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To think that this is what a ‘ beard’ is ?

(67 Posts)
Soundsgoodtome Thu 04-Apr-19 16:38:20

This term seems commonplace lately but I wondered what it was . For example a close family member is asexual , his partner is heterosexual . He doesn’t like sex and won’t have it. She likes sex but accepts that he doesn’t . He wants a partner and a baby. She is desperate to be in a relationship and wants a baby too. He likes her very much and she loves him. He treats her only average. She worships him and allows him to treat her whatever way he wants to . He treats her as a casual partner . She drops everything and runs at his whims . Is this what a beard is . Somebody who knowingly acts as a partner even if they have a different sexuality and know that as a sexual person who craves sex, will not be sexually fulfilled but fulfilled in a different way? . Help me get my head round it.

HamCheeseHamnCheese Thu 04-Apr-19 16:44:34

It doesn't mean all that waffle, it just means a homosexual man's sexuality cover up female partner.

Sometimes the beard doesn't even know she's the beard!

WeepingWillowWeepingWino Thu 04-Apr-19 16:45:44

no, a beard is a straight woman who acts as a closeted gay man's partner.

That just sounds like a bloody sad situation.

Singlenotsingle Thu 04-Apr-19 16:47:09

I was expecting to see a beardy chin! There have been a couple of threads recently complaining about unwanted facial hair!

Soundsgoodtome Thu 04-Apr-19 16:47:24

Ah I thought it could be any sexuality . It’s their whole situation is hard for me to understand so please excuse my ignorance

colehawlins Thu 04-Apr-19 16:47:30

No. What you're describing is a thoroughly dysfunctional relationship.

Soundsgoodtome Thu 04-Apr-19 16:48:36

@singlenotsingle 🤭😃

BlackSatinDancer Thu 04-Apr-19 16:50:50

I thought facial hair too. I"m such an innocent 😂

Soundsgoodtome Thu 04-Apr-19 16:50:56

His partner is fully aware of his preferences and lack of sexual interest and goes along with it

mclaleli Thu 04-Apr-19 16:54:46

. It’s their whole situation is hard for me to understand so please excuse my ignorance

Why do you need to understand it?

Hearhere Thu 04-Apr-19 16:59:12

it sounds dysfunctional, why does she act as if she is the lesser person?

picklemepopcorn Thu 04-Apr-19 17:09:11

'Beard' is a person acting as a disguise for someone's sexuality. So a gay actor with a regular girlfriend so the press don't find out.

Soundsgoodtome Thu 04-Apr-19 17:18:59

Because he asked to talk to me about a few issues in his relationship and I hadn’t heard of that situation before

picklemepopcorn Thu 04-Apr-19 17:53:25

It just depends whether they each get what they need from the relationship. He is, at the moment- a family. She doesn't seem to be, because she isn't getting a full relationship. She would do better to find a partnership which is more equal.

hopeishere Thu 04-Apr-19 17:56:58

As others have said that's not a beard. Just a strange relationship.

Hazeintheclouds Thu 04-Apr-19 17:59:43

Amal is one.

hopeishere Thu 04-Apr-19 18:01:31

And Bradley Coopers partner. Allegedly.

hopeishere Thu 04-Apr-19 18:02:22

I'm never sure about Amal. She's gorgeous, smart, successful. Surely she could have found a heterosexual man? Or is she gay too?

Hazeintheclouds Thu 04-Apr-19 18:04:20

Allegedly. Meant to say...

Soundsgoodtome Thu 04-Apr-19 18:41:12

Amal!!!! Shocked at that. I would have thought that she had it all but then maybe she is also gay? @pickle.. he is getting a partner who will go along with his wants and needs and she is getting a partner who doesn’t abuse/ humiliate/treat her like rubbish, which is what she has had all through her dating years . They both want a child. He is financially and otherwise stable and has it all to the public . She comes from a tough life with no stability, money , education and she wants this for herself and future children . So their needs are being met . He thinks he is fantastic as all her family and friends can’t believe she has been so fortunate to find this man. They don’t know about the asexuality . Our family are happy for him that he has met someone as his relationships never last more than a few months tops and he is always broken up with .

SimonJT Thu 04-Apr-19 18:43:57

A partner/lover who is in place to hide your sexuality:

Soundsgoodtome Thu 04-Apr-19 18:44:54

But does that sexuality have to be homosexuality?

MonaChopsis Thu 04-Apr-19 18:49:32

I understand a beard to be a straight person acting as a boyfriend / girlfriend to a gay person of the opposite sex, to help disguise their homosexuality. I did this for a friend of mine in the late 80's early 90's, he worked at a very conservative law firm and at the time wouldn't have been accepted/promoted if he had come out.

titchy Thu 04-Apr-19 18:53:54

she is getting a partner who doesn’t abuse/ humiliate/treat her like rubbish, which is what she has had all through her dating years .

I'm not sure she's getting any of that.

She sounds like she has very low esteem and he is hugely taking advantage of that and using her. He sounds a nasty piece of work.

What on Earth that has to do with covering up someone's sexuality I don't know.

givemesteel Thu 04-Apr-19 19:01:29

I can see it with the Italian aforementioned wife of an A list actor.

She is beautiful and successful but she wasn't getting any younger for having kids and marrying this actor has literally propelled both of them to Hollywood royalty status - she has money, fame and a lifestyle she never would have had otherwise so there's a lot in it for her.

In her situation I definitely would have considered it.

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