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To wonder why women don't rule the world?

(91 Posts)
Imsosorryalan75 Thu 04-Apr-19 18:09:02

When you consider that the majority of crime, violence and war in the world is organised and committed by men.
I wish women had a chance of being in the driving seat for a change.

Fr3d Sat 06-Apr-19 13:36:13

You can choose who you marry (usually!)

gamerwidow Sat 06-Apr-19 09:43:05

Women do have equal chances, but they also have choices

Do they though? Unless they have a partner who agrees that the woman's work is important as the man's work and they are prepared to share work at home 50/50 then women's choices are an illusion.

Collectingcpd Fri 05-Apr-19 22:53:47

Maybe office hours would also be different if child rearing were seen as a more important job and the importance of flexible/family friendly hours. Instead of the typical 9-5 or longer roles that are more likely to be filled by male employees.

This will never work because there will always be people (male and female) who don’t need flexible working arrangements (because they don’t have children/elderly parents/something else) who are prepared to work 60+ hour weeks and climb the greasy pole.......I certainly know which ones I’d rather employ.

I’m really encouraged by this thread........I’m so tired of the ‘us against them’ battle that seems to be regularly trotted out, and how nothing is fair for women. Women do have equal chances, but they also have choices, and as many on this thread agree, until they decide that their job is more important than their children they aren’t going to conquer the workplace, and many of us are ok with that.

GoldenWonderwall Fri 05-Apr-19 22:46:26

LuYu fab post.

It’s so easy to say women don’t want success/ aren’t cut out for success/ don’t work hard enough for success/ are better behind the scenes than being the success and on and on. We can then feel ok with our lot and/or beat ourselves up about not trying hard enough.

When girls/women do do better than men en masse society whines that the system is too feminine, it holds men down, it’s unfair and unreasonable. When it’s the other way around it’s how it should be, it plays to everyone’s strengths, it’s fine.

If we want equality we’d need 100s of years of women making all decisions and owning all wealth and property to even it up before we start again on an equal footing. Really we want and society needs genuine equity of opportunity and we’re still nowhere near that.

AngieBolen Fri 05-Apr-19 22:32:26

Because women tend to want to be with their young children if possible, while men tend to want to go out and hunt/gather/earn.

Any parent in a senior position has had to delegate childcare to spouse/family/nanny because it's virtually impossible to do both.

When women can't or don't want to spend more time with their babies than be at work, (as has been the case for the majority of men in the past) then women will start to rule the world.

Fr3d Fri 05-Apr-19 22:26:01

Satisfaction from making a difference? Achievement? Get your name in the history books? The £££ and pension? Power? Liking for non-stop abuse and complaints?

Fr3d Fri 05-Apr-19 22:20:25

Even the after school club has male and female staff, teachers are male and female and currently the TA's are all male

BogstandardBelle Fri 05-Apr-19 22:19:01

Why would we want to? Seriously, what’s the advantage to ruling the world?

Fr3d Fri 05-Apr-19 22:18:44

Thankfully it's a bit more open minded here, despite being rural and traditional in many ways.

The80sweregreat Fri 05-Apr-19 22:15:56

I know of two 'stay at home dads '. Kids are primary school age.

Most other mums are a bit suspicious of them. Comments such as ' being kept by his wife is wrong' ' kids need their mum' 'it's not right' etc etc. They will have as many barriers to do this as women will and I still see more females than males doing drop off at breakfast club.
Most men wouldn't want this set up although I can't see anything wrong with it myself.
Until there's a bit more equality and less judgemental thinking I can't see the bulk of child rearing being a mans job even if they might be better at it! People still think in a ' traditionalist way' more than you think.

Fr3d Fri 05-Apr-19 22:13:41

I do think there has been huge change even in the last 30 years. Lots of dad's doing school runs around here, some SAHD's whose dw's work FT. Jacinta Arden having a baby and taking some maternity leave while PM. Having children doesn't rule out ruling! Ireland had female presidents for 21 years in a row, both of whom had children. Like everything, there will be good and bad male and female politicians.

longwayoff Fri 05-Apr-19 21:58:44

Er, I think you'll find we're too busy?

AngelsSins Fri 05-Apr-19 21:55:44

Because most of the technology we depend on was invented by men. Sorry but that's the truth

How do you know? Because history tells you? I suggest you look a little deeper. Women weren’t allowed to own a patent until fairly recent history, so any woman that invented something, had to have it registered by a man. Women also weren’t allowed bank accounts or to own property, were legally barred from certain industries where inventions might be created, could be legally sacked once married or pregnant but had no access to birth control. Men made it impossible for women to succeed.

A perfect example is one you gave yourself, the plane. It wasn’t created by two men, it was created by two men and a woman, their sister. But she’s the one who was written out of history so that people like you can believe that man can claim they invented everything.

gamerwidow Fri 05-Apr-19 21:35:14

What would be even better is if child rearing wasnt seen as just a woman’s job and men took a proper share of the childcare role. More men need to be SAHDs and to go part time and take the career hit rather than it bring assumed the mum always has to. Men need to be supported at work to share the load of raising a family in the way women have had to. If needs to be as common for a man to be the main carer as it for a woman.

Imsosorryalan75 Fri 05-Apr-19 21:02:51

Why is my post seen as 'man bashing' hmm I certainly didn't mean it that way.
Just wondering what the world would be like if the majority of world leaders were women instead of men.
Maybe office hours would also be different if child rearing were seen as a more important job and the importance of flexible/family friendly hours. Instead of the typical 9-5 or longer roles that are more likely to be filled by male employees.

BloodyDisgrace Fri 05-Apr-19 14:13:09

I think it's because women say too many "sorries" and "excuse me"s and budge out of a man's way. First one needs to train oneself into thinking you have a right to be here, take space, and enjoy yourself. Or quite audible "I haven't finished yet!' at a work meeting. (had to do it only once, but it worked miracles ever since)

SpamChaudFroid Fri 05-Apr-19 13:59:51

no-one gets to be president just because they have a penis.

It certainly helps though. When my DSis joined the police force in the 80s, WPCs were at last awarded a bonus of a third of a house deposit. The male PCs bonus was double that, at 2 thirds, because "they have to provide for their family".

Dexra Fri 05-Apr-19 13:54:56

LuYu
Spot on

Collectingcpd Fri 05-Apr-19 13:47:35

Spot on sleepingsloth
And this:
no-one gets to be president just because they have a penis.
DH’s boss is female. She easily works 60+ Hours a week. Her husband’s job is even more demanding. Her DC have been brought up Monday-Friday by nannies. There is no glass ceiling for women, just a choice about how much time they want to spend with their children. Women can be CEOs (and are)but not if they want to start work at 9 and finish at 3. It’s the ‘you can have it all’ lie. You can’t. You can’t have children (and be actively involved in their day to day life), and have a high flying career.

LuYu Fri 05-Apr-19 11:52:24

I think encouraging women to break barriers, stereotypes and expectations is always good, but describing women as their 'own worst enemy' is just another phrasing of the 'well, they just don't want to be in power' argument. It's the whole 'well, you could do it if you wanted to' thing.

Women are not to blame for the structural inequalities which hold them back. Men hold the advantage of precedent, the status quo: no, maybe nobody's giving them anything, but it's being held out with the expectation that they will take it.

Also, IMO the whole breaking barriers rhetoric is getting old. It gives this false impression of a siege line of men across the room, standing between you and the prize, when it's actually a lot more complicated, like a huge jostling festival crowd you have to push through forever and ever, people stepping on your toes and spilling beer on you (often unintentionally) and you never seem to reach the clear open space you're expecting.

It's not a question (most of the time) of being met with outright obvious sexism, someone yelling 'get back in your place, woman!'. Instead it's a slow and constant slog against a million things, many of which you might not consciously notice but which still affect you: being ignored, talked over, patronised; being the only woman in the room, being conspicuous, at odds with the status quo; being judged more on your appearance and having your interpersonal skills distorted or exaggerated (eg you're too bossy, too emotional, too flirty); being seen as dominating a conversation if you speak 50% of the time; being held responsible for other people's emotional wellbeing; being immersed in a media where a female's appearance or childbearing status are often their defining factors; growing up seeing almost every single influential figure in certain fields as male; seeing other women laughed at or torn down for being ambitious or outspoken; having kids and constantly second-guessing whether you are seeing them too little (or too much); trying to work in conditions and facilities which are designed for men; being told you're your own worst enemy and all this would go away if you just tried harder.

It just wears you down. That's what I see, in this country, more than the big man at the door shouting NO in your face: initial optimism slowly abraded into weary awareness that it's not just one barrier, it's so many things. I don't really know any more if I want to raise my daughter with this 'yay, girls can run the world!' attitude. It's more like 'yay, girls are technically capable of running the world but very few get the opportunity and that's not actually their fault, but do give it your best shot, and by the way your behaviour and success if you do reach a position of influence will be taken as representative of all future women's behaviour and success in that field, so good luck with that'. Which is a less cheerful slogan.

SnakeRattleRoll Fri 05-Apr-19 11:15:48

excuse the typos!

SnakeRattleRoll Fri 05-Apr-19 11:14:56

@InspectorClouseauMNdivision nails it, what is that quote? "Don't teach your daughters to chase glass slippers, teach them to smash glass ceilings". Very apt, we need to irradiate the vacuous reality TV star "idol" and teach girls you don't need to aspire to be famous just for the sake of it, we need to stop rewarding this fake "talent" and start pushing the idea that you can find reward in any job well done! That starts with the media. There are lots of clever and brilliant women in positions of power, in science, in engineering, in manufacturing, but we as a society prefer to show Love Island contestants, Katie Prices.

I teach my daughter to never give up, she falls down I tell her to get back up again, she can't do something I tell her to keep trying until she can.

If we can do more of this there is no reason Women can't "run the world", but why should it not be a mix of genders? Men and Women bring different things to the table, different working out methods and skills.

The problem isn't men, per se, but the type of men, not necessarily worthy of the job, but there on breeding and connections. This is the problem.

PregnantSea Fri 05-Apr-19 11:00:44

There are lots of women in positions of power..?

InspectorClouseauMNdivision Fri 05-Apr-19 10:55:44

I think women are their own enemies sometimes tbh.

No one will break barriers for us. We must do it and many of us are. Women are running businesses, running countries, inventing stuff, but it all comes down to...
Are women in general doing enough to get into that positions? Are women supporting each other? Are women telling girls that they can indeed be engineers, pilots, astronauts, scientists or politicians enough and actually support them in it?
When was the last time you bought a science kit as a present for a little girl?

No one will give us anything, just because. Women have to go and get it. So do the men. No one becomes a president, only because they have a penis🤷‍♀️
Are we expected to be at home and take care of families instead of a career? Unless the particular woman wants that, because there is nothing wrong with it if she wants it, well, I say fuck that. It shouldn't matter what is expected. What should matter is what we do and how we stand up to the wall of expectations holding many back. Do we break it down or just moan that it's there?

Pengrin Fri 05-Apr-19 10:54:46

Take a look at AIBU, that’s why!

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