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To think this was really inappropriate?

(44 Posts)
IntoValhalla Wed 03-Apr-19 12:51:32

Back story: There’s woman who’s kids used to go to my DC’s nursery, very troubled in every sense of the word ie, alcohol, drugs, MH issues etc. Children removed by SS a while ago, and no longer attend the nursery. There was a big incident over the weekend, resulting in this woman being arrested - we live in a small village, so everyone knows about it.

Fast forward to today, and I’ve gone to pick my DC up from nursery. Probably 7 or 8 mums all waiting in the cloakroom for our DCs, chatting, manager in the office chirping into the conversation. Then the conversation turned to the incident at the weekend, and the family in question. Then the manager mentions about how she knows the social worker involved (presumably because SS had contact with her while the DCs were attending the nursery?) and then starts talking openly about details of their ongoing case hmm
I was gobsmacked that someone in that position would openly gossip about something so sensitive with other parents!! The woman in question is no friend of mine, and I’ve witnessed some of her absolutely hideous drunken behaviour, but I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her, having her business discussed by everyone, including someone in a position of trust confused I didn’t say anything at the time, but I’m now thinking I should have said how inappropriate it was?
Would you have said anything?

TheSerenDipitY Wed 03-Apr-19 12:53:51

very bad, now imagine what she says about you to others when your not there..... not a good manager and i guess privacy isnt high on her list

IntoValhalla Wed 03-Apr-19 12:58:42

TheSeren This woman has done nothing to help herself at all - her public behaviour has been truly awful, so everyone knows about “the incident” anyway, I was just stood there like “wtf is she thinking telling everyone about their social services case?!”.
Makes me feel like I’m lucky I have a boring life without much worth discussing confused

HJWT Wed 03-Apr-19 13:04:10

@IntoValhalla why didn't you say something? I would of said something along the lines of "you want to be very careful discussing LAC cases you could put your job and the social workers at risk"

That would of shut her up 😤

IntoValhalla Wed 03-Apr-19 13:08:46

HJWT I honestly don’t know why I didn’t! I really wish I had.
So I’m guessing she could actually get into real trouble for spilling sensitive information like that?

InternetArgument Wed 03-Apr-19 13:46:27

If you don’t deserve respect you don’t get it. Nothing wrong here.

Bobbycat121 Wed 03-Apr-19 13:49:11

This wouldnt bother me I must admit I couldnt care less, I doubt they gossip about
you so I would ignore pp saying imagine what she says about
you unless your the same as this woman, then its clear why shes saying it.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Wed 03-Apr-19 13:50:46

Does the manager own the nursery or is she an employee? I would complain about this, I'm a stickler for the rules and this breaches every aspect of confidentiality, where I work this would be a gross misconduct

Footdrama Wed 03-Apr-19 13:54:13

Totally unprofessional in my view. Plus I’d be concerned if they love a gossip, then what else are they disclosing and to whom etc.

IntoValhalla Wed 03-Apr-19 14:15:31

PlainSpeaking the nursery is a registered charity, so I’m not sure whether she’s the owner or an employee.

FootDrama I think that’s why it’s got my back up a bit. Like I said, this women is no friend of mine, and I’m not surprised “the incident” has been discussed as it’s actually been in the local press, but the details of the ongoing social services case really didn’t sit right with me - so if she’s willing to be so blasè about discussing that with every man and his dog, what else is she disclosing?

clairemcnam Wed 03-Apr-19 14:17:44

I would report this to OFSTED. But then I would have said something. Nobody should be discussing social service cases. And she is breaking GDPR.

clairemcnam Wed 03-Apr-19 14:19:33

If you don’t deserve respect you don’t get it. Nothing wrong here.

Luckily the legal system does not agree that laws to protect people do not apply if people do not like you.

Or you could report anonymously to SS that this woman is telling other parents confidential information about SS cases.

Acis Wed 03-Apr-19 14:19:35

I'm almost more concerned that the social worker has been gossiping about this with the manager. You might want to flag this up with them, as it could put any legal proceedings in danger.

clairemcnam Wed 03-Apr-19 14:22:22

The social worker may have shared details as part of her job, or the nursery manager could have been present at a case conference where lots of confidential info would have been shared. It is not unusual for a nursery manager to know about a SS case of children who attend the nursery. The fault here is with the nursery manager.

bloodywhitecat Wed 03-Apr-19 14:26:12

If you don’t deserve respect you don’t get it. Nothing wrong here.

You don't have to show any respect to the adult concerned but her children deserve respect and confidentiality.

The manager has been foolish, this needs reporting at the very least she needs further training.

clairemcnam Wed 03-Apr-19 14:29:08

Yes anyone who can not see the potential impact on the children of this information being shared is pretty naive or dim.
SS information is kept confidential for a reason. This is appalling.

NWQM Wed 03-Apr-19 14:32:56

I would definitely lose respect for the manager as it was very unprofessional.

Whether she has broken confidentiality, GDPR etc really depends on what she said and how she knows the information.

Atalune Wed 03-Apr-19 14:33:03

You must call OFSTED. Totally unprofessional, total disregard for safeguarding and is potentially putting the children at risk.

Call them now.

IntoValhalla Wed 03-Apr-19 14:36:47

Do I just go through the OFSTED website?

It’s really got my heckles up hmm
It’s such a small village, and while I admit, the woman in question hasn’t been exactly quiet about her issues or done anything to try and hide her behaviour from anyone, the children don’t deserve their business being spouted around sad They are all very young too sad

OldAndWornOut Wed 03-Apr-19 14:40:35

Its disgusting behaviour from staff at these children's nursery.
Foul, unprofessional, and needs reporting.

Susanna30 Wed 03-Apr-19 14:43:35

I wouldn't make a formal complaint. Even though you felt it was an inappropriate overshare, you're child attends this nursery where the woman works and you want to be able to get along with everyone there.

Mention it to her directly and kindly that commenting on a case is inappropriate. If you have to. But don't set out to get her in trouble with her employers and Ofsted.

dustarr73 Wed 03-Apr-19 14:49:56

Since you didnt pull her up at the time,make that call.She wont know its you,
God knows what else she blabs about.

NWQM Wed 03-Apr-19 14:53:45

I appreciate that you are thinking of the best interests of the child but did she disclose anything - other than knowing the social worker - that any of you didn't know?

Ofsted are clear that you have to follow local complaints procedure first. If you have no other complaints - the children in question don't go to that nursery do they still? - why would you go to Ofsted?

IntoValhalla Wed 03-Apr-19 14:58:25

NWQM yes she did unfortunately confused She talked about some details of court proceedings regarding the children and details of their long-term care arrangements.

sar302 Wed 03-Apr-19 15:00:00

Having worked for a local authority education team, if I shared details like that about a case with a group of parents, I would probably be sacked. Confidentiality is absolute (bar appropriate information sharing for safeguarding purposes.) it doesn't matter if most of the parents knew some of the details already.

The nursery manager will likely have the details because the social worker has shared these, but her sharing them with a group of parents is completely inappropriate. So ridiculously inappropriate.

The nursery should have an officially channel for complaints, which should also include who to contact if you are not satisfied with the outcome of the complaint.

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