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Am I being unreasonable to suddenly be emotional?

(5 Posts)
AsDeepAsTheOceanFloor Fri 05-Apr-19 02:49:24

I have developed a thing about death over the past week or so which is out of character for me. I wouldn't have said it was an obsession as such but I seem to catch myself thinking about it most days. I just find it incredibly sad that what I know now, my life experiences and everybody I love deeply to name some examples will be absolutely nothing at all at some point. I mean everything and everybody will essentially be flushed down the toilet to never be thought of again as though they never even existed in the first place. I don't want myself or anybody I know to die but I realise this is a reality of life unfortunately and that nothing last forever. I genuinely wish life didn't have an expiry date!

I'm never usually the emotional type but I'm literally having to fight back tears due to how depressing I find it all. What I find the most heartbreaking is seeing my parents gradually age, start to struggle more with day to day tasks and their health decling. That is not how I remember them. They were fit, healthy and didn't have as many health conditions as they do now.

This is the first time my heart has took over my head. What is this all about? I don't get where this has all come from. I do have a history of depression ever since I was a young teenager but I'm on long term medication for that which helps me quite a bit. I'm sorry if this was all over the place. I just needed to put everything out there as I couldn't hold it in any longer.

colehawlins Fri 05-Apr-19 03:19:22

It sounds like anxiety. Maybe your parents ageing is the trigger?

In terms of practical approaches, have you thought about keeping a diary or commonplace book yourself? And maybe getting your parents to do similar? Ask them to talk you through old photos? Record them telling family stories?

Obviously be tactful about your reasons. But it might help tackle your (perfectly rational) fears about knowledge, personalities & memories being "lost"?

Crunched Fri 05-Apr-19 03:20:00

I think it is absolutely normal to have emotions as you describe at times. I certainly do and I have never been diagnosed with depression.
My DM is a poor old thing now and, despite us not being very close, when her feisty character sometimes emerges from her physical frailty I feel very tearful, remembering what a Yorkshire powerhouse she once was.
It is sobering to think we are all just temporary beings on this planet and I have had times (normally in the wee small hours) when that realisation has overwhelmed me.
Not much help I know but no, yanbu.

64sNewName Fri 05-Apr-19 03:37:51

Oh op, yanbu. The whole thing is sad and can be overwhelming at times (especially at three thirty a.m.) flowers

Aquamarine1029 Fri 05-Apr-19 04:09:28

How old are you?

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