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To think people have a habbit of making excuses for rotten people...

(6 Posts)
TeaForTheWin Wed 03-Apr-19 14:29:04

Ok so I started my new little volunteer job (unpaid but for a good cause) a few weeks ago and on my first day there I met one of the other members, we were chatting and another staff member arrives. When she is nearby staff member 1 says loudly 'oh no not her, I HATE her, she's the only one I don't like'. Obviously aiming it at her meaning her to hear. Nasty.

I was taken aback and I admit I chickened and decided to just pretend I hadn't noticed. I thought at some point I must have a wee word with her and see she is ok and if this is an ongoing thing and if she needs help. But every chance I got to speak with her the next few weeks, others were around. She is also very, very quiet so I feel I wouldn't have got a much of answer anyway. I could see on the schedule that she was working a lot of shifts alone with this man. SO, a I decided to clype. I clyped, bigtime. And I was told that this wasn't the first time he had been pulled up about his behaviour and that it would be dealt with.

But the new schedule is out now and he is still on it. He is also still on shifts with her :/ and me. And he probably knows it was me who clyped. I still feel I did the right thing (bar maybe not talking to her first) but yeah... I've been bullied in the workplace before and so maybe I have a hairline trigger for these things...so maybe I let that influence my actions. Maybe I acted more for me than for her :/ I just hate nastiness and I want to fight it when I see it.

Anyway, all that aside, I was speaking with someone about it all today and she basically told me I was in the wrong for not getting his side of the story. Wtf? Am I being dense here...I mean who cares what his side of the story was! She could be the biggest asshole in the planet and he could have told me (quietly) if he wanted, but what he wanted was to bully her. There's NO excuse for that right? His side of the story isn't relevant. He acted as he did because he is an asshole.

Anyone notice how quick we are as humans to look for reasons to justify or excuse genuinely cruel behaviour? It's so frustrating! This woman was 20 years my senior and I think in the past I would have genuinely worried that maybe she was right...but after my own life experiences as of late I have come to realise that there are just a lot of really shitty people in the world and there's no point trying to 'understand' them, they just aren't like us.

Anyone else struggled with similar experiences of this attitude of people coming to the aid of those who don't deserve it (and failing to help/potentially damaging further those who do).

PentreBachCymraeg Wed 03-Apr-19 14:45:18

Clype?

HeathRobinson Wed 03-Apr-19 14:46:42

Dobbed in?

geekone Wed 03-Apr-19 14:48:05

OP I knew someone would ask what Clype meant.

It’s Scottish for snitch grin

I got it op.

geekone Wed 03-Apr-19 14:48:53

Oh and yes it’s out of order but it’s volenteering so you might not get anywhere, they might need him too much.

geekone Wed 03-Apr-19 14:49:23

Yes @HeathRobinson one and the same

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