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AIBU?

A follow up on the grubby tenants thread...new tenant has an "undisclosed infant"!

91 replies

breakthepattern · 04/04/2019 14:51

For those who joined my previous thread about cleaning after grubby tenants left... more news!

Never a dull moment.

My new tenant is in and I've just popped by while she's at work (with her agreement of course) to drop off some things I'd promised her.
And I can see she has a child living with her. A toddler. They must be sharing the one double bed.

It doesn't matter to me in the slightest that she has a little one, I have no problem with it, or where they both sleep, at all.

Except for the fact that she didn't tell me. I feel a bit odd about it!

Aibu to be a bit puzzled that she didn't think to mention it?

I wonder if she thought I might not take them on if I knew, although I can't imagine why.

I'm tempted to text her and say what I've dropped off, and then a breezy "ah and I see you have a little one! You didn't mention her? She's very welcome. Let me know if you need anything in particular for her." (It's fully furnished)

Or is it all just none of my business?!

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Report

Bumble1830 · 04/04/2019 14:54

Is the child definitely hers and living there? Maybe she is baby sitting?
I do think you have a right to know as the land lord though.

Magmatic80 · 04/04/2019 14:56

I would text that yes, saves her spending entire time worrying you’ll find out. Although maybe she isn’t doing that, as she knew you were going round and would see anyway.

breakthepattern · 04/04/2019 14:58

I thought that was possible at first but then the signs seemed too permanent.
They certainly confirm that the child is hers. But I guess it possibly might not live there full time

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MRex · 04/04/2019 15:01

Your message sounds lovely. It might save her worrying, yes. It might be that there's shared custody that's not in her favour so she didn't mention it because the child is only there occasionally?

BorsetshireBlew · 04/04/2019 15:03

Lots of landlords don't allow children. She may have been turned down before or asked to leave when she had a baby.
Yes she should have told you but equally renting for single mums is fucking hard and most of us have lied by omission (or outright!) to get homes for our families.

reallyanotherone · 04/04/2019 15:03

Do you have to disclose children? When i rented adults were on the rental agreement, children weren’t asked about or disclosed.

Can you even stop someone renting if they have a child?

Pets, on the other hand, were clearly referred to as permitted or not, and needed to be disclosed.

I would think it’s more she didn’t feel the need to tell you. Not like the child is on the rental agreement or she needs to pay a higher deposit like you would a pet..

Chocolateisfab · 04/04/2019 15:03

My tenancy just says I need to notify ll if an 18+ moves in...

Micah · 04/04/2019 15:04

Lots of landlords don't allow children.

That would be in the contract though?

breakthepattern · 04/04/2019 15:06

@BorsetshireBlew that sucks, I'm sorry for anyone that happens to. How horrid. Like it isn't hard enough.

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breakthepattern · 04/04/2019 15:07

@MRex yes that's possible

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BorsetshireBlew · 04/04/2019 15:07

What do you mean?
If you ask a letting agent to be considered for a property, they discuss you with the landlord and often the response is 'the landlord is looking for professional sharers' or similar. This is really common in the south east (even for what are blatantly 3 bed family houses)
Nothing to do with the contract

breakthepattern · 04/04/2019 15:09

@reallyanotherone I was kind of (trying) to be humorous with the "disclosure" wording .

Well that's just it really. I wouldn't have minded if she had mentioned it, and I wouldn't exclude children in my tenancy agreement (why do people do that? Because they think kids trash things?).

But I don't know officially (I'll do my homework when I get back to my own house) whether I ought to be informed or not.

If she didn't think it needed mentioning that feels better, rather than she hid it.

Either way it's not the end of the world, it just threw me a touch!

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BorsetshireBlew · 04/04/2019 15:10

Yeah, I know a family who couldn't afford a 4 bed but had too many children (4) to rent a 2/3 bed, because all the landlords they approached decided that would be too overcrowded.
Likewise I know of a single mum with 2 kids who wanted to rent a one bed because she couldn't afford a 2 bed but no landlords would let to her.
Renting with kids can be really really difficult.

breakthepattern · 04/04/2019 15:13

@BorsetshireBlew sorry if I wasn't clear.
I meant it sucks and is horrid if people get turned down because of kids, or asked to leave when they have them.

My property is too small to have ever attracted families before, so it's not a circumstance I have any experience of.

She's certainly very welcome in mine.

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breakthepattern · 04/04/2019 15:15

And yes, my contract states no animals, and only adults named on the agreement (or something like that) so there's nothing to say kids aren't allowed, or that they must be "named" or "disclosed" ! 😉

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kaytee87 · 04/04/2019 15:17

She probably just didn't think to mention it? I don't rent but if I did then my DH and I would be signing the tenancy agreement and wouldn't think to mention ds unless it specifically came up in conversation.

TheBabyAteMyBrain · 04/04/2019 15:18

We had to leave a flat when I was pregnant with ds1 as children weren't allowed. Finding a house or flat in our area which was child friendly/allowed children was so difficult and frustrating. We were lucky with this flat and our landlords even sent flowers when ds was born.

I can see why she might have neglected to mention a child. As the pp said, I would message as she probably is worrying she'll be 'found out' and asked to leave.

TheBabyAteMyBrain · 04/04/2019 15:19

We are in the process of moving again and our paperwork for the new house had us name and give ages of the children.

LemonDrizzle69 · 04/04/2019 15:20

Just check your house insurance.
I remember my landloard insurance forms specifically asking if anyone under the age 16 lived there and if so their rough ages. I have no idea why though.

LemonDrizzle69 · 04/04/2019 15:20

Sorry, landlord**

breakthepattern · 04/04/2019 15:21

@LemonDrizzle69 yes that's the sort of thing that's in the back of my mind. I'll check.

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breakthepattern · 04/04/2019 15:21

@TheBabyAteMyBrain yes thank you, I will definitely message her.

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kaytee87 · 04/04/2019 15:21

I'm sure if she was worried about being 'found out' she would have hidden all of the child's things given she knew you were coming.

breakthepattern · 04/04/2019 15:24

@kaytee87 it just feels like in the chats we did have, when she looked round, it had to have been a deliberate omission. I might be wrong, but we talked a bit about where she lived now and so on.

And yes, there wasn't that much kid stuff about, but I had to move the sofa a bit and noticed a kids book tucked behind a cushion.

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Bugsymalonemumof2 · 04/04/2019 15:27

I imagine she didn't tell you because of the reaction many landlords have :( sounds like a lpvely message to send and a lovely landlord

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