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Creepy commuting

(242 Posts)
Shoxfordian Wed 03-Apr-19 12:09:39

Is it just me who keeps meeting creepy men on her commute to work?!

Today the checkout assistant in my regular sandwich shop told me he'd seen me somewhere before.

Yes I said, here, where I buy my lunch before work.

No, somewhere else he says and proceeds to ask where I work, he says he lives near there and how do I get there from the shop?! Then says he might see me later. I said he might not and scarpered. Asking all those questions made me wonder if he was planning to stalk me.

A few weeks ago, a bus driver in a parked bus shouted at me. I stopped and he said you look beautiful. Thanks. I really wanted a random man to validate me. Ugh.

There's another creepy man who gets my usual bus who used to talk to me all the time until I blanked him enough for him to get the message. Plus a creepy security guard at work, who has now left.

I must have a creepy man magnet somewhere on my person. I wish I could turn it off. Argh.

Bezalelle Wed 03-Apr-19 12:11:13

YANBU. There's creeps fucking everywhere.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Wed 03-Apr-19 12:13:30

99% of the time its conversation. People do that. It's quite normal.

O/T I read threads like this and wonder how any one ever communicates, talks, god forbid flirts, out in the real world. Must all be done by app.

Shoxfordian Wed 03-Apr-19 12:22:22

I don't want to have a conversation though. I want to buy my lunch and leave, not make a friend.

Nice statistic as well. Is that from ons or just made up?

Bussells Wed 03-Apr-19 12:33:03

@PlainSpeakingStraightTalking funny how many more random men, multiple times a day, wanted to ‘just have a conversation’ with me when I was twenty years younger and a size 10. Funnily enough hardly any do now that I’m fat and 40. Thank goodness.

DerelictWreck Wed 03-Apr-19 12:35:05

99% of the time its conversation. People do that. It's quite normal.

Lol what bollocks

PBo83 Wed 03-Apr-19 12:36:29

I read threads like this and wonder how any one ever communicates, talks, god forbid flirts, out in the real world. Must all be done by app.

I'd be inclined to agree with this (on the most part, the bus driver sounds a bit creepy to be fair).

I don't want to have a conversation though. I want to buy my lunch and leave, not make a friend.

And that's your prerogative to be fair although I can understand, if you're working in a sandwich shop all day, chatting to customers may help to pass the time (same in any service industry). It may well be a clumsy attempt at flirting but I wouldn't lose any sleep over it either way.

BlooperReel Wed 03-Apr-19 12:38:45

Yep a fair amount. The creeps I have met aren't quite as polite as yours, usually try and rub their crotch on me claiming to be 'too squashed' to not have their knob pushed on to me. Ugh.

BadPennyNoBiscuit Wed 03-Apr-19 12:39:28

99% of the time its conversation

By the time you;ve given him the benefit of the doubt and realised that he really is a creep who wont take no for an answer, he's invested in you and harder to get rid of.

Halloumimuffin Wed 03-Apr-19 12:42:05

I too have noticed the number of people making 'friendly conversation' with me has declined as I've got older and stopped wearing makeup to work.

Shoxfordian Wed 03-Apr-19 12:42:19

It was a waitrose not a sandwich shop if it makes any difference.

Its annoying because when I next go in, he may start talking to me again. Ugh.

picklemepopcorn Wed 03-Apr-19 12:42:29

It's only 'just conversation' if they are having similar conversations with men.

OoohAyyye Wed 03-Apr-19 12:49:18

If a female shop assistant striked up the same conversation would you have called her a creep?

The bus driver was inappropriate.

The man talking to you on your commute... Again, if it was a woman? And what did he talk to you about?

I get that you don't want to chat and that's fair enough. But I'm just wondering what makes it creepy (aside from the bus driver and security guard).

Shoxfordian Wed 03-Apr-19 12:57:29

I think it's inappropriate
A woman has never asked me where I work or randomly started chatting to me so it's hard to tell really.
Creepy is an instinctual feeling, you can tell when someone's just making conversation and when they're staring at you. There's another man I get my coffee from and he chats to me, not creepy though, no issues.

It's hard to define creepy but you know it when you see it

Daenerys77 Wed 03-Apr-19 13:00:09

What makes it creepy is that someone you don't know is asking questions about your day to day movements. And yes OP, I'm afraid you do have a 'creepy man magnet', it's called being female, and it is not your fault and not down to anything you are doing

Raspberry88 Wed 03-Apr-19 13:01:25

if you're working in a sandwich shop all day, chatting to customers may help to pass the time (same in any service industry)

This. If you don't want to chat then that's fine but people aren't to know. It's completely normal where I live. I talk to men and women and DH gets it in particular. He has interesting conversations with everyone. Making conversation is good. Not everyone is being creepy.

SurgeHopper Wed 03-Apr-19 13:02:23

Idiot who I bought a kebab from the other day said he'd like to see me later

Yeah, you won't.

Shoxfordian Wed 03-Apr-19 13:04:18

I'm in London. It's not normal to make eye contact, never mind conversation

Sad but true @daenerys77

Piapiapianopianopiano Wed 03-Apr-19 13:09:26

You shouldn't have to, but don't forget to put your Resting Bitch Face on before leaving the house....

FudgeBrownie2019 Wed 03-Apr-19 13:14:15

if you're working in a sandwich shop all day, chatting to customers may help to pass the time (same in any service industry)

I've worked in a couple of shops previously and chatting to customers is "how are you?" or "hasn't it gone ever so nippy this week?" not a protracted attempt to work out someone's movements. Excusing intrusive questions by passing them off as customer service seems naive.

Shoxfordian Wed 03-Apr-19 13:14:18

Always on Pia

Amongstthetallgrass Wed 03-Apr-19 13:18:00

If some one asked me where I worked and asked how I got there I’d think he was a stalker tbh!

SkinnyPete Wed 03-Apr-19 13:22:01

I'm a chap and I quite frequently get chatted to in public, especially folks in service jobs. Sometimes it's just friendly, sometimes it's a little flirty and once in a blue moon it borders on being propositioned.

Never really considered it creepy, but then men don't get neverendingly harassed by douchebags, so fully get why women defences are continually up.

RosaWaiting Wed 03-Apr-19 13:25:40

there are creeps everywhere

I thought getting older would help but apparently not.

I bought a celebration cake, the checkout guy asked what I was celebrating and did I want to "celebrate" with him later. I wish I'd shouted FUCK OFF but instead just gave him a "look" like "dude, go sit on a pencil and rotate". Which I also could have said out loud....

Gilead Wed 03-Apr-19 13:27:14

dd waiting for a train, man sits next to her asks her where she's going. She doesn't tell him. She doesn't in fact speak to him.
Asks her what she does. She ignores.
Takes his phone out and puts his playlist on asking if she likes songs.
This sort of thing is a regular occurrence and I guarantee he's never done it to a random bloke at the station.
99% of the time it's blokes being an arse and thinking women owe them something.

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