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School driving me insane!

(11 Posts)
cheaperthebetter Wed 03-Apr-19 17:17:23

Ds(Sen) 11Y6, mainstream but in SEN base.
DS has rare syndrome, can not speak so uses sign to communicate, he can hear and see fine too, his condition puts him a very high risk of choking as he can not chew as his mouth is paralysed.
Long story short; dinner lady gave DS a packet of chewy sweets (chewits) outside in the play ground, she also gave them to the other children in his class, DS gets transportation home, DS has these sweets in his pocket for the whole time, until I greeted him off the bus.
Low and behold YES I was FURIOUS as if he had put one of these in his mouth he WOULD OF choked not a case of MIGHT OF he WOULD have.
I have had many issues with the school as his 1:1 was not cutting/slicing, crushing his food up as shown and also states this in 'care plan' and 'EHCP', been in several occasions and spoke to head about it who said she will make sure it wouldnt happen again, but it did!, So enough was enough I called LA and refused to send him in there as they were constantly playing 'Russian roulette' with my sons life.

However this has only been an issue since the new HT came in.

LA couldn't get son into a SEN school lack of places but he is going to one for secondary, so they agreed I come in to feed him everyday to which I have since NOV 18.

However the HT hates the fact I'm in there, she hates me full stop tbh I can't go into too much detail as I've already most likely outed myself too much.

Ht is trying absolutely anything and everything to make it very unwelcoming to fed my son, also she just seems to whine me up, just pushing my buttons!

All I do is go in feed my son, clean him up and walk out!

I know it not 'AIBU' just please any advice ????? thanks

mbosnz Wed 03-Apr-19 17:20:43

Be coldly polite to HT, interact with them as little as possible, and ignore their hostility. Do what you need to do, be vigilant for your son, flag any further issues that need to be flagged in a similar formal, professional manner and just do not engage any more than you have to.

Hang in there. Pickle your liver.

TreadingThePrimrosePath Wed 03-Apr-19 17:31:04

Keep a diary and a paper trail as a record, and back up conversations and phone calls with an email stating what was said and agreed.
Keep insisting they stick to the care plan and the EHCP, make his class teacher aware that she is also responsible for ensuring our child is safe in school, not just his 1:1. Get the LEA and their SEN team onboard and make sure they know your concerns. Head may dislike you, that’s her problem.

TreadingThePrimrosePath Wed 03-Apr-19 17:33:23

Oh, and repost on the SEN boards here, there’s a lot of knowledge and support for you there.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend Wed 03-Apr-19 17:58:15

At 11 years old, is your ds not aware of his dietary limitations?

I don’t see the issue with giving him the treats as he could eat them to his limitations at home (prepared appropriately)

I think your misplacing your complaint, you need to take measures as to why they are not following his care plan to his health requirements and by not preparing his food to his limitations they are not only putting him at risk, they are risking his life.

MrsMoastyToasty Wed 03-Apr-19 18:00:53

Sounds like the HT needs reminding that the EHCP is a legal document and should be adhered to.

cheaperthebetter Wed 03-Apr-19 19:01:35

What is getting to me is;

The HT is taking it out on me that herself and staff put my DS life at risk!
It's like she can not accept this was their wrong doing, I feel like she sees this as a game? But it is not!

I'm not being difficult at all, I go in fed my son, clean him up and walk out!

She got a member of staff to hand me a volunteer application form, I told them I'm not signing it as I'm not a volunteer! I'm a parent who comes in feeds her DS as they are incompetent to do so!

cheaperthebetter Wed 03-Apr-19 19:07:40

It's in school policy that children are not to be giving any sweets as they could have allergies etc, my son has a syndrome, which she knew of, also no one knew she had gave them to him of the children, only when I complained, my DS is 11 but very delayed think 4 years old , should of stated that in post.

Ellisandra Wed 03-Apr-19 19:17:38

Why the aggro about signing the volunteer form?
Do you know why they want it, and what is your issue with it?
Presumably the school need to have a paper trail of who they are letting on site, and this form covers it. They don’t have a form for Parenting Caring for Child.
Does it matter?
I can see why you and the head are not going to get along if you’re making a big deal about signing it.

Shocking that the 1:1 has left you in the position of needing to go in though angry

cheaperthebetter Wed 03-Apr-19 20:02:46

They have a paper trail of me, I sign in with name and reason , I wear a lanyard too with my visiting number on it, I then I sign out!
I won't sign the volunteer form as 'I'm not a volunteer' I'm there because it is the only way my son will still get educated until he moves to secondary.
Your right they won't have a 'parent carer form' but I'm not a volunteer!

FeedMeTikka Wed 03-Apr-19 23:55:01

**Why the aggro about signing the volunteer form?
Do you know why they want it, and what is your issue with it?
Presumably the school need to have a paper trail of who they are letting on site, and this form covers it. They don’t have a form for Parenting Caring for Child.
Does it matter?**

She isn’t a volunteer, her attending the school to feed her son is in no way voluntary and the only reason the school want her to sign a volunteer form is to cover their own arses. The only reason cheaperthebetter attends is because of the schools sheer incompetence. They’ve not only failed in their legal duty of care over a pupil but failed to follow the legal ehc and medical care plan and endangered her child’s life. I can see why the head and the op aren’t going to get on, and in no way does the blame lie with the op!

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