not to exercise until I see her again in four weeks other than the exercises she’s given me. Maybe that’s why I’m noticing my hormones now - because I haven’t been able to exercise properly for the best part of a year.

@SuperSaturdaySteve I feel the same - it’s only now I’m realising it’s an issue as I just thought of PMT as being normal. It’s only now I’m realising how much it affects me.

My DH always notices it before I do. I always think I’m being completely reasonable of course.

ginyogarepeat Sat 06-Apr-19 20:31:50

So sorry for your loss OP thanks whilst it won't have helped your mood, this definitely sounds like PMDD. I suspect I also have it as I can get so, so irrationally angry about a week before my period. I say and do things that I hate myself for after. I know for a fact my hormone fluctuations are dreadful, plus I have other gynae issues so suspect it's all related.

Hope you get some answers from your GP x

stopfuckingshoutingatme Mon 08-Apr-19 01:35:29

I am so sorry about your stillbirth OP flowers

Really really sorry

If your hormones were in a mess god knows how they will be now

I would see a sympathetic GP and ask for some advice on this

Mine are a state too but nothing comes close
To this xxx

steff13 Mon 08-Apr-19 05:18:12

Zoloft has been a game changer for my PMDD.

AliceRR Mon 08-Apr-19 10:13:26

Thanks ladies

I can get so, so irrationally angry about a week before my period

Yes, this. I can get SO angry and upset and it all feels like the

Case in point: I managed to miss a delivery this morning while I was upstairs and I am very angry and upset about it! I want to cry and it feels like the end of the world.

If your hormones were in a mess god knows how they will be now

Yes there’s an element of this too. My period came back pretty soon after the birth - less than four weeks. My second period is already due and I’ve felt the hormones the last few days (which is what prompted this post!) but it might take time for everything to be “normal” plus I’m obviously not feeling my best.

Zoloft has been a game changer for my PMDD.

Do you take this all the time or just around certain times of the month?

I don’t mind the idea of being able to take something if I’m struggling (especially right now) but generally I would personally try to avoid any drugs just because I don’t want to become reliant on it.

I will speak to my GP but possibly if I have reason to go about something else. I’m probably nearly

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